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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Danger above, beware of falling cows (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Rupert Bair
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P.s in the flyer I spelt awareness wrong on purpose to create more atmosphere.
coupcoupdaddy
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The farmers and the cowmen should be friends.
foreign correspondent, z and lt



inner being worker
Rupert Bair
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Are you coming to our meeting?
Corona Smith
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Nice flyer Matt! Glad to see the 'etch a sketch' I got you for Cow egg day is finally being put to good use, do you think 30,0000000 will be enough? The flyers jollity belies the seriousness of the situation which I think is good as we don't want to cause mass panic, just yet.

Another Cow just landed in a skip outside. the whole house shook so it must have been one of the lunar jumpers (or was it an outcast?). There was a little dog laughing and some cutlery high tailing down the street.

I will send you the video.
Rupert Bair
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To: Matt@mattcolman.co.uk
From MOD.Gov@gov.co.uk

Dear Mr Colman,

We have been studying your cow research for a little while now, and we cannon stress enough that its all in your head. Cows are cows and people are people and terrorists..well...

All we can say is there is no threats to you or your country please dismiss everything you've found so far, and we strongly recommend that you hand over all your notes to us.

The flyers are lovely though, but we believe there will be no need for "cow awareness" just make it a great night of entertainment. You do not want to cause mass panic - based on rumors do you?

Yours Sincerely,
Pat Murdock.
Head of P.A.T.C (people against terrorist cows)
MOD
Corona Smith
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Notice the freudian slip in the first sentence?

We will have to watch out for infiltrators. Just making my pack up now.
Rupert Bair
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Maybe it was nlp....I really want to shoot cows with a cannon now.

I think your right...we are safe...for now.
Corona Smith
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Remember, the first casualty is always truth.

They are still pedaling that old 'Mad Cow' nonsense to the public at large. Tomorrow we can finally reveal the truth to the world!

Moo propaganda:

Keeping Cows Safe From Terrorism
Noah Shachtman ASSOCIATED DAIRIES 12.15.03 |2:00 AM

Al-Qaida is after our cows.

That's the concern of the Department of Homeland Security, which announced Friday a $33 million plan for a pair of academic centers to combat possible terrorist attacks on America's livestock and food supply.

The department contends that so-called "agroterrorism" is a "top priority for university research." But outside homeland security and biological defense circles, experts are deeply divided over how realistic the threat actually is.

Some see America's farms as tempting morsels for evildoers looking to sow economic chaos. Others think terrorists are much more likely to stick to their usual diet of exploding trucks, shoulder-fired missiles and suicide bombs.

"I'm not sure how attractive this is to the bad guy," said Phil Anderson, a homeland security analyst at the Center for Strategic & International Studies. "He likes body bags, explosions, things that look good on CNN. So I'm not that worried about the food chain."

On Friday, the Department of Homeland Security said it intends to set up two university-run research hubs, or "centers of excellence," for food-chain defense. One will spend $15 million over three years studying "post-harvest food protection and defense," focusing on how to keep food from being poisoned. The other, with a slightly larger, $18 million budget, will examine "foreign animal and zoonotic disease defense," or how to keep farm animals safe.

Top priorities will include developing a better understanding of how animal pathogens spread and improving animal disease detection techniques, according to the Department of Homeland Defense's announcement about the centers. The department will decide in February which universities qualify for the research grants.
Rupert Bair
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Theres been a serious development...all parties interested need to download the flyer and come tomorrow...its very serious.
Corona Smith
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Its them or us!
Rupert Bair
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It better not be us!

Corona has been keeping a close eye on the children in the local primary schools where he noticed the kids where given free milk!!!

Side effects to drinking the milk

. The home bell
. White stains on clothing
. Angry Cows
. Angry Corona (they didn't offer him any)

+ much more...come along and bring your Granny, tomorrow night at the parish hall Leighton 6pm.

Its them or us!
Corona Smith
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Feeding a child on Cow milk will also turn them from small humans into one ton bovines in a matter of months!

Its US or them!
Fauna Gob
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I told you! GOOD GOD I TOLD YOU!

Thank you Corona for pointing me in the direction of the thread, apologies for not jumping in sooner, I was away at a C.R.A.P (Cows Really Are Posion) meeting in Ohio (The Milk State) this weekend.

Thank god we have two of the Leading anti-cow freedom fighters in this very thread, Matt and Corona I salute you, but this needs to be taken a step further, forget your rable rousing and 'Awareness Meetings' we need to fight back at the small groups of vigilante fresians before they get the Aberdeen Anguses on there side, once that happens, we are all doomed.

People say Cows are DUMB? It's said that 1 million monkeys with 1 million typewriters and 1 million years could write the works of shakespeare, 4 cows with a Commadore 64 and 2 and a half months managed to knock out the entire cataloge of mills and boon books back in 1997, they are using the royalties to fund there army of hate.

Proffesor Fauna
C.R.A.P
I'm the hiphopapotamus, my rhymes are bottomless, sounds a little preposterous, spewing from my esophagus.
But, my ryhmes are so potent that during this small segment, I've made all the women in the last three threads pregnant.
Corona Smith
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Yep. Imagine what they could do with an Apple Mac! and yes... you guessed it, they have those now, and broadband, and sat nav, and really big cars, that run on grass. Some of them have even taken to writing propagandist poetry!!!

Here's one I found earlier, nestled between a cow egg and a tuft of grass in a local cemetary:

"Be humble
for you are made of dung.
Be noble
for you are made of stars."

-A. Cow.

Thanks for the kind words Professor, we are rejuvenated by your energy, especially after only 5 people turned up at the Parish Church this evening, one was the caretaker (to lock up) and the others were Matt and I and a couple who stayed very close all evening, didn't say much and had shoes on shaped like hooves. We did rather well on the hookaduck though!

Your discoveries were received with great enthusiasm though, we watched the whole 8 DVD box set, and will be sending off our takings to C.R.A.P in the next few days, after we've counted it.

Corona.
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