The Magic Caf
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Funny How to know if your a magician (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
MagicTobe
View Profile
Loyal user
259 Posts

Profile of MagicTobe
YOU KNOW THAT YOU’RE A MAGICIAN WHEN...

You bottom deal when playing Go Fish.

You carry 6 decks on you.

You have nightmares about hecklers.

You have your local magic shop on speed dial.

It is hard for you to say the numbers 1, 11, 12, 13, and 14 but you CAN say Ace, Jack, Queen, and King.

The only unbent forks in your house are plastic.

You sneeze and immediately produce a Kleenex.

You get emotional when shuffling a new deck.

You are scared to invite any layman friends over in fear of them seeing one of your gimmicks that are lying around.

You can't find one of your cards, and it's in a guy's pocket across the room

You spend $20 for a half dollar

A Bike to you is a deck of cards

All your bottles of water have the caps inside the bottle

Your left hand is constantly in a mechanics grip, even without cards

You have more decks of cards than you've had hot dinners

You perform one handed cuts that you can't remember doing

You tenkai palm a pop tart

You have an ace of spades taped to the back window of your car.

You’re looking for your cards on the ceiling at the mall.

You can't go out in public without being asked to Levitate.

All your pocket change is bent.

Your friends watch their forks as they eat in front of you.

You always have flash paper in your wallet.

You've opened a can of soup and found someone's signed dollar.

The term "cups and balls" doesn't make you snicker

You have a chip in your tooth from biting the wrong quarter

Everything you see makes you think of how to vanish, palm or produce it

You never throw old decks away because "I can make something out of it"

You decide what clothes to buy based on how many props you can carry

You fear metal detectors.

You watch intently whenever there's someone playing cards in a film, just to see if they're using a Bicycle deck

You take out a deck of cards and all your friends run out of the room, screaming.

You always walk around with three different decks of cards in your pockets because each one is set up for a different trick.

You pull the four aces out of the deck, only to lose them back into the deck, just so you can find them again!

Instead of just spreading four cards and showing that there are four – you count them!

You refer to everyday objects as "ordinary".

You have more than a dozen open decks of cards and cartons of unopened ones.

You accidentally do a double while playing "Go Fish!”

You are the only one that can have fun with a Blank Deck.

Every coin that you receive gets "accidentally" palmed.

You have 101 retorts for the question "How did you do that?"

You have a dog named "Houdini".

Someone asks you for your card you give them the Ace of Spades.

No one will play cards with you.

The oldest deck of cards in use in your possession was purchased a week ago and you're ready to toss it.

The thought of bending or writing on a playing card doesn't throw you for a loop anymore.

It matters to you how someone shuffles your deck.

You back-palm your movie ticket and produce it out of thin air.

Someone asks for a piece of rope, and you pull one from your pocket.

You pay more for blank cards than those that are printed

When you play the game "cheat" YOU ACTUALLY CHEAT!

All your coins are signed by other people.

You shuffle a deck of cards and none of them change order.

After viewing magic on TV, everyone in the room looks at you asks, "How'd they do that?" And, all you do is smile and say, "It's really easy if you think about it, but magicians can tell." And you're really thinking "How the heck did they do that?"

You can say with full honesty that you handle a bike better than Lance Armstrong.

You shake a persons hand with your electric touch on without noticing.

Instead of asking someone for the time, you just steal their watch.

And lastly,

Asked to shuffle the cards, you have to stop and think how to do a real shuffle
danielellis_5
View Profile
Loyal user
Sheffield
211 Posts

Profile of danielellis_5
These sort of things have been posted hundreds of times before but still make me laugh everytime.

Thanks
Dan
Best quote from a spectator"I know how he did that,it was sleight of hand"(spectator then sits back looking pleased with himself)
The Amazing Noobini
View Profile
Inner circle
Oslo, Norway
1658 Posts

Profile of The Amazing Noobini
Great stuff! I'm guilty of so many of these. "You watch intently whenever there's someone playing cards in a film, just to see if they're using a Bicycle deck"... I DO! It's so embarrassing. Lol

"You spend $20 for a half dollar" may be the funniest one.
"Talk about melodrama... and being born in the wrong part of the world." (Raf Robert)
"You, my friend, have a lot to learn." (S. Youell)
"Nonsensical Raving of a lunatic mind..." (Larry)
lynnef
View Profile
Inner circle
1395 Posts

Profile of lynnef
And if you're married, your spouse has picked a thousand cards. And if he/she is in a bad mood, they pick the top one!
T. Joseph O'Malley
View Profile
Inner circle
Canada
1937 Posts

Profile of T. Joseph O'Malley
CARD magician. If you're a CARD magician...
tjo'
magico563
View Profile
Veteran user
UK, sheffield.
381 Posts

Profile of magico563
The one that made me laff the most was 'You back-palm your movie ticket and produce it out of thin air', its so true!!!

