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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Danger above, beware of falling cows (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Corona Smith
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Quote:
On 2007-11-06 22:10, balducci wrote:
Corona, this thread really seems to have caught your fancy! You seem to know quite a bit about cows.


It just so happens that Matt and I are the Uk's foremost experts on the subject, if not the world's.

Corona.
Rupert Bair
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Well Actually, I don't like to boast but I'm the 2nd. Corona is the foremost expert because he actually spent 3 months living with a real cow, he knows them inside out and has taken a real fancy to the Lincoln red's. I on the other hand have been studying cows from the top of an electric fence in Ormskirk. Today I have discovered that cows like grass...lots of grass in fact.

You can ask us any questions on anything about cows, and we can answer it.

We have just finished a children's pop up book on how cows make milk and shoes.
Corona Smith
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And they have tongues like sandpaper!
Rupert Bair
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You saved a bunch on lubrication though.

You can't beat waking up to a cow licking your ear...So Corona says...
MagicSanta
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I saw the cows today, they were walking up a dirt road.
Corona Smith
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This is only the beginning, Matt and I have uncovered a most disturbing plot by the Cows, that is probably what they were discussing when you saw them Santa. I won't say too much right now, but lets just say this and you can draw your own conclusions...

'Weapons of GRASS DESTRUCTION!!!!'


Corona.
Rupert Bair
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We will be holding a crisis cow meeting at 6pm tomorrow in the parish church hall in Leighton Buzzard for all those who wish to attend our annual cow information for the public and others.


The meeting will be kicked off by our local band the "wet raspberries" playing a newly commissioned song "Don't fall on me fat cow, I know your a terrorist" Tea and Coffee and refreshments will be served during the interval with a chance to see little Doug for 40p.

The evening intends to be informational and will make you sh** yourselves whilst entertaining you at the same time.

In the meantime we recommend stop consuming dairy products...the cows will know.

M:C
MagicSanta
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Weapons of Grass Destruction! I'm using it!
Bill Nuvo
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Cows cause global warming. Especially American cows.
Rupert Bair
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They can also warm your bed up as wrote in Clamant Merrill's cow journals.
Corona Smith
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Clamant Merrill's work is good, he spent 7 years in the field, and that is dedication. It is unfortunate that the Cows turned on him like that. His coffin was only 2 inches deep, that is some squishing he received. Of course the Cows claim that it was a tragic accident, but we now have uncontrevertible proof that this was NOT the case. Clamant had discovered their guilty secret, with the aid of a Chinese dictionary (made in Poland), and was about to reveal all to the world. Mooted in his prime, my condolences to his lovely wife and 3 calves...

If you know whats good for you, you'll be in Leighton tomorrow 6 pm sharp!

It is time to stop the talking and act. Its them or us folks!

Corona.
Rupert Bair
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He did provoke them!! 7 years in the field would drive any one nutty. He used to electric shock them to see there responses along with this and threatening to make his discoveries publics, death was an ultimate response and only choice they had, they said in there defensive. Forensics worked out which ones broke his spine and sent three of them to prison. One of them was his own Son's!! The media covered this up at his wifes request. (Bit of juicy gossip from Kurt Magner)

To get more punters to the meeting tomorrow were going to play tonights phoneamum.

Its them or us.

Join the battle at againstthefallingscows.blogspot when we have time.

M:C
Corona Smith
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Matt or whatever your name is, speaking ill of the diseased will not help the cause, I am starting to wonder if you've been got at. We will see tomorrow...Oh yeah and 40p is way too cheap!

Corona.
Rupert Bair
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47p to see little Doug during the interval!

50p for a badge and 50p for a program!

If you want all three its £1.45

Corona will sing you a song for 10p.

We are also raising money for a Fabergé cow egg.

Raising awareness of the cows, not the other way round.
Corona Smith
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47p is better...
coupcoupdaddy
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Right after we joined MINDY, we followed a report that an old woman had reported to the state police that a cow had landed on her farm and had stolen a cow. The investigating trooper asked, "How did you know it was a UFO, ma'am?" She replied, "It had UFO written on the side." The trooper asked, "Why would a UFO steal your cow?" "Well, it had IGA written on the other side," she said.
foreign correspondent, z and lt



inner being worker
Corona Smith
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Obviously a rescue operation, taking it back to the Cow base on the moon. Are you sure it was a cow driving? What is IGA?
Rupert Bair
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HA! I don't get it, but can I laugh anyway?
Rupert Bair
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Corona I've had 30000 of these printed off what do you think?

http://a237.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/ima......b78c.gif
Rupert Bair
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I think coup's post made it clear cows are actually aliens...all my research is bo**ocks
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