The Magic Café
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Believe it or not... » » Post your stories as they happen, here !! (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3~4~5~6~7~8~9~10 [Next]
dave_matkin
View Profile
Inner circle
4456 Posts

Profile of dave_matkin
Just posted another story from teh isleof man on this link
http://www.themagiccafe.com/forums/viewt......art=30#9 its related to blockhead tools hence the posting there........
drwilson
View Profile
Inner circle
Bar Harbor, ME
2191 Posts

Profile of drwilson
I did my third stint at the Farmer's Market this weekend. As I was setting up, the farmer who runs the market, a great, jolly guy who likes my show a lot, told me to slip a ten spot to "Wool Lady." I glance over his shoulder, and there's Wool Lady, setting up her tent with lots of naturally-dyed yarn hanging all over.

So far, the rent has been zero. I am working for tips and selling tickets to an attraction in the tent if I bring one. Even if I slip Wool Lady a ten spot to calm her grumbling, it's still cheap. I remember that the Town Council had to amend one of their many local ordinances to allow a Farmer's Market. The ordinances probably still prohibit exhibiting mummified cryptids for profit, performing the cups and balls, or wearing a top hat in public. I think about it until it is almost time to pack up.

I am a real virgin at this. There is no use trying to appear world-wise and sophisticated. I don't have a ten, so I take a five and five grungy ones from out of the hat, fold them into a packet slightly larger than my business card, and top it off with my business card. I saunter over to Wool Lady's tent in full regalia, complementing her on her fine selection of yarns and telling her how fondly I remember a dear departed friend of mine from the area, now no longer among us, who was a great knitter. I turn to meet her gaze, and her face is like a walnut, most of the lines indicating disapproval.

"I'm Dr. Wilson," I say, handing her my card. She quickly registers what's under it. "Have a great day!" I say as I wander off.

A few minutes later, as I am packing out, she walks by and waves. It looks like she is trying to smile, but she has forgotten how over the years.

Whatever it takes...

Yours,

Paul
Harley Newman
View Profile
Inner circle
5112 Posts

Profile of Harley Newman
Ah yes!

"If you think I'm trying to pull the wool over your eyes, you need to see the Wool Lady! She had a great assortment of..., and you can make your own choice in wool!"

PR at its best! If anyone can make her smile, it's you, Doc!
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus” -Mark Twain

www.bladewalker.com
Kondini
View Profile
Inner circle
3612 Posts

Profile of Kondini
Just got a letter from a confused woman,,,her press proved that I was working in two places at the same time. Without tipping her the wink,,,she is now convinced I am super human,,,,so I enquired if she would like to have my child!!! As yet no reply.

This arose >>>> As I was pre booked to do a gig>>>>They put out a lot of publicity on my attending >>>> Something cropped up so I could not appear, so I engaged someone else to take my place >>>> Will not disclose who,,,but he cant spell, tells crap jokes, posts on here and called Dave!!! So this person who I will not say who he is worked as Kondini with all the frills that the Great Kondini demands,,,,of course he was not as good as me,,,but the result is positive in as much as I have once more done the impossible !!!!

I understand the second best Kondini went on to do another gig on the Isle of Man, of course this was supplied by the Great but modest real Kondini,,,yet again.

Two headed Turtles suck,,,,two bodied Kondini`s rock !!!
Gemeanii
View Profile
Regular user
Feeling so much younger now....
158 Posts

Profile of Gemeanii
This story will be from an entirely different perspective…

For the faint of heart who won’t read it all, here is the point:
“You never know how your act will reach out and touch the life of someone in your audience.”

For the past many months I’ve been embroiled in a large complicated family drama, one that centers on by Fiancé, or rather, my family’s perception of her. Now, anyone who knows her recognizes her as a sweet, caring genuine woman with no trace of a hidden agenda. My family has banished her none the less. Fortunately I don’t believe it’s my family’s place to make that decision for me so I politely acknowledged their right to be rid of her – and WE LEFT - Waked away from the past 48 weekends of planting trimming and managing 1300 grape vines in what was to be a family vineyard and winery.

So, with loads of newly found free time on our hands we decided to visit the Maryland Renaissance Festival on Sunday to help lighten our spirits. I had hoped to see some performance artists in a familiar genera, Magic and Side Show, but just walking around and being in a festive atmosphere was lightening our emotional load. You see, my fiancé has been blaming herself for doing something to upset the family. I had tried to explain that it wasn’t her, that it would have been anyone who I brought into the family (you’d have to know them to fully understand, professionals have tried to help…), still the tendency for self recrimination is difficult for her to shake.

Jonny Fox was wonderful and professionally inspiring for me but it was the mystic with the rainbow turban that provided the life changing words of wisdom for my fiancé.

Yes, that geeky little Swami with his bed of nails right at the end of the best show I’ve ever seen him do provided a wonderful FLASH of inspiration …

“In the grand scheme of the world’s wrongs, there’s Darfor (reaching over his head), and then there’s a whole bunch of other stuff - and then way down around here (pointing to his ankles) is this stuff.”

Thank You Swami, you have helped both of us get this whole drama into perspective. Now, we move on with our lives. Do you do weddings?

Steve & Ardon
Steve Gemeny
The Great Gemeanii
[email]steve@gemeny.com[/email]
www.gemeanii.com
critter
View Profile
Inner circle
Spokane, WA
2551 Posts

Profile of critter
That's a great story Gemeanii.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
Kondini
View Profile
Inner circle
3612 Posts

Profile of Kondini
Hey Steve, best to you and yours.
Reminds me of times past when I was considered to have married out of my class.

Follow your heart and time will restore the rest left behind and remember its their loss, not yours!!

Ken

PS This must be Mr Fox`s 100th year with the Annapolis show! And still looks young grrrrr.
Kondini
View Profile
Inner circle
3612 Posts

Profile of Kondini
OK,,been a while (8 shows done)Since posting here cos all were pretty uneventfull.

One laugh though >>> Recent divorced mum and kid (Must have been rough break up)In the Zibb tent,,, "Mummy, where did you say daddy went to ?" (Dont know what story she told the kid prior to this discussion,,but I guess it went along the lines that daddy had been turned into a horror of a daddy) "Is that what happened to daddy ?" (Kids looking at the Mer) >>>> Ends up kids crying,,,mummy can`t explain where daddy is,,,,kids put two and two together and come up with five,,and firmly believes daddy has vanished cos he`s turned into a Mer!!!


Mummy makes matter worse by saying, that's what happens to men when they treat their wives badly,,,,kid starts to get real screamy,,punters watching wonder what the hell is going on,, (Me Im starting to turn a good tip ... keep it up kid) Mummy cuffs kid, kid screams even more,,,,,they are off home now!!! Haha,,I love this job!!

Except for the weather !!! 6 gigs rained on.

Ken
critter
View Profile
Inner circle
Spokane, WA
2551 Posts

Profile of critter
OK, this is an old story but I was just reminded of it.
I was doing a show with 3 other guys, whom I shall refer to as Moe, Curly, and Shemp.
Shemp was an expert martial artist. He has 3 black belts, including a 4th degree in ninpo, or ninja-ing, or whatever you call it. Dudes a ninja. That's what I'm saying.
Shemp wanted me to hold a styrofoam target while he threw a shuriken (ninja star.) Now, Shemp is one of the best knife/axe/shuriken throwers I know.
I had seen him hit the target square hundreds of times. I wasn't worried.
I wasn't worried at all until I got a ninja star in my freakin' hand!
It got a big laugh from the crowd though so I'd call it a good experience.

So that is the infamous shuriken incident.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
critter
View Profile
Inner circle
Spokane, WA
2551 Posts

Profile of critter
Oh, I forgot to refer to Curly and Moe like I promised. They're prats.
"The fool is one who doesn't know what you have just found out."
~Will Rogers
Stephon
View Profile
Special user
Maryland, USA
911 Posts

Profile of Stephon
Steve,

Wow, I'm very glad that you were able to take something personally valuable away from what was, essentially, a lighthearted but self-indulgant rant in response to a letter of complaint I got after my very first show of the season.

You picked a perfect day to come out to the festival and I'm happy you left feeling better than when you arrived.

Cheers.
~Les S. Moore, The Dapper Dipper
Swami Yomahmi and Cheeky Monkey Sideshow

"Comedy is a man in trouble." ~Bill Irwin
drwilson
View Profile
Inner circle
Bar Harbor, ME
2191 Posts

Profile of drwilson
I did a show for the Acadia Music Festival, an event with a bunch of country-rock music acts ("Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy") at a spacious campground. They wanted some kid-friendly events to draw families in early. I followed a puppet show by some really fun folks.

We were getting the remnants of a hurricane here later in the day, so they had a big tent set up with a bunch of picnic tables. I set up my tent at one edge. Looking out at this bunch, they had just plopped down at the picnic tables and weren't going to move. So it was start low, start slow with my Roller Organ. No one would get up to walk over and have a look. OK, let's give away some Two Card Monte sets. Now they are waking up. We play Fast & Loose with a couple of fun folks, then follow that with a Poker demonstration. Now the mature gentleman are starting to show interest. On to the Cups and Balls. Some teenagers think that they can follow the simple ball moves at the start, then it gets fancy. When the six oranges come out, they are numb.

So it's time to give them what they came for, the Challenge Rope Escape. I show 100 feet of rope, a timer, and a $100 bill. The audience picks a big German newspaper reporter on vacation as their champion. He takes six minutes to tie me. I am out in 90 seconds.

Now they are really worked up. I offer them another escape, straitjacket and chains. Because I am not going to get hoisted up on a crane, I stand on a picnic table for the chaining. "Is that safe?" the guy doing the chaining asks.

"It's perfectly safe for you," I say.

I work the chains down to one ankle and send them flying with a kick in a stripper move for a cheer. Then I do the jacket. When I am done, they ask me if I have dislocated both shoulders.

Back in the saddle again. Life is good!

Yours,

Paul
Cindi
View Profile
Loyal user
Palm Bch, FL
285 Posts

Profile of Cindi
Paul
Did you ever get the Magazine?

Cindi
drwilson
View Profile
Inner circle
Bar Harbor, ME
2191 Posts

Profile of drwilson
Dear Cindi,

Sure did, thanks!

Yours,

Paul
Kondini
View Profile
Inner circle
3612 Posts

Profile of Kondini
Just done the Mother of all wet shows,,,centre of Salisbury Plain,,set up Thursday 1.5 inches of rain, opened Friday 2 inches of rain, Friday night gales plus of course rain, Saturday 2.5 inches of rain (By now the traders and few public which turned up were being towed both on and off) Forecast for Sunday was better !! It rained again all Saturday night, Sunday morning 8am out came the sun,,,,ground was so water logged the show got canceled at 10am as more rain was forecast for the afternoon!!!

Back home by 4pm on a Sunday,,,,no wages,,,still trying to dry out (Today Monday) Phone call,,,next weekends show at Worcester has been canceled due to water logged site....

UK Summer ^**@88 ollocks !

Since April we have had 24 shows ditched, all due to the UK sunshine.

Ken (Splodge).
ReggieB
View Profile
Regular user
Philadelphia, PA, USA
183 Posts

Profile of ReggieB
Oh dear!
(i suggest a lot of soup!...and whiskey)
Kondini
View Profile
Inner circle
3612 Posts

Profile of Kondini
Yep,,,then I can be wet inside as well as out !!!!

Stop taking the wee wee.
drwilson
View Profile
Inner circle
Bar Harbor, ME
2191 Posts

Profile of drwilson
So I was out with a Strange Thing today. It is a Strange Thing indeed! I have my tent tricked out with the Full Higley, and a box of magic.

I barely opened the magic box. I could have left the whole thing home. I made just as much with the Strange Thing as I make doing rope escapes face down on the pavement, or doing the cups and balls, on which I have worked for many years.

Naturally, I had my lines ready. I only went all the way to the end with one person. Most people are ready to accept that anything might come from far-off New Mexico. When pressed about the Strange Thing, it would go like this:

Q. Is it real?

A. Of course it's real!

Q. What is it?

A. I got it from a collector out West.

Q. Do you know what it is?

A. It's from New Mexico. The Trinity site.

Q. I don't know what that is.

A. The site of the first atmospheric nuclear test.

Q. Oh! So this is...

A. I'm not supposed to have this.

Q. So that explains (gesturing to the cryptic banners)...

A. Yes.

The look on their faces is priceless. Same dialog if they ask about DNA testing. I'm not supposed to have this.

Yours,

Paul
Josh Peters
View Profile
New user
Minneapolis, MN
64 Posts

Profile of Josh Peters
The Brothers Strange performed at a local ren faire this weekend. For the finale of our show we do a 100' rope tie. The two gentlemen we chose to tie me manhandled me so much, pulling me this way and that as they cinched the rope tightly around me, that my partner had to hold tight to keep me from falling to the ground. He ended up included in the rope tie. As we struggled to escape, one of the audience members, a very kind mentally challenged woman, walked up to us.

"Hold still and I'll untie you," she said.

I looked at her and told her that I was pretty sure we could get out.

"Now listen to me," she demanded, "hold still and I'll let you out."

At that moment her handler came and brought her back to the audience. The rest of her group, both the handlers and the other challenged people, had tears of laughter rolling down their faces.

After much effort and struggling we were finally able to escape the ropes as well as book another show.

Huzzah!

Josh
Josh Peters
View Profile
New user
Minneapolis, MN
64 Posts

Profile of Josh Peters
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Believe it or not... » » Post your stories as they happen, here !! (0 Likes)
 Go to page [Previous]  1~2~3~4~5~6~7~8~9~10 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2021 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.17 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL