I like the amazing jonothan who says, "there's another thing I can add to the list of sh*t I can't do."

I actually made a fold out list that I keep in my pocket so when I'm doing walkaround I can pull it out and say "no, seriously here's my list" gets a good laugh and now they think it was all part of the act.

A couple of lines that have come my way . . . . . After a prop fails to work,- Digustedly "Ebay, £3.60" Or how about when you've dropped something,- "That's the first drop I've had all day."

Mine is similar to DynaMikes: "Hey don't worry, it's part of the act, although it wasn't part of the act last time I did it."

My very favorite line of this type was when Amazing Johnathan said "As a Magician that sucks, but as a comedian it's d*** funny."

I sometimes use, "I thought I'd throw that trick in... should've thrown it out!"

I messed up performing for the local magic club a month ago. My response was "It worked so much better in front of the mirror". Probably only works for magicians, but it did provide some comic relief.

Wave at audience and say "Ah bu dee, ah bu dee, ah bu dee, ah bu that's all folks" and run off stage like crazy.

"Well, that's new..."

"It's all part of the show ... just the part that hasn't been rehearsed."

"I can't wait to see how I get out of this one myself!"

This is not a line, but one of the funniest I saw was from a juggler when he dropped a ball. Two ball boys ran on, one to hand him a new ball and the other to collect the drop.

Sometimes we have it in a routine for things to 'go wrong on purpose', so my thinking on when things REALLY go wrong, is to try and get in the same frame of mind as when you pretend they have. Um ... I think ...

If it's really glaring, stop what your doing and ask the audience to clap, cheer, whistle and whoop it up really big on the count of 3. After they've done so, then say something like, "Don't you feel better about that trick now?" Move on...

A line I've used on occasion is, " I guess you really are suppose to read the instructions and practice a trick before you perform it in front of somebody".
Bob.

"you know what we need? ...a bigger wand!"

"You know folks.. that is the FIRST time that has EVER happened AGAIN!"

(pause really long and stare at audience and then the prop) "well Mom liked it!"

Kyle

I carried a copy of "Magic for Dummies" around in my bag for a while. It has a million and one uses.

There's a magician (I can't for the life of me remember his name) who when drops a coin, looks at it, then his watch, and says "and...we'll leave that there for 5 seconds....." and picks it up and continues like it was required or something.

I read this one somewhere -

when you drop an object, say (as you're bending over to pick it up) - "that was close...almost dropped it!"

I heard a great line from a juggler who dropped during a particularly difficult trick he had just added.

"That is not a failure. I never fail. I always succeed at finding out what doesn't work." It was funny.

For a drop, while looking down or bending over to retrieve the item: "That's why they call it a floor show, folks."

When you can't afford David Blaine, you get me...