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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Gag tag (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Maloney
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Special user
Newfoundland, Canada
709 Posts

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...I don't want to go there.

What does santa's elves do after Christmas?
The Magic and Illusion of Jordan Maloney
"Experience the Unexplainable"

www.jordanmaloney.com

Go check it out!
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

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They went back to busking till Santa calls them again.

What did the magician do during valentine's day?
Sixten
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Inner circle
Floral Park, NY, U.S.A.
4394 Posts

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He went looking for work in "The 'Heart' of the City".

Why did the magician fail to make his 4 estimated tax payments for 2009?
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20498 Posts

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He made no predictions.

What do magicians serve for Christmas dinner?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
Sixten
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Inner circle
Floral Park, NY, U.S.A.
4394 Posts

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Their favorite dish, "Hare Under Glass".

Why did the magician's assistant, while performing, slap the magician across the face?
MikeHMagic
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Inner circle
1007 Posts

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He forgot his safety word

Why does Santa (if that is his "real" name) have so many "alias"?
Mike "Gus" Harvatt
"Bullwinkle that trick never works."
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20498 Posts

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With all those kids he must have a woman in every port.

When washed, how long does it take Santa's suit to dry at the North Pole?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Quote:
On 2009-12-23 19:28, MikeHMagic wrote:
He forgot his safety word


(Bdsm magicians!!! More than I ever wanted to know!)

It took his suit about 4 seconds to freeze dry.

What happens to Santa when Mrs. Claus forgets to take him out of the suit when she hangs it out to dry?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Bob Sanders
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Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20498 Posts

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He sings "It's going to be a Blue Christmas..."

How tall would Santa be without those boots?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Seeing how he is really a Texan and rides high in the saddle, it is hard to say.

What is Santa going to leave in Bob's sock this year?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20498 Posts

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It would have been a lump of coal but Mr. Peabody's train hauled it all away.

When Santa gets to Texas, does he talk slower to the deer?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Naw he exchanges them fer longhorns at the border.

Why do people think sitting around staring at a dead tree and eating candy out of a sock is celebrating?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Bob Sanders
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Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20498 Posts

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After listening to them sing, anything is better.

What do cows think of Egg Nog?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Too much egg, not enough nog. Other than that it is moolicious.

How do you get eggnog out of a chicken?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17047 Posts

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Hennything is possible..

Why did the magician sing carols on xmas eve?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Bob Sanders
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Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20498 Posts

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Being allowed to do that was his Christmas gift from others.

Did magic get the Lean from politicians or reading italics?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

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I think it is the politicians.

Why did one of the politician become a magician?
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20498 Posts

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He was too lazy to work and too nervous to steal.

Why is grave digging going to become such a big industry in the USA?
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17047 Posts

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Because more people like to be on skeleton crews..

Why did the magician do a show in the cemetery?...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

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Because his act had been dead for years.

How much snow must there be on the ground before magicians will stop doing the snowstorm in their act?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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