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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Looking out for our own » » Depression (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Bill Nuvo
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Thanks for the compliment Destiny.

Yes Plasticdestiny can seem harsh, but often serves up a bowl full of reality.

Often what happens when we are young (heck you can still do it when you are older too! LOL), is that when you fall in love with someone you give yourself fully to that person. This can spell trouble. The person recieving your affections can feel smothered. You may be doing this for various reasons from self-esteem issues to just overzealous joy of being in love.

You must take this as a learning experience (of course you should grieve the loss as well, don't ever deny your right to grieve). Reflect on how you can improve yourself (including interactions as PD suggested). Also reflect on what you do look for in a partner. Often is the case that we are the fault for what happens to us. Some people have trouble with needy partners yet, they seem to attract only those types of people.

I am not saying any of this is particularly you, but to consider such things upon self-reflection.
DanielSteep
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Destiny,

I came out to a select few over a year ago now. Her and I have been together for a while, and she knew befor she even met me that I was Bi.

I realise she has needs too, but the reason she gave to leave was very immature, but I have to learn to deal with it.

As for"Spreading It All Over The Internet" This is the only place.

Have a good day.
Daniel Steep
Destiny
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Hi Daniel,

Sorry I must have sounded harsher than I intended.

I certainly did not mean to chastise you - more to point out some of the grim realities of life.

When I read back over my post 'scattering declarations of your sexuality all over the internet' sounds terribly critical which was not my intention. You seem like a nice guy - but not everyone is and some would take advantage of your situation.
AND I do still worry that a young man,with a career in entertainment ahead of him, should leave a public record of what I promise you are passing adolescent problems.

Anyway I regret adding to your probable feeling that the world is down on you and assure you it does pass - your life is on the threshold of enormous and exciting change, as all we oldies know having been there ahead of you. It will be exciting, challenging, hideous and delightful and I wish you all the best for it. Focus on the better times you know will come once you're through this bad patch and again 0- have another good look at all the good advice posted above.

I'll take that good day you wished me and wish you a great life. Smile

Destiny
Thought farmer
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Today is Thanksgiving in the USA. Reading this topic makes me realize what truly magnificent spirits there are here on The Café. To each of you, a hearty THANK YOU! From all over the world they reach out to someone who is going through a rough spot. We walked on the same sidewalk as one another even though we did not walk in their shoes.
The kind, decent, 1% type of folks that show up in our lives at times like this show up because they care and want to share the best of what was given to them when they had a glitch. Our action is simple, pick up the nuggets of wisdom, the jewels of insight,the pearls of truth and take them into ourselves for our use. We have unlimited use of these and when we have learned from them we will know when it is time to share our experience with another who is ready for it. Thanks to one and all. Thought Farmer.
Eddini_81976
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Wow Daniel sorry bud, and I'm sure you've heard thid, I may not exactly know how you feel, I do to a great deal. Look at my post here. DON'T EVER TRY ANYTHING LIKE IT THOUGH...EVER !!! When I was 17, 10 days before my 18th Birthday my Dad died exactly on his 51st Birthday (8-9-94 R.I.P. Dad, Robert Draughn), and he died right in front of me, I was the last to talk to him, or see him alive. I blamed myself for many years, like if I woke up sooner he would've lived. I woke up and he was literally throwing up blood. He said call 911, I did, he then went to the foot of his bed and coughed up some red stuff. Me fearing I'd get sick left him (I got guilt over that). I have a weak stomach, and I didn't want to be sick when the paramedics came so I waited in the hallway. They came, I took them to his room, by that time he was on the floor hunched over his knees, head tilted and eyes glazed over. They did the paddles...etc. I called my Grandmother as it was like 7:00am or so she came over and at the Hospital the nurse said he passed on the way there. He had, had lung cancer 10 years previous. He went through radiation, and quit his 2 pack a day cigarette habit. He went to a healing prayer meeting, since then his lung gradually turned pinker, though he still had a cough and was on SSI/SSDI since I was like 9. The last 5 months of his life he started coughing bad, and would have to pull over if driving. We new he was sick, but not what from, so it was unexpected. What happened is that he coughed so hard a blood vessel burst and his lungs filled up with blood, and that red spongy tissue he coughed out was his LUNGS LITERALLY. The nurse said ifhe was in the E.R. with 3 top doctors and nurses, they would'nt have been able to save him and not to blame myself.

Sorry I got off topic, but that I can understand, also though I'm straight, issues with sexuality I've had since age 3, and girls leaving you I get. It can be hard, VERY HARD indeed. People are right, try to get some help, even from a Psychiatrist, there's NO SHAME in that or maybe even taking medication if only short term. Medicine CAN and DOES help, BUT do it in combination with therapy. Here in N.H. there is this free group Hospice runs called "Bridges", which is a greif support group for survivors of those who lost people. Father is right, I myself "Home-Taught" have studied Psychiatry and Psychology, and recently Hypnosis, but yes there are 4 stages of grief. Let's see if I get it right, it's Shock, Denial, Anger (I think), then acceptance. I've ALWAYS been better at helping others than myself most are like that though. Check with Hospice as far as support groups, support groups on your sexual orientation, (you are who YOU ARE my friend), and try connecting with your higher power. Try your church or churches, if they put down your sexuality, then to me they are NOT true Christians and find a church that will help. It's like they "HAVE TO" help. Be with friends, don't isolate like me. Also eating right, sleeping enough is important to keep your health up as Depression can affect you physically. As far as your girl.....HER LOSS, adios amigos. Anyway PM me whenever you want. I hoped I've helped a little bit at least. Take Care, God Bless You and Your Loved Ones, Peace and Love my friend, Ed, (Eddini), C.H.
"Treat Others As You'd Want To Be Treated" - Jesus Christ
michaelmystic2003
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Daniel, although I cannot relate to such feelings, you have my full sympathies. You and I have definitely never been the friendliest to each other but I can appreciate when someone is feeling down.

Find yourself an escape... not literal, just sort of an immaterial one. Something that can take you away from your troubles, if only for a while. Your favourite movie, music, books, meditation, or just sitting quietly and thinking positive thoughts. Preferably, do these things alone with absolutely no outside interference. I'm not qualified to give advice or reference techniques for depression elimination, however I wish you the best of luck and hope you get through it all soon.
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DanielSteep
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Michael, Unfortunately finding an escape, just masks over your reall issues, and eventually you will come back to face them...


Ed, thankyou for your words of wisdom, as well as everyone elses but may I put this on the record that the last thing I need right now is preaching or being told to 'find god'. If you are looking for a good read read 'God Is Not Great' it is a very good and enlightening book.

Again I thank everyone, and for now I have my good days and my terrible days, I just have to think that maybe someday I'll pull through
Mr. Mystoffelees
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Daniel:

One word: Lexapro.

Jim
Also known, when doing rope magic, as "Cordini"
Chessmann
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Depression can be an awful thing. I certainly hope that things in your life change for the better.
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
Slim King
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If I were you I'd let my mother know how depressed I've become at times. That's what parents are for Smile
I remember when I was sixteen and I said many things that I'd like to take back now. Think what effect the things you say have on others before you say them. How they react to what you say has a great deal to do with how you feel. So you can avoid some bad feelings by monitoring what you say.

Please continue to seek professional council Smile

I've been deeply depressed lately due to the loss of several very close friends. I wish there was an easy answer but there just isn't a quick fix.

Like that movie "What About Bob"... Baby Steps Smile
THE MAN THE SKEPTICS REFUSE TO TEST FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS.. The Worlds Foremost Authority on Houdini's Life after Death.....
Donald Dunphy
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Quote:
On 2008-10-13 13:53, Father Photius wrote:
Canada has public health, go to a doctor, talk to them.


BTW, a couple of years ago, I was talking with my doctor.

I found out that someone close to me (a family member) had been depressed for several months earlier, and I asked my doctor if he had known about it.

He said no, that she had not told him. (Remember, she had also not told me.)

He told me that if he had known at the time, he would have sent her to counseling, and got her help in other ways. And it would be done quickly, as depression is treated seriously.

So, your doctor may have some resources for you, that you cannot find through other channels.

- Donald
Donald Dunphy is a Victoria Magician, British Columbia, Canada.
munkywrench
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If you are depressed get help. That's it. Go to the Doc and get help. I myself am a disabled vet (PTSD, Depression, Anxiety,etc. and my wife left me when I lost my job) Let your friends and family know because it effects them as well. Try this out for a start http://www.depression.com/ http://www.os.dhhs.gov/ I urge you to get medical help. If I can be of any service let me know, I know how tough it is.
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DanielSteep
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I thank everyone again for their help! Work is looking up around here which is great but my mothers health is not.

She went for a biopsy today. and Friday she goes in for a 4-6 hours nurologey Brain surgery. It's becoming very tough on me as she is basically the only person I have left.
munkywrench
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I'll pray for you. She's not all you have left. We are here for you. Peace.
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DanielSteep
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Shes out of surgery and home. it is a long road to recovery. 3-5 months off of work.

Sha'll be quite the ride.
munkywrench
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Buckle up and don't look at the rearview mirror. You both will do just fine. Keep your chin up. Peace
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