The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Help with "unfunny" line. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Rich B.
View Profile
Special user
Philadelphia
632 Posts

Profile of Rich B.
I'm not a naturally funny I guy, but I do inject humor into my performances to attempt to increase the entertainment value. I have to really work at it.

I purchased "Echo" from Wayne Dobson. It's a manuscript for a routine that has you switch places with your assistant. He becomes the magician...you the assistant. You of course prompt him with all the lines through the routine...in which he repeats.

I found some of the lines very funny...some just OK, which I'll replace, and the following in which I need the help:

"You can even perform this trick for kids at Christmas"

"And if you don't have any kids"

"Its too late for Christmas"

The manuscript states that after the last line is delivered, your assistant(acting as the magician)won't be able to repeat this line due to the audience breaking up with laughter.

Not only do I not get this knee slapper...I ran it by at least ten people, in which they all stared at me like I just started growing another head.

Maybe our friends across the pond could help out, as it may be British humor...I'm not sure. Its either that...or I'm just a dope.

Like I said...I have to work at this stuff.

Rich B.
magicgeorge
View Profile
Inner circle
Belfast
4299 Posts

Profile of magicgeorge
Maybe this line only works when Christmas is less than 9 months away...
harris
View Profile
Inner circle
Harris Deutsch
8687 Posts

Profile of harris
Pull out a handful of security tags out of "his jacket" and say...

I get my Christmas Shopping done very early!.

I got a lot of them last year from eBay. They are activated and caused some stores employees to laugh others (won't name store names) to be very angweee.
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
daviaac
View Profile
Veteran user
351 Posts

Profile of daviaac
Not a very funny line at all perhaps something along the lines of if you don't have any kids .... consider yourself a lucky bast**** (probably not suitable if kids around. or what about and if you don't have any kids ... you can have mine (serious face). perhaps not the funniest thing in the world but I hope it helps.

to be honest I'm from accross the pond myself and I cant quite understand the sentence itself to me its not the punchline that should be there, it could be funnier. perhaps you could mention something about how long it takes to save for xmas like ... then you should start saving now (quite funny seeing as though we are months away) to be hoenst people can relate to that

luke
- the secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
Lyndel
View Profile
Inner circle
wrote the theme to the TV show COPS!
1623 Posts

Profile of Lyndel
Going with what George suggested above, perhaps it should read:

"You can even perform this trick for kids at Christmas"

"And if you don't have any kids"

"Its way too late to have any by Christmas"

Still not a knee slapper, but it causes the line to make a bit more sense...


Lyndel
Image
Rich B.
View Profile
Special user
Philadelphia
632 Posts

Profile of Rich B.
Lyndell...Yes!!! That has to be it. Of course not extremely funny...but it could get a chuckle.

It is written the way I wrote it in my post...which is why I couldn't figure it out.

Thanks,

Rich B.
styck13
View Profile
Regular user
165 Posts

Profile of styck13
I personally like, "If you don't have kids..consider yourself lucky" That gave me a little chuckle.
harris
View Profile
Inner circle
Harris Deutsch
8687 Posts

Profile of harris
Something else I would add...

You can perform this trick for Christmas...unless

a. you are Jewish
b. your name is Epstein,Seinfield,or Smith..
c. related to the original joke...

it has to be told less than 9 months away from Xmas....

other wise you won't have the child/baby....

This took several readings of the original to come up with the evaluation.

Of course a joke taken apart can lead to lots of laughs or lead to a flat or deer in the headlights look from your audience members.

Harris "doctor of laughology" deutsch
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
Eric Lott
View Profile
New user
Michigan
85 Posts

Profile of Eric Lott
I was just today re-writing the Echo script to suit my needs a little more specifically. I completely took that set of lines out and replaced them with lines that I think are a little funnier.

If you have Wayne's Unclamped DVD, he has performance footage of Echo. On the DVD it's called Teach. He doesn't use the Christmas line in that performance and the reveal is a little different. It was nice to see him perform it. It made Echo make a lot more sense.
The Donster
View Profile
Inner circle
4817 Posts

Profile of The Donster
How about using the line for kids. I love kids as long as that their not mine and their someplace else.
Father Photius
View Profile
Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
If you don't have any kids...

Then Christmas has already come for you.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
J.Robert
View Profile
Loyal user
Gettysburg, PA
240 Posts

Profile of J.Robert
Ha! I got on here to search for this very topic. I just purchased "ECHO" a few days ago and read that line at least a dozen times. For the sake of completeness, the line "and if you don't have any kids" has a question mark at the end. I thought I was just stupid, that if I actually used the joke for spectators they would find the humor that I couldn't. Thanks for the ideas! I hope this effect is worth the 20 bucks I paid for it!
Sealegs
View Profile
Inner circle
The UK, Portsmouth
2573 Posts

Profile of Sealegs
"You can even perform this trick for kids at Christmas"

"And if you don't have any kids"

"Its too late for Christmas"

An alternative line for the same gag when it's between Jan and May is

"and if you don't have any kids....well you've still got x months to work on that"

Neal
Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
REV BILL
View Profile
Inner circle
Glen Burnie Maryland
1020 Posts

Profile of REV BILL
I know I'm late but here is mine.

"You can even perform this trick for kids at Christmas"

"And if you don't have any kids"

" Want to buy mine?"
Specializing in Family Entertainment,Gospel,Comedy and Educational programs for over 30 years.(Order of Merlin)
dpe666
View Profile
Inner circle
2894 Posts

Profile of dpe666
If you are not naturally funny, maybe you should not try to be funny. Smile
Larry Bean
View Profile
Inner circle
I'm digging enough holes for
2016 Posts

Profile of Larry Bean
"You can even perform this trick for kids at Christmas"

And if performing for baby goats isn't your cup of tea - you can even perform this for small children at Christmas once Meagan's Law is repealed.
Pauldela
View Profile
Special user
U.K
882 Posts

Profile of Pauldela
'Unless your Jewish'

I lol'ed.
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Help with "unfunny" line. (0 Likes)
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2020 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.14 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL