HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE SOUTH

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba,
Me, Big Jim, Duke and Slim went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.

"Cooter"

Hi Bob,

That's funny - The only difference in my note would be that the Pit Bull had rabies or worse yet - AIDS!

Hello Larry!

Well you know that in Alabama it's the vet that gets the rabies shot.

You know, it just seems to me that with cards that large you wouldn't need your glasses.

I plan to see you folks in Eureka Springs at the end of March.

Bob Sanders
Magic By Sander