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thegreatnippulini
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of Hell because I've made
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Quote:
On 2009-06-03 08:41, gsidhe wrote:
...chance of a sudden jerk...


Chance is NOT a sudden jerk! Maybe a slow one, but not sudden.
The Great Nippulini: body piercer, Guinness World Record holder, blacksmith and man with The World's Strongest Nipples! Does the WORLD care? We shall see...
http://www.greatnippulini.com
dave_matkin
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On 2009-06-02 19:56, thegreatnippulini wrote:
How about a thin silver chain?


oh do I "see" a great new nipps product? the BH nail with a small chain fastend to the end?

I have had many problems with getting people to hold the nail to "pull" it out - even with plyers - they just don't want to do it over here (well not for me!) May be its just me?

Dave
Freak Prodigy
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Tell them you are Bono's brother.
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Kondini
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Well we are still on the run with last week at Ashby Magna in the Leicester area. The show although weather was good had a poor intake as the Grand Prix (Just down the road) Took all the punters, made travel within a 50 mile radius impossible with even the M1 at a standstill.

With the Flea Circus and six shows under the belt we were talking with a few locals and the following came to light.

It was the anniversary of Daniel Lambert`s death.

Daniel (A local) was born in 1770 a celeb in the area and worked as a Prison Warder.

His claim to fame being that he wieghed in at 52 Stone and had a waist size of 9ft 4inches. He died on the 21st June 1809 aged 39 years.

Now there is a museum of his articals and life as a big fella which is located in the Liecester boundary (Not sure where) With such an attraction it was not long before he found self exhibiting and self promotion to be more profit making than working for the state and it is believed he made a good bundle from this.

A freak who self promoted rather than being presented by,,,,was a new concept for this type of performer and he made the way for many who followed his lead,,,,cutting out the middle man !!!!

Ken.
Kondini
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Returned from Shugborough Hall in the Midlands on Cannock Chase.

What a show !

What a c@ck up.

The arena was huge and put smack bang in front of the Hall (Speckies visiting the house had a free view of all the acts in the arena without paying the entrance fee to the show).

An organ was placed just outside the arena (Faceing towards it) I was placed next to the organ, opposite me was Stoates Giant P&J outfit which also edged with the public Bar !!!!

So the show opens, we all have our show times (Which overlapped) The start of the day with the Hawk and Eagle display over ran by twenty minets so off went this mad event.

We all plied for trade,,,,managed to do my slots on both days but in the process upset the organ and parrot shows,,,with a finaly of Mr Punch packing up early cos he said the kids wouldnt come to him !!!!!

The whole thing was a disaster waiting to happen, hardly anyone turned up (No publicity and what publicity there was, was conviscated by the local Council for fly pitching).

My first ever dismissel of an audience took place when it was obvious that the drunks were out to give me a hard time,,,so I shut them down before they had a chance with a few choice remarks, some huge fire blowouts (Making sure I covered the punks with fuel)Then walked off stage with the request that on the next performance the audience be made up of human beings rather than half baked beanS!!! It worked,,,the next set was a blast.

The manager "vanished" before paying so we hung around till he returned,,,hahaha,,he apologised for it being such a rotten event, then paid us with a pre dated cheque !!!! Will it clear !!! God knows.

Next week Bromyard Gala,,,a proper show and our tenth year.

Ken.
Rotten
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Last night our sideshow premiered on a CCL ship. We gave everyone a solid warning of the content being not suitable for those of the weak of heart. It was adults only, no one under 18, and we had about 700 people for a midnight show. There were many that loved it and a few that were repulsed by it. We warned them. Our sound tech played the loudest, hardest, heavy metal music in his collection for preshow. I figured that would weed out the weak. A few that couldn't handle it walked out but we got a standing O at the end so the walk outs can shut the front door.

Will
Kondini
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A very busy but wet season so far and not worthy of comment.
Not able to post often due to the lack of internet access but this morning after getting up late the day started real bad.


The press rang with a request as to my views on certain things which were going on regarding sideshow in the USA. They say any press is good but from the questions and attitude of the reporter, this will not be the case.Will not elaborate on this as I may be barking up the wrong tree and my aim is to preserve what we do rather than castigate it.

I do however, feel that this will not be shoved under the carpet and failure to respond add credance to their attitudes and perception of freaks and show life. Also to respond could bring the anti`s out of the woodwork which would blow up in our own faces. Bottom line is, we have given the anti`s amunition which should never have happened in the first place.

