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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Darwin Awards 2007 Announced - We missed the List! (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20518 Posts

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Yes, it is again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

The glorious Winner for 2007 is:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be Robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

Now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- Cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus Driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be Transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. A Texas teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious Head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train Before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15.

7. Seems an Arkansas man wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he would just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in; the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor Michigan News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


******THE 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesperson said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in a very long time.

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

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Sal Amangka
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Special user
Manila, Philippines
712 Posts

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Bob,

Thanks for sharing the list! It really made me laugh!

Chubster
Salamangka in Filipino means "Magic"
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magic4u02
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Eternal Order
Philadelphia, PA
15111 Posts

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Totally made my day Bob. Thanks. Just goes to show you that you do not have to have much brains to be a crook. lol

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Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17198 Posts

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LOL, stupid is as stupid does. They can cure ugly, but we got no cure for stupid.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Foxbiz
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Loyal user
Atlanta
208 Posts

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Thanks Bob... I love these Darwin stories.

My favorite is still the one involving a lawn chair, balloons and "flying"... Too long to tell here, but quite a visual.

Lynn Fox
NJJ
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Inner circle
6439 Posts

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I've got off Darwin since I found out most are made up or urban legends. For example, the stealing fuel from a spetic tank is as old as the hills!

http://www.snopes.com
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20518 Posts

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I lived for a time near Selma, Alabama. Of course there is really no credible news-gathering organization there, for all of the right reasons, but these things were just another day at the office in Selma. The slogan there is "Selma is History". They just don't know how true that is! Backwards would be a giant step forward.

Evolution is not all forward motion.
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
Larry Bean
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Inner circle
I'm digging enough holes for
2016 Posts

Profile of Larry Bean
I would say that they were all dumber than a box of hammers, but I've got a few hammers that I know are smarter than some of those guys. Thanks for the post Bob!
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