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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Lines/Gags to use for a Roast (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

The Donster
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Anyone have any Jokes or Gags that Could be used for a Roast. we've covered all types of gags and jokes here but I never seen any for a roast.
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
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Roasts most often involve a gag or line that in some way gigs the honoree or someone else on the dais. Go look at the video's of the old Dean Martin celebrity roasts and you will find tons of them. I was always fond of Red Button's "never got a dinner" routines and gags.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
The Donster
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Come on People We Need Some HELP Here. I'll like to use some current stuff. plus I don't want to buy the Dean Martin Roast DVDS just to get some insults. I'll like them to be funny but not to insulting so that it can be done for a Family show as well.
THEGUY26 (Will Swanson)
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I'd really like to see a Criss Angel roast.
The Donster
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Or do you mean Roast Criss Angel Smile
Father Photius
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Let's don't roast Criss, just cook his goose a little.
So why are we giving this man a dinner, when some of the greatest people in the world NEVER GOT A DINNER?
Dolly Parton, who once said to Mrs. Olson "It's true, they are mountain grown"
NEVER GOT A DINNER
Mark Wilson, who once said to Nani Darnell "You think there is any magic in our marriage?" NEVER GOT A DINNER
Lois Lane who once said to Superman "Super powers, super smowers, you can't remember to put the seat down?" NEVER GOT A DINNER
Or
Let me tell you how I met our guest of honor N.N., I was walking around Las Vegas one day and put my hand in my pocket to get some change and shook hands with him.
This man stands for integrity. This man stands for honor. This man stands about half way between me and the TV set every time there is a big play on the game!
Come on, most of the roast jokes are dependent on who is being roasted and who is roasting him.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
The Donster
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Photius your on the Right Track. these are just Gags or Jokes that can be done at a Roast or something similar and something New to this part of the Café.
alondon
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The Prarie Home companion joke book is great
harris
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Harris Deutsch
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I think things that go with the Roastee are going to be more appreciated than generic stuff. Can you give us something about the persons physical, mental, job, pet saying, interest, ability or lack of ability in any areas?


That will help.

Harris
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
Doug Higley
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1942 - 2022
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Tell me who and I'll tell you what...

When in doubt there is always the Aristocrats. Smile
Higley's Giant Flea Pocket Zibit
ERIC
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You know, the commercial tells us that after taking the pill, it lasts for four hours you should contact a doctor....I'm saying that if it lasts for four hours for you, you should call Guinness...

or....

Call your doctor only if HE is a SHE! After all, what are you taking it for?


Not family fare, but roasting material.
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