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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » A Different Sort of Humor Exercise - What Would You Do? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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NJJ
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Before anyone suggest "I'm all thumbs today" let me try some other responses.

"Oops! That's leprosy for you!"
"That's not the first time I've exposed myself...smaller this though."
"Man...the Magician's Alliance are not going to like this"
NJJ
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You arrive to do a kid's magic show only to find a room full of 16 year olds who don't speak english!

(happened today)
magicgeorge
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Aside: Is this really a humour exercise or a get out of an embarassing situation exercise? For more delicate problems, humour probably isn't the way to go. I don't think I'd actually use any of the humorous solutions (except the big brother one which is roughly what I said last time it happened). Is keeping this thread magic-related making it more helpful? Most of the humour in my show has nothing to do with magic. It just happens to happen while I'm performing magic. In gag tag most of the useable/creative stuff came before everyone tried relating everything to magic and magicians.

Anyhow.

I'd probably see how much of my act I could do in silence and then make them all stupid balloon hats for the remainder of the time.

You get a small boy up to help with a trick. When he gets to the stage you realise he's not a boy but a shaved monkey. What do you do?
Sealegs
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You should be prepared that Gibbon half a chance his Marm-'ll-set on you and give you a proper G'rilling.

MagicGeorge; your aside to makes a good point. At least ways that my considered opinion.

You turn up to do a show and only then realise that you've shrunk in the wash and are only 18" tall? What do you do?
Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
jocdoc
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Realize that you should have taken the little blue pill instead of the red. Then use a diminishing deck to perform card to miniature wallet. [Also, wear eye protection against peoples' knees and condense your act.]

You're scheduled to do a show in Australia and arrive in time only to find that Australia is closed for renovations. What would you do?
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
magicgeorge
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Swim to New Zealand (it's only an inch away on a world map) and hope that my show is good enough to distract them from their usual entertainment (baa).

Your show is interrupted 6 foot rat on LSD who has become convinced that your shoes are made of cheese. WWYD?
Sealegs
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Exchange the Lsd into current decimal coinage then rat can afford to go and buy his own cheese shoes.

You travel to a show in a De Lorean car you bought from a Mr M McFly and arrive 5 years late to your gig. What would you do.
Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
jocdoc
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I'd knock down a Dr. Brown's soda, pick up the latest new magic tricks/gimmicks/concepts on the market and then fire up that old flux capacitor once again to travel back in time and blow everybody away with my new act.

Your tour boat leaves you stranded on a remote desert island along with 7 other castaways of various backgrounds (skipper, 1st mate, gorgeous movie star, plain jane, an eccentric couple and a very smart man). Who does the dishes?
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
Larry Bean
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Usually Gilligan.


During a show your helper from the audience sneezes so loud and so often he/she is actually starting to steal the show. What do you do or say?
jocdoc
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"You mixed up your pepper and deodorant sprays this morning, didn't you?!"

You're doing walk-around at a cocktail party and you stop to entertain a drop dead gorgeous woman. She's staring intently at your hands as you perform with some cards. Do you go ahead and make your pass anyway?
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
Sealegs
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If when you make your pass you tend to flash I would say you might want to think of doing something else.... Personally I would go for my variation of the Bottom Placement that utilises a rather unusual fingering that I have found works very well in this situation.

You accept a booking to do a 'kids show' and when you turn up you find that you're working for an audience of 27 young goats. It's too late to hire a Nanny...What do you do?
Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
jocdoc
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You could conceivably milk the magical moments for everything they're worth unless you hear the audience heckling you about your cheesy jokes and how baaaaaaaaad you were...

You're booked for a special week in Hell and find the audience filled with horny little devils. What do you use for an opener?
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
Larry Bean
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Snowstorm in China or anything else to get the temperature cooler.

You are forcing a card with your "special" deck. The spectator remembers the card and puts it back. A bit later after you have committed to the prediction you realize that it wasn't your "special" deck after all and that you have no idea what their card is. Your odds of a successful trick dropped from 100% to a 1 in 52 chance. What do you do?
jocdoc
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This is what card to wallet,card under glass, and invisible deck effects are for...

Or, you can explain to audience that you just gave a demonstration of a card force and ask the spectator what card he/she picked. You respond with a hearty "You're right!!!"
---

OK, you just tried my lame out as described in the second paragraph and they didn't buy it. Now, what would you do?
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
Father Photius
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Act like it is all part of the act, say something like "you really should practice that trick more before doing it in public", take the deck and go immediately into a different card routine as if this was all planned.

You are using a very expensive motor driven levitation, and once you get the subject from the audience up in the air, the circuit breaker blows and the apparatus won't move anymore, what do you do?
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Larry Bean
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"Thank You Ladies and Gentlemen for that rousing response to my levitation. Come back next week for the sequel, 'The De-Levitation' I think you'll enjoy it

You are doing a trick with a little boy helping you at a church gathering. You hand him the magic wand which he promptly places at his crotch holding it out with both hands. The audience is hysterical, but those who hired you are obviously getting peeved. What do you do now?
jocdoc
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"Don't worry folks, little Johnnie is just hinting that time is petering out..."
"Be careful how you walk with that son, you may hurt something..."
"No, little Johnnie, Jesus raised up Lazarus, not Peter!"

-----

You are working a holiday office party for C.O.N.T.R.O.L. and the entire gang is present (Max, 99, Chief, Hymie, etc). What effect could you use as an opener?
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
Larry Bean
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Anything that doesn't cause C.H.A.O.S. (K.A.O.S - not sure of spelling) and hope that the audience isn't seated in the cone of silence.

Your show's going well when all of a sudden your assistant from the audience rips a stinky one that's loud enough for all to hear. What do you do?
Chappo
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Quickly state without a difference in expression 'And that reminds me, ladies and gentlemen, please turn off all cell phones during this performance."

------------------------------------------------------

Half way through an ACR, you drop a spectator's signed card. EXCEPT you are the only one who has seen it drop (IE: The trick is looking normal to your spectators).

NB: You do not have a second deck on your person (BW, Gaffs or Standard)
The rules of a sleight of hand artist, Are three, and all others are vain,

The 1st & the 2nd are practice... And the 3rd one is practice again


- 'Magic of the Hands', Edward Victor (1940)
jocdoc
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You could tell the spectators that you've come up with a new way of mixing the cards and then drop them all on the floor in the vicinity of the fallen card (don't lose track of it though). Pick up all of the cards (with the selected signed card wherever you want it to be) and proudly announce "now, that's how to really mix up the cards!"

-----------
You're working a moose's birthday party in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota and he insists on showing you the old "pull a rabbit out of a hat" trick. You assume that he's full of bull. However, he really attempts the trick and accidentally goes on to pull a fire-breathing monster's head from the hat. And, if that's not bad enough, next he calls up an assistant from the crowd, a lovely Russian woman named Natasha. Apparently he's going to perform some mentalism stunt and inquires if her marriage is rocky at the moment. This moose is driving you insane. How do you regain control of your show?
Life is an improv. The game goes on...
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