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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Looking out for our own » » I need..... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

leapinglizards
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Honestly, I don't know what I need. Hugs? Kind words? Something....

My spouse has battled with mental illness for a long time, and has bascially given up and given in to it.

I have helped in the battle, but I am tired, and now alone with it.

I am sure in many ways, everything will be better now, and they are with people that will keep them safe but for many complex reasons our relationship such as it is, is basically over and I find myself sitting here days before Christmas wondering what to do...

I don't remember how to cook for one, the bed is to big, the cats and the dogs are looking at me asking where their other parent is.

I have a feeling of relief knowing that tomorrow I won't have to wonder what I may have to deal with that day, yet, as those who have been care givers probably can relate to- 90% of the things I used to have to think about are now gone.

I have to try and remember how to live without always worrying about someone else.

At the very moment- My house feels far too big.
Leaping Lizards!!! Who knew it was possible.
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The Drake
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Unfamiliar territory always seems strange. Remember that first day in school? That first time you asked a girl for a date? That first time you took a car onto a busy highway after getting your license?

You survived then and that was without all the years of experience you now have. You were only a kid then and now you are a man. If you had the strength to get through helping someone with an illness then you have the strength to see your way through your new life that now begins.

The first step is to understand you'll be alright and then when the time is right you can start to enjoy your new life.

If you find yourself going stir crazy then get out and do something to keep yourself busy. Do some charity work or get involved helping someone else a bit. This may bridge the gap that lays between you and your new life of freedom. Don't look back..only ahead.

All my best,

Tim
Stevethomas
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Southern U.S.A.
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Timothy,

You're a very wise man. We can ALL read your words and learn something from them.

Lizards, keep that good head on your shoulders. Even if we all seem like strangers, we're all here for our friends, even our long-distance friends like you. Merry Christmas!

Steve Thomas
Father Photius
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You are going through the grief process. This is very normal. A grief support group might help you, or talk to a minister, priest, rabbi, or counselor who works with grief therapy. It will help you through the process.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Piers
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Thinking of you - really and truly.
Piers.
Smile



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leapinglizards
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Thank you everyone...

I send a periodic E mail newsletter from my hypnosis web site, and shared the whole long story there. If you want to read the whole story it is there: But it's LONG http://www.hypnodean.com/openminds.htm

If you are in to positive thinking, The Secret, law of attraction and such, there is something at the end you might enjoy. If you're NOT into those things, it will just weird you out.
Leaping Lizards!!! Who knew it was possible.
<BR>
<BR>www.LeapingLizardsMagic.com
Jay Crowe
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I know you don't know me, but If you ever need to talk just drop me a line. The true magic is in friendship and in helping others.

Have a merry christmas and take care of yourself.
leapinglizards
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Thank you Jay... I have been overwhelmed in a good way by the public and private support from my Online friends!
Leaping Lizards!!! Who knew it was possible.
<BR>
<BR>www.LeapingLizardsMagic.com
RS1963
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Tough thing to go thru My ex wife had simalar problems. She has not had to be put in a hopsital since she was younger but while we were married there were some trying times. Unfourtunatly we are no longer married due to the problems but still remain friends.

It's not an easy road to travel but you will make it. Hang in there things will get better.
Justin Style
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I've been performing in psych centers here in NYC for more than twenty years. I have seen it all? and my heart goes out to you. I wish you and your family all the best and hope something good happens. You are in my prayers! Sometimes it is very hard to understand why God puts us through such challenges, but just put your faith first and God will take care of the rest...

Good luck and God bless you!

Justin Style
Chrystal
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Canada/France
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Hi,

Just wanted to let your know you're in my thoughts. It's been about a month since you posted. Just wondering how you've been doing?

Chrystal
JesterMan
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Maryland, USA
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Hi, If you are not already familiar with this group, try visiting http://www.namigo.org . It is a group of people who live what you have dealt with every day. Look under "support".

I did an internship with this organization in Baltimore while in grad school. I have seen the issues regarding life with someone with these issues from the 'professional' side, and from spending a lot of time with a very good friend whose mother was severely impacted by mental illness. For all the good thoughts and words friends and professionals might provide, there is something great about sharing with folks who know EXACTLY what your life is/was like.

J-Man
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Dr Spektor
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Dean, I wish you well. I am sorry to hear you go through such a situation. I am not sure of your spouse's illness's nature but it often is the illness itself that makes people give up hope. Give me a shout if you ever never any advice on navigating the mental health system to get supports for you or your loved ones.
"They are lean and athirst!!!!"
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