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Scott O. Inner circle Midwest 1143 Posts |
So, I'm well into my library show. All the daycare kids are seated on one side of the room; other children up to about 11 years old are assembled on the floor; all the parents are seated in the back...except one mother who has a toddler and a one year old. She is seated in the middle of all the children with her kids. No problem, all is well.
Part-way into my show I glance down at this mom and she is...well.. she is getting ready to nurse her little one. And I've seen this before, but never in the middle of a public show (which is what she was doing as well, I suppose), and its always been done under a blanket or some covering. Anyway, it didn't throw me off (too much); I just focused my attention elsewhere as much as possible. But I have to admit that was a first during a show. Apparently, no one else in the room noticed. But then I was sort of front and center.
Do not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up. Galatians 6:9
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eSamuels Inner circle 3086 Posts |
By chance, were you in the middle of a Multum In Parvo routine?
(sorry, had to go there!) |
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Dynamike Eternal Order FullTimer 24148 Posts |
It is a good thing it was not on video. If it was it would probably be on You Tube by now.
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Red Shadow Inner circle 1792 Posts |
I would have asked her to leave on behalf of the other children. Sorry, but if I have to be the responsible adult in the room then so be it. My concern has to be for the other children and the indecent exposure issue. I could also have been made liable for exposing the children to this which could have resulted in even worst circumstances.
I might risk losing a booking from her, but frankly I wouldn't want to do it anyway. Unless it was a signal... Perhaps she did it on purpose to get your attention. Hmmm... Were you looking for a magicians assistant at the time by any chance? Steve |
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randirain Inner circle Fort Worth, TX 1656 Posts |
I find that horrible.
I don't see it as a problem, it's not your responsibility, it's natural, something she has to do, and maybe she didn't want to get up and disturb the show. At least the baby wasn't crying. But I see this as one of the problems with this world. People are so uptight. Give it a rest, it's a mother nursing her baby. Scott, you did the right thing. Just ignore it and mind your own business and go on with the show. Now if it was me... I would have asked her to pick a card or something. Randi |
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calamari Elite user The San Francisco Bay Area 429 Posts |
It's happened a few times for me, living in S.F. Bay Area will do that for ya, it's no big deal and you did the right thing in avoiding making any kinda deal out of it at all. it's a bit shocking the first time it happens but just move on with the show if she don't mind (you know the one with the exposed breast and hungry baby) why should you. other parent may have a problem but it is their problem you are just there to do a show not comment on public decency or be the moral police.
Rich
"I came, I saw, SHE conquered." (The original Latin seems to have been garbled.)
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Red Shadow Inner circle 1792 Posts |
Streaking is illegal in almost every country. In front of children even worst so.
I understand her reasoning, but all she had to do was cover herself with a jacket or go into another room for a few minutes. Here in Britain, mothers fill up a bottle at home just for these moments. But again, I don't really care about her, I care about the other children around her and being being taken to court because I let an illegal act happen in front of them. That's me getting arrested. That's me going to court and that's the end of my business and my job as a children's entertainer. I know this is a natural act, but I have to think about the bigger picture and I will not risk everything when just one sentence can protect everybody. If you guys say you have experienced this before and survived, well good for you. In Britain, that's just not tolerated, whatever your feeling are on the excuse for her indecent exposure in front of young children is, there is no reason you cannot do it in another room out-of-sight from the children and other adults. Steve |
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eSamuels Inner circle 3086 Posts |
Steve, I understand your point, and cultural tolerances do vary from place to place, but in all seriousness, there is nothing "indecent" about the act of feeding a baby.
Yes, we do have social codes (many of which are controversial and perhaps even outdated), and it may be that this in this set of circumstances the mother might have exercised better judgment (that alone is a matter of opinion), but unless I'm completely ignorant with regards to the laws in the U.K., to equate this with an illegal act or call it indecent exposure, is a gross exaggeration. |
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magic4u02 Eternal Order Philadelphia, PA 15110 Posts |
I think Stan stated it very well. I personally do not see it as an illegal act or that the lady technically or legally did anything wrong. She is feeding her baby and that is something people do and is accepted.
However, I do feel she used bad judgement in choosing to do it right there infront of the other children and in the middle of a show. I am not finding fault with her nursing, but I do think she could have caused a problem and s distraction for the kids. Tome it is almost the same as if somesone in the audience got a cell phone call in the middle of the show and stayed in place to answer it. Talking on the phone is not wrong, but it is bad judgement to do it at the show to cause a distraction for others around you. I see this situation in a very similar fashion. Nursing a baby is not a bad thing at all. However, choosing to do it in the middle of the audience full of kids at a kid's show I do not find was the best judegment or choice she could have made. Just my thoughts. Kyle
Kyle Peron
http://www.kylekellymagic.com Entertainers Product Site http://kpmagicproducts.com Join Our Facebook Fan Page at http://facebook.com/perondesign |
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ElectricBlue New user 90 Posts |
Quote:
My concern has to be for the other children and the indecent exposure issue. How is seeing another child having there lunch in the most natural way possible in any way going to harm the delicate little minds of the other children? Sure maybe it was bad judgment to choose the middle of the show to do it, purely because it may have been distracting to people watching but heck if your doing a good show they shouldn’t even notice what is happening in the audience around them. Also would it have been more distracting for the baby to start crying or for the mother to have to extract her self from the middle of a bunch of kids? I guarantee you that %100 of all children in care would have seen this many times and it is great that they are learning that it is normal. When I worked in child care many mothers would come in to feed their babies at lunch time and would sit in a couch in the same room as all the other kids, who would not even bat an eye lid. So many people these days are brought up to believe that it is unnatural and obscene and this stops them from breast feeding, when it is really the most healthy option for the majority of babies. The only way this opinion is going to be changed is for people the get comfortable with breast feeding and seeing it in public. It is a breast and feeding babies is what their main purpose in life is, the sooner people can grasp that concept the better off we will be. |
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eSamuels Inner circle 3086 Posts |
Now, if you were to go to a strip bar (male or female for the sake of political balance)and start making balloon animals while a 'performer' is on stage, now that would be tasteless!
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Mikey Magic New user 39 Posts |
Breast feeding your baby in public is not normal and shouldn't be seen by anyone. Just because something is natural, doesn't mean it should be done in public. I can think of other so called natural things, that if done in public, you would be in the slammer.
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nucinud Inner circle New York, New York 1298 Posts |
When are people in this country going to grow up?
People are too up tight. Breast feeding should not be compared to prurient interests and activities. In other words, get your mind out of the gutter and become an adult. Jeez!
"We are what we pretend to be" Kurt Vonnegut, jr.
Now U C It Now U Don't Harry Mandel www.mandelmagic.com |
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rossmacrae Inner circle Arlington, Virginia 2487 Posts |
I just don't get it ... I've been around a number of nursing mothers, and not one of 'em ever whipped out a mammary in the broad light of day.
It seemed I'd just look in their direction in the course of conversation, and notice that suddenly they'd have a light blanket draped over a shoulder, and the tyke's face nuzzled under for nourishment - I never saw a thing, not once! Somebody oughta teach these other ladies! |
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randirain Inner circle Fort Worth, TX 1656 Posts |
Quote:
Streaking is illegal in almost every country. In front of children even worst so. Breast feeding is not streaking. Quote:
Steve, I understand your point, and cultural tolerances do vary from place to place, but in all seriousness, there is nothing "indecent" about the act of feeding a baby. Right.. nothing indecent... and I doubt it's really illegal. If it is... I don't want to here another negative word about the US from anyone from the UK. Good post blueberry_fox. ___________________________________ Quote:
Breast feeding your baby in public is not normal and shouldn't be seen by anyone. When you become a mother, and need to feed your baby, and have to drag around baby equiptment, and raise the child with virtually no sleep... then we will see what you have to say. But for now.. let me just repeat what nucinud said... Quote:
When are people in this country going to grow up? Randi |
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ElectricBlue New user 90 Posts |
Even though this woman didn’t have a blanket I’m pretty sure she didn’t just whip her top off
People need to stop freaking out about breasts. They exist first and foremost to give sustenance to babies. If a baby can’t feed in public why should you? What is the difference between that and you eating in a public food court in front of children *gasp*? Honestly I have seen some people eating in food courts that have put me off my food and disturbed me much more than a woman feeding her baby. Also if you are not allowing women to feed there babies in public where are they supposed to go? Some malls have nursing rooms but they are usually in a horrible dingy corner and are not particularly pleasant but what if they are in an area with out one? Do you suggest a public toilet? How would you like to be forced to eat your lunch in a public loo? Not really appealing is it? Also as mentioned before I agreed with the point that it wasn’t particularly polite to do that in the middle of a performance because it could be distracting but not because of the reasons stated. ::Thanks Randi we must have posted at the same time. So my post was mostly directed to those above:: |
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Scott O. Inner circle Midwest 1143 Posts |
Well, Ross, I was kind of wondering why she didn't use a blanket or something. To be honest, no one seemed to notice but me. Probably because I didn't make anything of it from the "stage" area. But my internal shock meter went off a bit. Ya know, I just don't see that happen every day! That's all.
Do not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time you will reap a harvest, if you do not give up. Galatians 6:9
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Josh Riel Inner circle of hell 1995 Posts |
Our bizarre Western terror and shame of the human body and related sexuality is very funny.
My wife was never comfortable breast feeding our children in public, and it was her choice. She made it work. My wife has several friends who had done so regularly during their pregnancy. They never acted like exhibitionists. I am more than certain that the original poster saw more than what was there. When my kids see a woman breast feeding they feel no shame, fear, or any of the common feelings many have. Why? I have not been so foolish as to teach them that fear. A responsible adult would not try to instill their fear into a group because of such a situation. If the woman was wandering around with the goods hanging out, that is exhibitionism. Feeding your child is not. Anyway, they cover up, and you guys know that. But go on with your moral consternation brought on by your rampant hormonal urges.
Magic is doing improbable things with odd items that, under normal circumstances, would be unnessecary and quite often undesirable.
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randirain Inner circle Fort Worth, TX 1656 Posts |
Quote:
On 2008-07-17 23:36, Scott O. wrote: You did the right thing, and handled it professionally. I am part of a variety show. One time I went on, only to find two girls making out in the audience. You should try that one on for size. Your shock meter will blow a fuse. But I just turned the meter off, ignored them, started my act, and they soon stopped and watched me. Randi |
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ElectricBlue New user 90 Posts |
Oh, just to make sure I wasn't giving the wrong idea I also agree that what you did Scott O was the right thing to do. It was only comments from others that were a little worrying and I can understand that it may have been a shock if you have not been around breast feeding mothers though.
I’m sure that mother was glad to have those minutes of peace and quiet while you were entertaining her toddler. |
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