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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Selma, Alabama --- Science (or lack of it) at work? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20518 Posts

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The following humorous article is posted on a local computer bulletin board restricted to comments about the local leadership, or lack of, in the governance of the City of Selma, Alabama. The mayor of Selma since 2000 is James Perkins. (STJ is the local newspaper the Selma Times Journal.)


PERKIMENTIUM: NEW CHEMICAL ELEMENT DISCOVERED
12-30-07

The recent missing money, rampant crime and division in Selma are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major recent institution, STJ, has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Perkimentium. Perkimentium (Pv) has one major neutron, 14 assistant neutrons, 125 deputy neutrons and 220 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 360.

These 360 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of incompetent-like particles called peons.

Since Perkimentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected because it impedes every progressive action with which it comes in contact. A small amount of Perkimentium can cause an action which should be beneficial to become an agent of division.

Perkimentium has a life of 8 years. It decays with time and tries to undergo a reorganization in which assistant neutrons and deputy assistant neutrons change places. In fact, Pv’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron production leads some scientists to believe that Perkimentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration in a city government. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with massive amount of money, Perkimentium becomes Incompetentium.. an element that radiates just as much corruption as Perkimentium, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

http://www.angelfire.com/un/selma/moron.html is the source.

Supporting materials are available at the same site. Enjoy the laugh. Then remember that you are still funding this.
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17198 Posts

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Scares the daylights out of you to figure the atomic mass and composition of Congresium!
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
mrunge
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Inner circle
Charleston, SC
3717 Posts

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Yep...pretty darn scary to think about!

Mark. Smile
Bob Sanders
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Grammar Supervisor
Magic Valley Ranch, Clanton, Alabama
20518 Posts

Profile of Bob Sanders
Have you ever observed "smart" people buying dead weight to lift and get more fit?

Fitness?

Bob
Bob Sanders

Magic By Sander / The Amazed Wiz

AmazedWiz@Yahoo.com
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Selma, Alabama --- Science (or lack of it) at work? (0 Likes)
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