Here's a little fun we can have creating a comedy routine collectively. This weeks trick we will attempt to write patter for will be the "Snowstorm in China" routine. I"d like everyone to write a small piece of the patter and collectively tryto come up with something funny. I'll begin.

"As a child growing up in Ethiopia, we seldom saw any winters. Living in a 4th world imnpoverished country near the equator- EVERY day was a summer day......"

One day, my Uncle Chubby... That wasn't his real name, we just called him Uncle Chubby because he was so fat! That dude had to weigh at least 65 or 70 pounds!

Any-hoo, Uncle Chubby once told us of magical white stuff that fell from the air... At first, I thought he was talking about bags of rice being air dropped by aid workers, but no, this stuff was much different!


Lyndel

Chubby began to tell the tale. It was not like I had any choice as the nearest town was 150 miles away.. not like I had any place to go or anything better to do.

He told me that this white stuff from the sky was different. It was cold. very very cold. A cold that shook every fiber and every bone in your body. A feeling like the same feeling you get being chased by a rhino with your loin cloth around your ankles.

He was supposed to be at work."How would I know he was finishing early" she said.
that's the last time I have an affair with a Rhino.

It was around that very same time that my friends grew tired of watching all the magic tricks I bought from King Yoptut's Magic Hut, and I thought, if I could really do magic...I would make it snow for all of them...and turn the rhino's horn into a pin cushion (rub bum)...then my friends would family would truly enjoy my magic, and stop poking me with sticks!

I approached Uncle Chubby and asked if he could teach me how to produce snow in
Ethyopia. He took me to a restaurant that had menus written on blank paper. He taught me how to take the menu, and fold it into the form of a fan.

Uncle Chubby told me that he needed to buy a bottle of Head and Shoulders. When I asked him why, he rubbed his head with a piece of paper. . .

As the sandpaper scraped across Uncle Chubby's nearly naked scalp, little flaky bits began to appear at the nape of his neck and atop his shoulders. Alas, the wisdom of the Head and Shoulders request became crystal clear.

We collected the teeny tiny flakes and brought them over to the tribal witch doctor who took them from us and placed them in an earthen flask. Then he lit a small fire in a circle created by lava stones from a nearby volcano.

Grabbing the flask in his devilishly malnourished fingers, the witch doctor emptied the flakes onto his palm. After clucking his language for roughly 5 minutes, everyone noticed a very cold breeze swooping by them- so strong in fact, that all the flies around them began to disappear one by one. As time elapsed, the breeze grew colder and colder.

Until suddenly they realized a tourist was standing next to them and just opened a Cold Busch beer. The tourist apologized and the old witch doctor began again. The dandruff flakes began to form in his shrivled fingers and the winds began to pick up again. which was not a pleasant thing when you have no central sewer systems. People held their noses and gazed up into the sky.

It's a plane.. it's a bird... it's it's lots and lots of cold dandruff.

The dandruff filled the sky like like an Ethipian would fill his tummy with rice, except for the obnoxious bloating of the belly thereafter. Okay, I'm confusing myself...

The once blue sky began to turn white. The impoverished skinnies began to clear and clap wildly. For the first time, they witnessed s-s-s-s-sn-sn-sn-sn-dandruff. Once the snow cleared, everyone looked up and saw a huge, skinny, balding magician shaking a red jacket. Couldit be? No way...YES! It is........

The thought of rice and bloated bellies has summoned the great RJOM, but unfortunitly it also brought along the wearer of said RJOM.

The impoverished skinnies ran screaming for help and looking for a place to hide when suddenly....

A touring Chinese acrobatic ensemble wandered into the camp, cross-country skiing through the 2 foot high drifts of dandruff.

The Chinese acrobat, as the magician formerly known as a symbol, skiis up the pile of white dandruff and reaches Kyle. He then utters some incoherent Chinese garb which sounded sort of like "Pork Fried Rice. You wanna fight? Fight me!" The Chinaman takes off his left ski and stabs Kyle in the eye. Blood begins to drip atop the mountain of dandruff, coating the scalp dust with a thick, red topping.

And so ends the saga, Snowstorm in China, starring Jet Li. Stay tuned for the sequel, A River Runs Through It (starting immediately after commercial interruption). [Go to commercial]

The End. New Topic will be posted soon...

This was a very interesting (true) story.

Robert Haas

If this is a true story, then I should get money for being stabbed in the eye with a ski. I await the next new topic.

Kyle

New thread started. I think you'll like it Kyle.

Um gee thanks Rob. I just read it. Your so swell to think of adding me as the basis for the new script. lol

Kyle

No no no. It's a different Kyle with a red jacket. Lol...