Because he read this thread then stabbed himself in the head with a fork.

How many cuttlefish make 9?

6 more than three.

What did the magician say when he realized his check had been written in disappearing ink?

Easy come... Easy go.

Why did the magician say to his assistant, "Keep the car running!"

He just went in for a very shrot while to collect his stuffs as he is jobless again.

What did the magician do when he is performing an out door show at the beach and the tsunami struck?

He used it as a climax for his lota bowl/rice bowls routine.

When does a $4.99 Wal Mart utensil holder become a $20.00 Miser's Dream bucket from a magic dealer? When does a "classic" effect become new again? Why are there tassles on heavy Chinese sticks (and what are they used for anyway)? If a magician is performing a program and there is no one there to watch, is he actually performing at all? Is it true there is no business like show business? Why do magicians have rope- do they dry their clothes outside? In what year will magical MCs no longer do "What's Next?" at conventions? Is Moholland Drive named after magician John Hoholland? What did the magician say to cover when he pulled out of his square circle the black inner chamber rather than the correct outer silver cylinder? How does one get caught in gag tag?

Where in the world does the name "The New Tops" come from and what does it mean?

I wanna know where you found a magic dealer with a $20 miser's dream bucket!


Why did the magician cut off all of his rabbits tails?

So he could do his powder puff, lipstick and eyebrow pencil effect.



By misspelling "Mulholland."

Why did the magician boil his plastic egg?

He actually wanted to fry it but couldn't get it to crack.

What did the escape artist tell the cops when they found his wife in a straight jacket in the basement?

(That's a good one Fr. Photius LOL)

"That's crazy! Why on earth would someone do that to my wife"

Why did the magician not use a real ladder for his coin ladder routine?

He had to use his step-ladder because his real ladder left home when he was 6.

What's soft, blue and tastes good on a bbq?

Anything blue does not taste good on bbq ... only the red ones do.

Why did the magician insist on performing the newspaper tear in every performance?

He hated bad reviews and was trying to destroy them all.

What was the magicians explanation when the police found his wife sawn in two?

She has a split personality!

How did Houdini lock himself out of his car?

His wife went off shopping with the car keys.

Why did the magician call the card castle a castle when it is only cards stuck together?

Because nobody would be impressed with a "cards stuck together."

Why did the magician smear his dove pan with chocolate jello pudding?

There was no cloth or tissue around to wipe his hands.

Why did the magician decide to develop an act based on real ice creams?

Because his shows were always on Sundae..
What did the bratty kid do with the scissors the magician gave him to cut the rope?...

He ran away with it.

Why did the magician do when he caught that bratty kid to get back his scissors?

Proceeded to cut his finger with the scissors.

Why did the magician make eleven kinds of balloon animals?

There's all he knows how to make and show off.

Why did the audience really believe that the badly twisted balloon is a poodle?