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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » Favorite Marx Bros. lines (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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landmark
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Groucho: Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor--which is more than she ever did!


Jack Shalom
The Drake
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Get your Tootzy Fruitzy Ice Cream!

Best,

Tim

Day 2
martini
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The line where the woman keeps telling Groucho to hold her closer and he responds with..."Closer? any closer and I'll be in back of you."

They gave us some great movies, I have a row of them all on my shelf that I watch frequently.
All the best
Marty
magicgeorge
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Honk! Make that 2 boiled eggs.

I can see you standing over a hot stove, but I can't see the stove

This would be a better world for children if the parents had to eat the spinach.

I'm going back in the closet where men are empty overcoats

Go, and never darken my towels again.

(All the above are Groucho apart from the honk)

George

P.S. I have them all, too. Even "Love happy" and "Room service". Room service is my least favourite. I like Animal Crackers the best.
The Drake
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Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. What he was doing in my pajamas I'll never know.

Best,

Tim

Day 2
Clock
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"I should have sent it to the Marx Brothers....but who's going to come save you, Junior!"
Grant Carden

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magicgeorge
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Don't you mean "shent" and "shave"?

D2
Al Angello
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I would never join a club that would accept me as a member.

You take the blond, and I'll take the one in the turbin.

Why do you have so many children? Because I love my husband. Well mam I love my cigar, but I take it out once and a while.
Al Angello The Comic Juggler/Magician
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http://home.comcast.net/~juggleral/
"Footprints on your ceiling are almost gone"
Clock
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Quote:
On 2008-03-02 18:49, magicgeorge wrote:
Don't you mean "shent" and "shave"?

D2


Haha... Smile That's Connery's Spellcheck.
Grant Carden

www.fastcompanydvd.com
Stanyon
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If he wants a three minute egg, give it to him in two minutes;

If he wants a two minute egg, give it to him in one minute;

If he wants a one minute egg, give him a chicken and let him work it out!

FWIW

Cheers! Smile
Stanyon

aka Steve Taylor

"Every move a move!"

"If you've enjoyed my performance half as much as I've enjoyed performing for you, then you've enjoyed it twice as much as me!"
nicky
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Either your dead or my watch has stopped!
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Send a dozen roses to Mrs. Hakenbush and write I love on the back of the bill.

And

If we don't rehearse couldn't afford us.
"We are what we pretend to be" Kurt Vonnegut, jr.



Now U C It Now U Don't

Harry Mandel

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Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
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OK, sorry, but when I read this, a line from "International House" which is mostly WC Fields and not the Marx Bros. came to mind. Sorry for the Non Sequitur.

Woman- I just sat on something.
Fields- Lost mine in the stock market.

Day 2
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Groucho - Pick a card.
Woman - (picks a card and holds it while Groucho gets distracted elsewhere.) What should I do with it.
Groucho - Keep it, I have 51 left.
magicgeorge
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I had a pair of non sequiturs once. It was very difficult to trim my hedge.
Father Photius
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Well you go uraguay and I'll go mine

Did anyone ever tell you that you look like the Prince of Wales,not the present Prince of Wales,of course, but one of the old Wales, and when I say Wales I mean Whales, I know a whale when I see one.

The three main form of game inhabiting the African jungle are Moose, Elk, and Knights of Pythias. Now Moose that is big game, why the first day I shot two bucks. And the Elks they come down in the spring to the water hole and you ought to seem them run, what they are looking for is an elk-a-hole.

Then we tried to remove the tusks, but they were too tightly imbedded, of course in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.

Lady's and Gentlemen of the jury, Chicallini may look like and idiot, Chicallini may sound like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. Chicallini really is an idiot.

Chico: Since a when are you a lawyer? Groucho: Since when were you an Italian?

YOu are everything I've ever wanted in a woman, you're young, you're old, you're tall, you're short, you're fat, you're thin, and you got money...you do got money don't you, otherwise we can stop right here.

Just remember my little chickadee, if there were no closets there would be no hooks, and if there were no hooks, there would be no fish, which would suit me just fine.

I have half a mind to join a club and beat you with it.

Groucho: What's the shape of the world?
Chico: I don't a know
Groucho: What are the shape of my cuff links?
Chico: Square
Groucho: No those are my week day cuff links, what are the shape of my Sunday cuff links?
Chico: Round
Groucho: So what's the same of the world?
Chico: Square on weekdays, round on Sundays.

Eureka! Moe Eureka that is,he's the cab driver, I've had him before.

Groucho in respone to an interview question: I don't know, but when I get to heaven I'll find out and drop you a line...well I hope I'll be in a position to drop you line, I'd hate to have to think that I would have to send up a note.

Groucho: How much to drop through an open manhole?
Chico: Just a cover charge.

The Corpusles are a hill dwelling tribe that lives in the alps, of course the Lord alps those who alp themselves.

STOP ME! SOMEBODY STOP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
magicgeorge
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Which film is the cufflink bit from?
ed rhodes
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"Time flies like an arrow."

"Fruit flies like a banana!"
"All the world's a stage, but the play is badly cast!" - Oscar Wilde
Rimbaud
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I love Groucho. My all-time favorite Groucho line isn't from a movie.

Once, when an anti-semitic country club wouldn't let him use the pool, because he was Jewish, he said, "Since my daughter is only half Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?"

Also, once, he was in an elevator with a priest. The priest said, "Groucho, I'd like to thank you for all the pleasure you've brought into the world." Groucho responded "Thank you, Father. And I'd like to thank you for all the pleasure you've taken out of the world."

Dan

Day 3
http://www.DanLaddthehypnotist.com
"Saying 'Everyone is special' is just another way of saying 'No one is.'" --Dash from The Incredibles
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