I'm looking for some good jokes for doing a Torn and Restored Newspaper (no tear version).

The idea is to tell them that I'm collecting funny newspaper articles/clips; then in the end, I restore the paper into a complete newspaper.

Anybody?

Tony Eng used a great line in his lecture a few years ago where he reads a bit from each page. One page was, "I see OJ is getting married again, he wants to have another stab at it"

A bit dated but funny to some people

check out http://www.theonion.com for inspiration

The Onion...it's satirical and obviously topical.

As for lines to use:
Pour a drink into a newspaper, with the given reason as being able to take an illicit drink on an aircraft. Then, tear it up in order to read a newspaper onboard as space is limited in economy.

Which proves the drink has vanished.

After disembarking from the plane, restore newspaper and pour out drink to tumultuous applause.

To my knowledge, Fay Presto does a drink in newspaper, and t&r newspaper also

That is very funny!

I hate when magicians just tear up the paper so they can restore. That plot makes sense (kind of) and is very funny!

I would use ut as a.. prediction. U say you have a prediction on one of the pieces. Then you take pieces from all over your body. I finally. U say something like wee need magic. And restore it and get a Prediction on the front page

I'm not exactly sure where the link is, but there was an extensive discussion on this forum a few months ago with some excellent ideas. I think they were comedy headlines that can be read as part of the act, and many were very funny. Do a search for 'headlines' and it will probably turn up.

Here's the link: http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......forum=24