So right before I woke up this morning, I was having a REALLY weird dream. Some people in this forum were in it.

I don't know why, but several of us were sitting at a table and someone asks, "so, how are your seconds?"

And Silverking said, "I can get by well enough", and then Vandy said something similar, and then everyone looked at me. And I thought, "my seconds SUCK (bigtime) so what am I gonna say?" and then someone handed me a deck of cards. So I thought, well, I'll make a joke out of it somehow. I took the cards and thumbed a brief about 1/2" big and said, "yeah...big brief...but it works for me well enough" and I strike the second but I end up pulling about 20 cards into a spread on the table. And everyone laughed and I thought, "OK...I got a laugh!"

But then someone said, Ah Jeff, we know you can't do seconds, but at least show us a few shuffles and fans to show us that you can handle cards. So I take up the cards again, but now they are REALLY, REALLY thick--supposedly 52 of them, but holding the deck is like holding a deck of poker-sized UNO cards. And I ask what kind of cards these are, and someone says they are the absolute best cards there are...don't you know what they are, Jeff? don't you know ANYTHING?

And I look at the cards and they are all mercilessly crimped and crinkled and covered with stains and are sticky, but I think, "well, I can pressure fan them in spite of how bad they are..." and I fan the cards the best I can (the deck is, like, three inches thick or something and I can hardly grip them), but it turns into a poorly made giant fan and half the cards fall onto the table.

And then I woke up.

Now, I thought of posting this in the Not Very Magical forum, but I didn't because...the dream might mean something to people here and not there. At the very least it means that my seconds suck (big time)...even in my dreams!

So, go ahead and ridicule me and my stupid dreams and sucky seconds.

The brief size...

For I don't know how many *** years now I hear/read about this stupid thing. What matters man, is the rythm. What's important is the visual deception. The point is to get the best couple pace/deception possible. You just don't care about the brief size! It's far better being able to switch between top and deuces with no break, no decreasing speed.

Of course it's great to watch people dealing from a 1/32 inch brief at light speed. But it has nothing to do with an actual and natural deal. I hate strike deuces.

May I suggest you ought to buy a brand new deck? Your nightmare is just because your cards are suffering for a too long time, they wanna be retired .

Calling Dr Freud, calling Dr Freud.

I have no idea what that was all about. But I've had similar dreams where I can't do something. Not really with cards, but that helpless type thing. I don't know what it means though.

It may mean your not drinking enough booze before bed. You're actually sleeping in lieu of passing out. Try drinking more and the dreams will go away.

Let's get this straight:

You're telling me to drink more?

Cool advice, thanks!

Funny think about AMcD's advice: I've got hundreds of decks, but I almost never open a new one. It's got to be like my birthday or something. My cards just hang around in stacks on the bookshelf...all still in cellophane, waiting for their moment to finally be opened.

It's one of my quirks. I've got a few.

Open em up. They are just cards. As we like to say playing Sheepshead; "play the *****, you can't go to bed with it".

Jeff, I hope I was in the dream? At least as a bartender or something. That new pic looks like you are being interviewed on the history channel.

poll: strikes or push off?????

I am so underground you won't even see me in dreams.

Kevin, I just picked a couple of names at random to give the "feel" of the dream. It was probably Mr Z who handed me the cards...to humiliate me.

Look, I love you all, and I have no problem admitting my skills suck.

On the other hand...that makes me special. No one boos at the special Olympics, right?

In all seriousness: here in the Gamblers forum there can be a lot of posturing about who can do what. I come here to learn, as I have for nearly three years. And I still learn. And I don't give a flying squirrel's ovulatory labia swelling whether anyone takes me seriously or not. That's the truth.

Except in my dreams, where all of the sudden my GIANT brief results in a card spread....

Well now, you're quite welcome, son. It's a pleasure to meet someone who understands that to the true gambling spotter, a move is never an end in itself, it's simply a rule, as a giant is to a midget. Good evening.

Now this is very wierd.
I had a very similar dream.
Now I do OK seconds but in the dream I did the same thing as you and bungled the seconds at every attempt.

Oh! I think I was the one that handed you the cards.

For the next dream, keep a puncher besides you .

I had a dream where I had accidently cold decked a bar of soap in on the cut. Surprisingly, when the sucker dealt the bar of soap turned back into a deck of cards, but the cards were oval shaped with a "dove" back design. Someone then started talking about how Kem just started printing this design.

Weird!

What ?

All of the tough-guy gamblers in this forum secretly dream of kittens and rainbows I know it.

I'm so cool when I sleep, sheep count me