A Clydesdale that drinks bud light.

Where does fruit go to sweat?

A saunana or a humplum (Vegetables obviously go to Swedeish Baths).

Where do aubergines go on holiday?

To the egg plant.

What sound does an explosive monkey make?

"Hello dear,I'm Michael Winner"

What's pink and blue and hides in cabbage patches?

A cold flamingo.


How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?

Get your fairy godmother to coach the cracks out.

What did the sparrow say to the teabag?

"If I'm going to be the early bird I'd rather have a coffee"

Why are bananas bent?

Same place Harpo keeps his cutlery.

What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a sideboard?

A snappy dresser.

What do you call a Clysdale that drinks bud light?

What is a Clysdale?

A racing horse.

If it drink bud Light, then it is a racing horse who drinks crappy beer.

What is a magician's favorite beer?

Anyone that you can get a quarter into.

What is a magician's favorite food?

Stew and Dumplings.

What did the magician do to the magician with what magicians prop down at the magician's magic shop, whilst some magicians watched?

He did a lecture on the wand twirl.

What happens if you eat flash paper followed by rubber cement?

You bounce back in a flash and stick the landing!

What did the close-up artist say to the stage magician?

Your's is so much bigger than mine.

Why do magicians seem to be only able to write jokes about magicians?

Edd

Because do we really have any other life outside of magic?

What is the one thing you can do to guarentee a standing ovation?

A stand for your guitar.(Ovation that is)

What do you call a 5 string guitar?

The forgotten child of a guitar and a banjo, it's name, the Guitanjo.

If Harris ran the DMV the first day he would ________?

Edd

Change his drivers license picture so it looked like he had hair?? (lol..sorry bud)

If Magic Enhancer ran the DMV the first day, he would ___________? (Hopefully you can get back to me in time Harris!)