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Nick Wait
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Inner circle
Lichfield, UK
1043 Posts

Profile of Nick Wait

I have been playing with the idea of using the following for my opening line:

" I'm not going to lie to you guys, but I must admit I'm a little bit nervous. Its alright though cus I've been given a tip to help me deal with my nerves and I am currently imagining you all you wish you hadn't sat on the fron row now fella. Don't worry that's not how I really deal with my nerves, nah, I just get wasted."

I opened with this line infront of magicians, drama students, and it got massive laughs. It plays on the tip for dealing with nerves "Just imagine your audience naked" However, I'm worried about how famous this quote is, ,is it just because of the people I have hung out with, or is it common place among the public. Will tyhey get that line. If they get it, I know I can make that line work, it falls very much within my charachter- my stage persona.

So did you all recognise the reference, did you know of the reference? All did you just think I'm a little bit weird.;p
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Inner circle
The UK, Portsmouth
2580 Posts

Profile of Sealegs
Nick for what it's worth I have heard of the reference you're asking about.

You can always slightly re-word what you say to accommodate anyone that hasn't heard of the reference though.

"I'm not going to lie to you guys I was really worried that I was going to be horribly nervous here tonight. But this afternoon I read an article that said the way to combat nerves is to imagine the audience completely naked. Well I'm doing that right now.... and although I'm happy the nerves have gone.... I can't say I'm enjoying the nausea." (last line delivereed while looking at a bloke sat leaning back)

It's certainly not how I'd open an act but if it works for you that's great.(See my signature below) You might want to prepare yourself for posts of a disapproving nature. Smile

Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
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Carlsbad, CA
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Profile of jocdoc
I have the book. It's called "I can See you Naked" by Ron Hoff.

Interestingly enough, in his revised edition, he sort of dismisses this technique: "Never talk to a naked audience", is his advice. "It's too distracting."

Great book for public speakers.

jeff in san diego
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
J Hanes
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Veteran user
317 Posts

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Want to deal with nerves? Try this:

Imagine yourself naked.

Realize you're not.

Go on with the show with no problems.
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Chicago, IL
935 Posts

Profile of wizardofsorts
Neal's nausea line is at least twice as funny as the original. It keeps with the theme and it points up the nudity humor.

Anyone with a television should know this reference, as its been a gag on almost any sit. com. in the last 20 years.

Edd Fairman, Wizard of Sorts is a corporate magician available for your next trade show, hospitality suite, client luncheon, or company event.
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
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I agree, nausea line is much funnier, esp if you look a bit queezy and start toward someone in the front row.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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Profile of JSBLOOM
I could see why the line never talk, it is too distracting would work well.
First of all, it is funny and not "insulting" in any way.
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Profile of Dynamike
"Good evening. I know what you are thinking right now. Some of you are thinking, MY GOD! HE'S BLACK! -- You should have seen me a few months ago. I tried Michael Jackson's skin bleach for three months. I lost a thousand dollars."

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