Last night a few blocks from the Nurses Appreciation Gig...there was a huge dump truck with a sign..GOT JUNK?

So I took the opportunity to clean out my car...

the actual line I used...walking down the table,leaned over and stage whispered..

"I cleaned out my car".

Any other bits you collected and used...(I know putting in new material is not for everyone..but I love the risk and the payoff..yes it doesn't always go over as good as this one)

Ones that I need to leave out...

My story of going from Therapist to Laughologist...

a client at a treatment center moved the first three letters of Therapist from the last six....(blank stares on that one)

Harris

Much as I decided to leave out the one about inadvertantly omitting the space after "pen" in "the pen is mightier than the sword."

Sid

There is a grey area were where a pun becomes too clever and ends up somewhere in between a joke and a crossword clue.

Nice work guys. Clever. But funny? Actually they're both rude so funny enough for me.

George

Just because it happened doesn't mean it has to go into the "act".

Because of a house show I now start by asking if the audience is aware that I lost 20 pounds... they usually applaud... I continue... It's not really a diet, I get my exercise from dragging my show a quarter mile because some of you use two spaces to park your car....! ! !

You may use that one but just give me credit.

Jay