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The Awesome One
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Regular user
Gold Coast, Australia
174 Posts

Profile of The Awesome One
I like the amazing jonothan who says, "there's another thing I can add to the list of sh*t I can't do."

I actually made a fold out list that I keep in my pocket so when I'm doing walkaround I can pull it out and say "no, seriously here's my list" gets a good laugh and now they think it was all part of the act.
Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.
Donald the Average
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17 Posts

Profile of Donald the Average
A couple of lines that have come my way . . . . . After a prop fails to work,- Digustedly "Ebay, £3.60" Or how about when you've dropped something,- "That's the first drop I've had all day."
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Veteran user
Peoria Arizona, USA
378 Posts

Profile of m.ruetz
Mine is similar to DynaMikes: "Hey don't worry, it's part of the act, although it wasn't part of the act last time I did it."
MagicGizmo: Magic Articles, Classifieds, Videos, and more
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Inner circle
Spokane, WA
2551 Posts

Profile of critter
My very favorite line of this type was when Amazing Johnathan said "As a Magician that sucks, but as a comedian it's d*** funny."
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
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Loyal user
Los Angeles
267 Posts

Profile of socalmagic
I sometimes use, "I thought I'd throw that trick in... should've thrown it out!"
Sammy J.
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Inner circle
Castle Rock, Colorado
1785 Posts

Profile of Sammy J.
I messed up performing for the local magic club a month ago. My response was "It worked so much better in front of the mirror". Probably only works for magicians, but it did provide some comic relief.
Sammy J. Teague
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17198 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Wave at audience and say "Ah bu dee, ah bu dee, ah bu dee, ah bu that's all folks" and run off stage like crazy.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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291 Posts

Profile of AaronTheMagician
"Well, that's new..."
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Regular user
Sydney, Australia
166 Posts

Profile of MagicMatthews
"It's all part of the show ... just the part that hasn't been rehearsed."

"I can't wait to see how I get out of this one myself!"

This is not a line, but one of the funniest I saw was from a juggler when he dropped a ball. Two ball boys ran on, one to hand him a new ball and the other to collect the drop.
Don't get even... Get odd!
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Loyal user
255 Posts

Profile of kosmoshiva
Sometimes we have it in a routine for things to 'go wrong on purpose', so my thinking on when things REALLY go wrong, is to try and get in the same frame of mind as when you pretend they have. Um ... I think ...
Don't forget to breathe.
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74 Posts

Profile of MJP
If it's really glaring, stop what your doing and ask the audience to clap, cheer, whistle and whoop it up really big on the count of 3. After they've done so, then say something like, "Don't you feel better about that trick now?" Move on...
Dr. Delusion
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Special user
Eugene, Oregon.
728 Posts

Profile of Dr. Delusion
A line I've used on occasion is, " I guess you really are suppose to read the instructions and practice a trick before you perform it in front of somebody".
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3 Posts

Profile of zebrawood
"you know what we need? ...a bigger wand!"
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Eternal Order
Philadelphia, PA
15111 Posts

Profile of magic4u02
"You know folks.. that is the FIRST time that has EVER happened AGAIN!"

(pause really long and stare at audience and then the prop) "well Mom liked it!"

Kyle Peron

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Regular user
Los Angeles
124 Posts

Profile of ya4davecox
I carried a copy of "Magic for Dummies" around in my bag for a while. It has a million and one uses.
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Loyal user
West Virginia, USA
269 Posts

Profile of WhiteAngel
There's a magician (I can't for the life of me remember his name) who when drops a coin, looks at it, then his watch, and says "and...we'll leave that there for 5 seconds....." and picks it up and continues like it was required or something.
True illusionists strive to decieve the eye AND the mind.....
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Inner circle
Instead of practicing, I made
3008 Posts

Profile of MaxfieldsMagic
I read this one somewhere -

when you drop an object, say (as you're bending over to pick it up) - "that was close...almost dropped it!"
Now appearing nightly in my basement.
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Profile of stephencolbert
I heard a great line from a juggler who dropped during a particularly difficult trick he had just added.

"That is not a failure. I never fail. I always succeed at finding out what doesn't work." It was funny.
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Inner circle
Instead of practicing, I made
3008 Posts

Profile of MaxfieldsMagic
For a drop, while looking down or bending over to retrieve the item: "That's why they call it a floor show, folks."
Now appearing nightly in my basement.
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
17116 Posts

Profile of joseph
When you can't afford David Blaine, you get me...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
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