Just received another call, from a sideshow performer who has also been quized ?

If this snowballs the whole industry will suffer.

Signing off now as I hope to drill down to it.

Ken.
Kondini
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Off we go again,,,sods law.
Here I am playing at home, its Sunday and we were due to appear at Matlock Show over the weekend.

We did Dunster Castle last Wednesday, drowned out and water logged we made nothing, returned home to a phone call to find that the ground at Matlock was flooded so no show for the weekend !!!!

To cap it all, I gave Dave Matkin a nice little earner for this weekend on the Isle of Mann cos we were "Double booked" ! So Dave made the dosh while Im crying over me coffee.

Got to get a proper job.

The long range forecast from the Met Office for this season was a BBQ summer, they get high pay for predictions!!! B@st@rds.

Next weekend underwater fire-eating display at Evesham.

Ken.
Just like Comedy ! Sorry Todd.
Todd Robbins
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Quote:
On 2009-08-02 07:35, Kondini wrote:
Ken.
Just like Comedy ! Sorry Todd.


Et tu, Brute?

Big Todd Robbins & Son
Kondini
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Carbarium, frute an nuticum, popularis !

Little Ken Dean & Sons & Daughters, whoever & where ever they are.
Todd Robbins
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Quote:
On 2009-08-03 14:09, Kondini wrote:
Carbarium, frute an nuticum, popularis !


I have no idea what that means. When it comes to latin, it's all greek to me.
Harley Newman
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Like so many other languages, eh?
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus” -Mark Twain

www.bladewalker.com
Kondini
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It means " Im a Cadburys Fruit and Nutcase" (Cadburys as in Chocolate !
Kondini
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Three days at the Evesham Country Show was a blast, in more ways than one !

My set was positioned three hundred yards direct in line with Pam Kelders Organs.

The Kelder Family (Very rich lot) Have a number of show organs. On this occasion the "Victory Concert Organ" was positioned to the right of their "Locomotionn Organ" with a thirty foot screen between the two.
As night time fell, both organs played on their own and in sync with each other. The massive screen showing clips from well known films while the music to these films blasted out from the organs.

All was scripted to perfection, with the clips changing as the music changed, such delights as Dads Army, Grease, 633 Squadron etc etc all had a showing. The whole set lasting around two hours.

These huge Dutch Gavs with the equaly huge Dutch Kelder family were OTT in every way, superb polished presentation and organs worth thousands of pounds kept to perfection.

The only draw back for me was waking up at 8;30am to them and listening constantly with no break till 11pm each and every night. My ears still ringing from the sound we drove off site only to be presented with free CD`s from this Dutch crew,,,,now should I smash them over their heads or what ? No we took them with many thanks all round and silently hoped that it would be a long while before we bump into them again.

On a sadder note >>>> The planned exchange with the US has been put on hold indefinately due to US business men withdrawing their offers.

After finaly drilling down to it, it seems the bad showmen press over your side of the pond has caused this to happen,,,shame cos it could have been a blast (Especialy as the Kelder family were to be invited).

The Euro run is on.

Ken.
Doug Higley
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It was such a minor story...how could it have derailed such a worthy enterprise? We are so freakin' bankrupt with this PC crap. Gutless bustards.
Higley's Giant Flea Pocket Zibit
Kondini
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Here is another for the record books.

Booker of three engine rallies books you for all three events.

Booker says his word is his bond and over the last thirty years of rallying has never had to deal with signed contracts.

So event number one is completed,,,off to pick up the cash,,,two hours later booker is located. Explains he never took enough on the gate to cover expenses but would have a cheque in the post on its way to you within forty eight hours.

Three days down the line, no cheque ! a phone call clears this up with the fact that he has been far too busy and it slipt his mind. Still not to worry he will pay when you get to the next event,,,,in cash.

So you ring two days before show number two, just to remind him about the dosh due for show number one.......also you mention that the cost of show two is the same as show one due to the travel expenses being the same (A round trip of eight hours). He then declares that as show two is a new venue he has no intention of paying the full verbaly adreed fee,,,,only expenses costs for this show !!!

So what do you do,,,not go to show two and possible end up with nowt, or go to show two knowing (On his word) That you will get full payment in cash for show number one plus expenses for show two,,,at the very least >>>?

Arrival at show two proves that he has no cash for show one until completion of show two !!!!!

Here is the kicker,,,at the end of show two,,,once more he in no where to be found. Now to add to the fun,,,the parrot show, the two funfare operators plus umpteen others are all out looking for the elusive booker !

