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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Danger above, beware of falling cows (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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balducci
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Nov 06, 2007 02:16 PM
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

MANSON, Wash. – Charles and Linda Everson were driving back to their hotel when their minivan was struck by a falling object – a 270-kilogram cow.

The Eversons were unhurt but the cow, which had fallen off a cliff, had to be euthanized.

The year-old cow fell about 60 metres from the cliff and landed on the hood of the couple's minivan, causing heavy damage.

A Chelan County fire chief, Arnold Baker, said the couple missed being killed by a matter of centimetres in the accident Sunday on a highway near Manson.

The Eversons, visiting the area from their home in Westland, Mich., to celebrate their first wedding anniversary, were checked at Lake Chelan Community Hospital as a precaution.

Everson, 49, said he didn't see the cow falling and didn't know what happened until afterward.

He said he kept repeating: "I don't believe this. I don't believe this."
Make America Great Again! - Trump in 2020 ... "We're a capitalistic society. I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. They're not going to bail me out. I've been on welfare and food stamps. Did anyone help me? No." - Craig T. Nelson, actor.
Corona Smith
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Nov 05, 2007 05:33 PM
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
London, UK. – A cow strolled into the Houses of Parliament this morning dressed as Guy Fawkes, security services neutralised the cow before realising it was of the pantomime variety, and was in fact delivering a petition from the Actors Guild who were protesting recent rises in Bus Fares to the seaside. Prime Minister Gordon Brown laughed when he realised the mistake and promised to provide the Actors Guild with skateboards.
Rupert Bair
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Jan 05, 1988
The Scarlet times.
Manchester, UK. England.

Not very often you get to see a cow fall from more than a height of a meter due to the new licensing laws that we have recently had to obey. In a recent rebellion led by farmer John Stiles of Manchester where he dropped the cows from from a height of 1.2m all the way up to 1.5m. Three other farmers who don't wish to be named went as high as 1.9m. Onlookers where deeply shocked and disgusted as one person had this to say "I'm deeply shocked and disgusted." The R.S.P.C.A where quickly prompted, to which they used speaker phones and silly string to stop the MAD farmers from dropping the cows. After one hour of reasoning with them and meeting there demands of Shepard's pie and a pint of speckled hen, the cruel cow dropping came to a halt.



Sorry its from a few years ago but its one of my favorite cow falling stories I have in my file.
Rupert Bair
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I don't know why but the full story is more captivating, more thrilling more meaty and more corny...here we go...

Cow falls onto Westland couple's minivan in Washington

November 6, 2007

When a 600-pound cow tumbles 200 feet off a cliff on to your minivan, you aren’t really thinking about auto insurance.

At least Charles Everson Jr. wasn’t.

“I’m just glad to be alive,” the 49-year-old chauffeur from Westland said from his hotel Tuesday in Manson, Wash. “It’s raining cows out here, man.”

Everson and his wife Linda, 39, were in Washington celebrating their first wedding anniversary when the 1-year-old rodeo stock cow landed on the hood of their 2006 Buick Terraza. The couple had just left a nearby church service and were traveling along Highway 150, near Rocky Point on Lake Chelan, about a mile east of Manson.

“I saw something hit and heard a ‘Wham!’ It happened so fast,” Charles Everson said. “I actually thought it was a deer.”

Miraculously, Everson kept driving.

“All of the sudden I’m looking at it, and I tell my wife, ‘It’s a cow,’.” he said. “I kept saying: ‘I don’t believe it.’ I must have said that 20 or 30 times.”

Everson pulled over about a mile down the road. The minivan had extensive damage to the hood.

“I wasn’t really thinking clearly and then I realized that I better pull over,” he said.

Rescue crews took the couple to Lake Chelan Community Hospital for precautionary reasons. On Tuesday, Everson said he and his wife were fine.

“It was just a matter of inches,” he said.

Sgt. Mike Harris of the Chelan County Sheriff’s Office said Tuesday the animal, which had to be euthanized after the crash, was a Professional Bull Rider-registered cow.

“It was bred for rodeo,” Harris said. “It was not your normal cow in a field.”

A breeder had previously reported the cow missing, Harris said.

Everson said the breeder was extremely apologetic.

“He called me and said it had escaped from his ranch about a month ago,” Charles Everson said. “He really felt bad.”

Now, the couple is trying to figure out a way to get back to the Detroit-area. They had driven the Buick out west last week.

“We came out here for relaxation, a quiet time,” Everson said while laughing. “You could say this doesn’t happen every day.”
Corona Smith
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Nov 05, 1973 25:32 PM
THE ASSOCIATED DAIRY
London, UK. – Science and Technology: Are Cows Intelligent? Most people think cows are pretty stupid. Not so. Scientists from the University of Lincolnshire and Cumberland have managed to teach 3 Fresians from Bolton how to speak Chinese. They claim that 2 of the cows can now quote the 'Gateless Gate' verbatim. When asked why the cows were not taught to speak English instead, Dr. Ludolus replied that due to the peculiarity of the cows epiglottis the Germanic languages were simply too complex, "Besides," he said, "In 20 years time we will all be Chinese anyway and the Cows will have moved to the moon". Diplomats at the British embassy in Beijing were yesterday, said to be concerned about the recent Bovine developments.



(This one goes even further back, its amazing what you find when you dig around a bit, that clipping fell out of my Bible which funnily enough was made in China.)
Rupert Bair
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Awwhhhhh! I forgot all about this story! How wrong where they in 1973 thinking we'd all be Chinese!

Apparentley no Chinese Speaking cows from England will be allowed at the Olympics.
MagicSanta
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Last night my wife and I celebrated Guy Fawkes day with gusto!

Speaking of cows I realized that I don't know anything about them. I was driving the wife to the casino, you know, for Guy Fawkes Day, and on my one way out of town road a gathering of wild cows had taken over the roadway. I honked at them but they just looked at me and the one with horns got rather angry looking. They moved off after a few minutes after ignoring my yells of 'yahoo' and "giddy up". I ask, how do you get cows to move off the freakin' road? I'm use to wild horses but these cows are stubborn.
Corona Smith
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San Francisco Chronicle
20 dairy cows tumble from cliff in Marin
All but 3 merely 'dazed and confused' after fall

Chuck Squatriglia, Chronicle Staff Writer

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Twenty Holstein dairy cows grazing in the green hills of Marin County apparently got spooked late Wednesday morning and ran straight off a cliff, tumbling 50 feet down a steep hillside as stunned motorists looked on.

Miraculously, all but two survived.

Witnesses reported seeing the heifers tumble tail over tea kettle down the the steep hillside before landing in a heap on Lucas Valley Road just west of Skywalker Ranch at about 11 a.m.

Authorities were at a loss to explain what might have caused the stampede but surmised something -- most likely a rattlesnake or a predator of some sort -- frightened one of the cows. The rest of the herd, they assume, simply followed her over the cliff.

"We really don't know what happened," said John Reese, spokesman for the Marin Humane Society. "It's not like cows to venture into areas that are unstable. They aren't creatures that are prone to take risks."

Two cows broke their backs in the fall, prompting a sheriff's deputy -- at the behest of the rancher and the Humane Society -- to "dispatch" them with a shotgun, said Sgt. Doug Pittman, sheriff's office spokesman. Another was severely injured, but the others escaped injury.

Dairy cows are as common in West Marin as sailboats on the bay, and motorists hardly pay them any mind -- except when they're falling from the sky.

One motorist sped ahead, presumably for help, and stopped Deputy Stephen Debrunner, who just happened to be patrolling the area.

"The motorist said, 'There's cows dropping on the road up ahead,' " Pittman said. "At first the deputy thought, 'Yeah, right.' But then another car came up and said the same thing."

Debrunner hopped back in his cruiser and sped ahead to find "several cows dazed and confused aimlessly walking along the road," Pittman said.

The animals were quickly herded up and returned to their owners at Silveira Ranch, a family operation that has been raising dairy cows in Marin County for more than 100 years.

"This was something that I hadn't, in all my years, heard happen," said Lorraine Silveira. "They do go through fences and do fall in a ditch, but nothing like this. There are very heavy trees at the edge, and that's probably what fooled them. They probably thought there was more land there at the edge."
Rupert Bair
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Memo intercepted from MI5.

Terrorists are using cow suits to infiltrate our cows. Look out for the ones that stand upwards and have four eyes. Picture attached.

http://www.funwarehouse.co.uk/acatalog/c......5225.jpg
Corona Smith
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Oh dear, and it looks like they are using explosive udders!!!
kregg
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Holy cow!
POOF!
Corona Smith
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Nov 05, 2059 25:00 AM
THE ASSOCIATED DAIRY
A couple of years back, the dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler were recovered off the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their ship. Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. They claimed that a cow, falling out of the clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering its hull and sinking the vessel within minutes.
They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield. They forced the cow into the plane's hold and hastily departed for home. Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet.
Rupert Bair
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How'd you get this futurist news?? Its great....you could be the next phoneamum.
Corona Smith
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There is no time.
Rupert Bair
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Ah I see its from the future past.
Corona Smith
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But I did hear if you drink Cows saliva you can transcend your mortal temporal constraints.
Rupert Bair
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Theres a cow in my back garden waving at me...what should I do?
Corona Smith
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Sing Teddy Bears picnic, if it joins in, its one of ours, if he doesn't know the words, dial 999.
balducci
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Corona, this thread really seems to have caught your fancy! You seem to know quite a bit about cows.
Make America Great Again! - Trump in 2020 ... "We're a capitalistic society. I go into business, I don't make it, I go bankrupt. They're not going to bail me out. I've been on welfare and food stamps. Did anyone help me? No." - Craig T. Nelson, actor.
Rupert Bair
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He sang it back but in a weird language...it could be cow talk but I'm not sure.
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