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Bill Ligon
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Why not? The audience was already asleep, anyway.

Why did the rookie magician buy a package of sugar packets?
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joseph
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To feed the horse he just produced...
Why did the magician need help with his silk trick?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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Because it was 20th Century and he was in the 21st century.

What did the magician do when he discovered that the laundry had heavy starched all of his underwear?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Bill Ligon
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He was unbending in his complaint.

What did the magician do when he couldn't find his cape?
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
joseph
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Hey, who took the drapes off the front window?...
What happened when the magician accidentally drank slush powder?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Bill Ligon
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I don't know, but the paramedics couldn't get him through the front door.

What happens when you mix slush powder with whiskey?
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
Father Photius
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You waste some awfully good whiskey.

Why did the magician insist on never seeing his assistant naked?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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It is more appealing to see a well dressed chimpanzee than a naked one.

Why must magicians use assistants for their acts?
Father Photius
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Because without them, the magician looks like a well dressed chimpanzee standing in front of an audience.

Why did the magician refuse to drive a Rolls Royce?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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He only parks Chevys and Fords at the restaurant...
What did the magician say when he dropped his zombie?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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Oh heck! There's nothing worse than a bruised night of the living dead!


What did the magician think when he sat on his thumb tip?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
JamesTong
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"Jay was here - otherwise the thumb tip would not be glued there and how am I going to pry it out without the audience noticing."

What would happen if Jay glue a thumb tip on every chair in the restaurant?
joseph
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They would rename the restaurant The Magic Goose..
What did the patrons say when the magician asked them to watch?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
JamesTong
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Give me a break! Can't you see I am having a good time with my girlfriend?

Why did the magician prefer to do table hopping instead of stage performances?
Father Photius
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He needed the exercise.

(You know James once played a love scene on the stage in Davenport, Iowa. Or was that he once place a love scene on the davenport in Stage, Iowa?)

How many rabbits must a magician eat to qualify to be a table hopper?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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3...and 4 visits to IHOP..
Why wouldn't the magician come out of his room?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
JamesTong
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Quote:
On 2009-05-31 17:15, Father Photius wrote:

(You know James once played a love scene on the stage in Davenport, Iowa. Or was that he once place a love scene on the davenport in Stage, Iowa?)



:rolleyes: Smile Smile Smile Smile
JamesTong
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Quote:
On 2009-05-31 17:38, joseph wrote:
3...and 4 visits to IHOP..
Why wouldn't the magician come out of his room?...


His rabbits hopped away with his clothings

What is the worst thing that can happen to a magician when his performance goes very very wrong?
Father Photius
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That he realizes that he is also not wearing pants and is in front of a Las Vegas showroom audience.

Why did the magician wear two left shoes?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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Because he knew he wasn't right...
Why did the magician switch to mind reading?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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