Eventualy he is cornered and upon emptying his pockets it is found that the only money he has is thirty pounds short of show number ones payement.

True story,,,happened to us,,,show two was last weekend,,,,beware of Mr DABID HOYLES,,,MIDLAND RALLY AND EVENTS CLUB>>>> 81 Westwick Road,Bilborough, Notts, NG84HB UK Tel: 01159135823 www./davehoyles.co.uk

BEWARE BEWARE there are rip off merchants everywhere.

Sowbiz ! TBC

Ken.
abigkahuna/1
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Reminds me of the beginning of the movie Treasure of the Sierra Madre. What a bummer...
Kondini
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Just done the week at Bridgewater Fair,,,been going for 600 years and some of the locals still think its a pain.

What with the drunks, druggies, prossies and Irish Travellers up to their abnormal tricks,,all in all the take was good and we are booked in for next year !

Now getting there on the Monday was a way of pitching before the rush, but the Council decided not to close off the roads till Tuesday morning. We got sent off with a flea in the ear and had to find a park up for the night.

Six miles out on the Quantock Hills we stumbled on a fresh water lagoon (Hawkeridge Lake) Complete with scenic view and hard standing parking.

As per normal the van was full of swag including large body parts for Ghost Trains which had been pre ordered by some of the showmen. Even our bed was piled roof high with Zombie cut off heads and three foot rubber bats. We crammed as much as we could onto the front seats and positioned a half body in the drivers seat with its hands holding the steering wheel.

Couple of hours into darkness and passing traffic must have picked up these odd shapes in there headlights,,,,,you can guess the results,,,mayhem to the extent that odd happenings were going on at the beauty spot. Along comes the old Bill and thank goodness they could see the funny side of things !!! So we covered the offenders in a sheet (Which looked even spookier to me) Then settled down for the night.

Upon reflection, I could have gained press capital from this and should have tipped them the wink as to the oddities on the hills,,,kicked myself for letting this chance pass me by,,,,still,,,next year.

Ken.
Kondini
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Sherborne Pack Monday was up again despite the crunch,,,set up at 2am breakdown at 3am 25 hours later, then a 2 hour drive,,,not slept for three days now completly knackered.

There is no biz like showbiz ******ks.

Got ta get me a proper job.

Working with HD Fairs at Windsor racecourse we were next to the Guild of Blacksmiths,,,been a long time since hitting the anvil but the soft metal under a ballpane has a special feeling to it, once experienced and never forgotten.

The trailer hitch snapped on the Mendip hills with a £400 repair bill to follow !!!
Being on the backend run with high costs has once more put pressure on the showmen,,now with Government changes and costs a few more will go under. The biz is going out,,,the country is F****D.
abigkahuna/1
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Well we arrived here at the Arizona State Fair late last night. Our RV space was between two carnival bunk houses with the folks leaning out their doors waiting for whatever. No way I could back into the spot and not rip out their stairs on either side... So moved down a couple of spots with decent electric and water, et al. I burrowed in like a mole and hunkered down for the night.

Woke up early this morning to go to the office and pay the 700 bucks to park the RV and stock vehicle for the duration of the fair. The gal up in the office just simply took white out and removed us from spot "Five" and penciled us in space "9". SO far so good. Now off to find the gentleman we book through. We don't book through the fair on this spot, but through someone that runs "Mexican VIllage" His dad did this for years and now its his turn. Excellent guy and takes care of his vendors.

Well seems as though yesterday the fair told him that he was losing spaces because a sponsor was coming in with a big semi and park it right where we and a few other booths were to be. We booked for a 20 foot spot this year and in past years we went 20 back. This year we were planning to put up both the "museum" and the product booth. But we have been squeezed out of our spot. Some shuflling was done and the end result is we have another spot, slightly better than in years past, but its only 10 foot deep. So we are only going to set up the product booth this year. Its the second time this year we have had spaced squeezed out. Both times the museum had to be sacrificed. Too bad, cause in the week interim between Puyallup fair up in Washington State and Phoenix, we stopped off at our home in Northern California and I built a new ticket box for the museum. Looks great! Oh well.

We shall see if this pans out. Don't like coming here. Fuel was some 800 bucks from our house to Phoenix, but we stopped off at the casinos in Indio and my darling wife hit a jackpot that paid for the fuel. Two more numbers and we could have turned around and went back home!

Maybe next time.

It will be in the upper 90s to 100 degrees this week so we are waiting till tonight to begin set up.
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