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phonic69 Special user 560 Posts |
I am performing a speech at an end of term party soon and my comedy is not up to standard!
The joke needs to be: Hilarious Short/medium length not too rude Thank you in advance! |
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Peter Marucci Inner circle 5389 Posts |
Walk out, survey the room with slightly raised eyebrows, and say: "Wow, this is the biggest group of people I've appeared in front of since my trial."
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Dave Le Fevre Inner circle UK 1666 Posts |
This is only the second time in my life that I've spoken in public.
And the first time, all I said was "Not guilty".
The Ozzy Osbourne of the 34x27
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RyanJonPilling New user Calgary, AB 35 Posts |
I was in Toastmasters for a few years, and my experience says...
Jokes are a great way to start, but for goodness sakes, stick to your topic! Ideally, the joke can introduce the concept/topic of the speech, but at the very least, it can be somehow related. So... what's the speech about? -Ryan Pilling
Playing Big - http://www.PlayingBig.net
A blog for performers about "Making Magic Out Of Tricks" |
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phonic69 Special user 560 Posts |
It is an end of year school speech, any help would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you, |
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Mago Mai Elite user Venezuela 485 Posts |
You might say something like:
Aren't you all glad you can go home now, not having to come to school for a while... (Look surprised to the back of the room while you gesture with your hand.) Wait...wait...wait... I mean after the speech. Mago Mai
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oldguy New user 83 Posts |
How about walking out and saying "I hope I don't forget anything. My wife says my memory is so bad I could hide my own Easter eggs." Works for me. Tom
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Chrystal Inner circle Canada/France 1552 Posts |
Hee Hee...okay that was funny!
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Tor Egil Elite user Norway 495 Posts |
I'm suprised how many girls there are here. Now, I have to ask this. What do you girls think about when guys approach girls with magic?
Blog on baby
http://crazymanic.blogspot.com/ |
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marko Inner circle 2109 Posts |
Tor Egil - Sorry but I'm not sure that would be a great opening line for a speech.
I would walk out and then stay quiet for an inordinate amount of time. Silence. Finally I would say totally dead-pan "Do you hate uncomfortable silences as much as I do?" or "So that's the time when I would have said something really funny to start things off."
Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
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Tor Egil Elite user Norway 495 Posts |
That was a question, not a line silly.
Blog on baby
http://crazymanic.blogspot.com/ |
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ChrisZampese Veteran user Hamilton, NZ 341 Posts |
Tor,
It was a little silly considering the topic that you posted it in! Starting a speech with a joke can be difficult, especially at a school leaving dinner. If you can put any humorous reference to a particular teacher in there then you will have a good start (come on, one of your teachers must have a bizarre personality trait that you can exploit?!)
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are
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Dragona Regular user New Jersey 159 Posts |
Well, I had to give a speech once. I hated it, but Chris has the right idea. Make fun of ALL your teachers. Also use the principal and other administrators. They'll appreciate it, trust me... .
I have the breath of dragons and the soul of a human.
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Patrick McKeever New user 79 Posts |
Phonic69,
Here's an oldie but goodie that I have used on occassion: "I told (the class president, drama teacher, school principal, etc.) if they were ever in a real pinch, I mean scraping the bottom of the barrel, for a speaker they could call on me. Now you know what's on the bottom of the barrel." It's always worked for me. Patrick |
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wassabi_87 Loyal user moscow, idaho 226 Posts |
I don't know why you are even trying to start a speech with a joke in the first place; I never do, and they work fine. A joke should not take the place of your introduction. You could try a colorful intro instead, it will catch their attention better. After all, that was what you were trying to do in the first place, right?
bike during the day,
do magic at night, and very early the next morning, homework. |
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The Donster Inner circle 4817 Posts |
Here goes something that old guy can use for his memory, but not only that she says I'll be lucky if I can find them.
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phonic69 Special user 560 Posts |
What?!!?
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The Donster Inner circle 4817 Posts |
phonics69
OK where the old guy says he comes out and he says that he hopes he remembered to bring everything and then his wife says that his memory is so bad that he could hide his own Easter Eggs. And that he'll be lucky if he could find them meaning finding the Easter eggs. |
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phonic69 Special user 560 Posts |
Quote:
On 2003-05-24 00:55, bubba_boy_87 wrote: It is simply a tradition at my school to start the end of year speech with a joke— there is little need for an introduction because everyone in the room is already aquainted with me— I have been a member of their house for 7 years! |
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The Donster Inner circle 4817 Posts |
Have you tried "I just flew in from Europe and boy, are my arms tired"? Actually it doesn't have to be Europe but anywhere you can go to. Don,
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