Thanks, magico563:-)
BrianMillerMagic
View Profile
Inner circle
CT
2050 Posts

Profile of BrianMillerMagic
I laugh at these lists each and every time I see them. I'm way guilty of many of these. "Every coin you receive gets 'accidentally' palmed." Too true.
T. Joseph O'Malley
View Profile
Inner circle
Canada
1937 Posts

Profile of T. Joseph O'Malley
My bad. I missed the coin/cups and balls references in there. Carry on.
tjo'
Magic Marine
View Profile
Loyal user
220 Posts

Profile of Magic Marine
This is somebody else's line, but I'll add it anyway:
When somebody says "Kennedy Center" you don't think about the performing arts building in Washington.
Larry Davidson
View Profile
Inner circle
Boynton Beach, FL
5270 Posts

Profile of Larry Davidson
As you're standing urinating just before your show, it reminds you that you forgot to pack your breakaway wand.
PMVIVA
View Profile
Elite user
Argentina
460 Posts

Profile of PMVIVA
You are a magician when...

You go shopping with your wife, as she tries on the dresses you are in front of the mirror checking your angles.

You have a full box of gaffed decks, even the ones that you never use and never open, and when you see them you say "ahhh wonderfull, some day I will use them".

You become happy when you get a brand new and shiny coin.
If you have an apple and I have an apple, when we exchange them we both have an apple. If I have an idea and you haven an idea, when we exchange them we both have two ideas.

Supporting the open source community.
andrelimantara
View Profile
Special user
Surabaya, Indonesia
869 Posts

Profile of andrelimantara
That's funny

I found some of the are true

Cheers
Andre
"Good performance comes from good practice, Great performance comes from the heart - Andre Limantara"
ghostpianist
View Profile
Loyal user
274 Posts

Profile of ghostpianist
LOL!
DStachowiak
View Profile
Inner circle
Baltimore, MD
2158 Posts

Profile of DStachowiak
Here's the thread for "You might be a cardman if..." http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......&forum=2
This one promises to be fun since its not limited to just cards.
Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a comb across m' head.
Tablic
View Profile
New user
100 Posts

Profile of Tablic
As with many others, this list never gets old, especially if one is guilty of some of those

mine is the deciding which clothes to buy based on amount of props one can carry... so true, especially when it comes to pants
Ethan the emazing
View Profile
Elite user
anywhere but here USA
454 Posts

Profile of Ethan the emazing
"You shuffle a deck of cards and none of them change order." hahaha, so true.
VcosNJ
View Profile
Inner circle
1180 Posts

Profile of VcosNJ
-You bring cards while in the toilet practicing cuts and shuffles.
-You wear rubberbands on your wrist like bracelets.
RS1963
View Profile
Inner circle
2723 Posts

Profile of RS1963
You go into an antique shop looking for just the right brass bowl.
nexile
View Profile
New user
12 Posts

Profile of nexile
So funny...
Max Krause
View Profile
V.I.P.
I should be creating magic with my
1188 Posts

Profile of Max Krause
You know your a magician when.....

You have 4 different wallets and several keychains or keycases.

You are single and out meeting girls and you look at them to see if they will fit in your magic illusions before you ask them out.

Every nice restaurant you go to you ask to see the manager to see if you can entertain there.

You constantly think of ways to use items around your house for magical purposes.

You have several packs of cigarettes around your house but don't smoke.

You shake your feet to tie your shoes only to untie them again to repeat at a later time.

You shake someones hand and their watch stops.

You have a stack of 1 dollar bills in sequential order just sitting around the house.

Your first aid kit contains a screwdriver, glue stick, scissors, rubber cement, batteries among other things.

You post on the Café regularly.

Your travel schedule necessitates a trip to the local magic shop "NO MATTER WHAT!"

Your favorite authors include Vernon, Jennings, Cervon, Roth, Bertram, Lorayne, Aamar, Tarbell, Bannon, Ackerman, Wonder, Ortiz, Tamariz and Carney among many others.

Everytime you cut open a fruit you find money or playing cards.
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Funny How to know if your a magician (0 Likes)
 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2023 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.04 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL