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McAllisterMagic
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After almost a year of being together, I caught my girlfriend cheating. I don't know what to do, she is in complete denial. I was at her house when her mother came down the stairs yelling" That is the most disrespectful thing you have ever done"

" What" my gf said.

" You had sex in my bed, there is lubricant all over my sheets.."

I was there when I heard that, I later found out another guy was over the night before...


Francis
ryansmagic
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Reading, PA
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Francis,
Where to start.......
I assume you are pretty young? Short answer move on. If she is a cheater she is garbage, if she "does it" in her parents bed, she's weird, and if there is lube everywhere neither of them know what they are doing.

Don't waste your time.
Ryan Parsons
[email]ryanparsons@comcast.net[/email]
http://www.magicformiracles.com
martini
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delta, pennsylvania
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Greetings Francis;
Listen to the voices of elders (or is that voices of wisdom?) anyway, a relationship is a bonding built on trust and respect. Since she obviously did not respect that, you can no longer trust her.

Ryan is so right....move on, you do not need the baggage, the drama (and that definately will manifest itself if it has not already), or the broken promises.

You are young and have your whole life ahead of you yet, and there are many young ladies out there who are looking for a trusting and respectful relationship.
Do not make the mistake of trying to salvage what cannot be saved, life is too short to make that mistake.

And remember.....denial is da river in Egypt! (just could not resist it)

If you need someone to talk to, you have friends here on the Café that care, remember you are not alone.
Just my two cents worth, for whatever it is worth.
All the Best
Marty
McAllisterMagic
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You're right but it just really hurts, you think someone loves you as much as you loved them and it turns out like this. I don't understand why someone would do that..
martini
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Greetings Francis;
The world can be cruel, and it will hurt for quite a while, but you need to move on with your life and work on something that will take your mind off it.

Work on a new routine, specially something that you have wanted to learn for some time, but just never got around to learning. Go see a movie with a couple of buds, or go ride a roller coaster.

Do something wild, off the cuff, something you normally would not do. Life is too short to sit around and do nothing or to try to make sense of it all.

I can say to my family that I have bungee jumped, sky dived, went up in a hot air balloon, white water rapids (& I can't swim.lol) & regularly ride roller coasters every chance that I get. Most of this I did after the age of 45 just so I can say that I did it at least once. Nothing helps clear the mind like a good rush of adrenalin.

Hang in there, things will improve.
All the Best
Marty
ryansmagic
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Francis,
I have been married for 1 year, just the other day, see the picture on the left.....
Any way I was talking to a co-worker the other day and he said "I have never cheated or strayed or anything on my wife, and there is no way I could". I told him I respect that way more then if he told me "I slept around behind her back". Everything in life takes time and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Listen to Marty he has some good advice. Maybe I will soak up some of it at the Kutztown Convention, besides I have a jumbo rising deck that needs rebuilt....
Ryan Parsons
[email]ryanparsons@comcast.net[/email]
http://www.magicformiracles.com
Justin Style
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Chicks, man.


Good luck.


Hey Joe where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
SillverFoxx
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Quote:
On 2008-10-16 16:21, Justin Style wrote:
Chicks, man.


Good luck.


Hey Joe where you goin' with that gun in your hand?


Chicks!?

Kay guys can be mean-spirited too... my ex boyfriend informed me that I was *this close* to being perfect enough to marry (picture a guy holding his hand up with thumb and forefinger an inch apart), but that if I'd just wait around for him while he went off to sleep with 5 other girls, he'd excuse my short comings. That was after 6 1/2 years of being together. And that's ONE example of the things he'd tell me. I loved him with all my heart... was very hard when I realized he loved himself too much for there to be any left for me.

Looking back, I guess he was kind of abusive.
Donal Chayce
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Francis, my advice is that you get this book and read it:

http://www.amazon.com/Survive-Loss-Love-......31580439

It's a classic. I first read it when I got dumped in college. That was many years ago, but the stuff in the book is timeless.

I still keep a copy in my library to loan to friend who from time-to-time need it.
DeadDave
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Quote:
On 2008-10-17 18:14, Donal Chayce wrote:
Francis, my advice is that you get this book and read it:

http://www.amazon.com/Survive-Loss-Love-......31580439

It's a classic. I first read it when I got dumped in college. That was many years ago, but the stuff in the book is timeless.

I still keep a copy in my library to loan to friend who from time-to-time need it.


Yeah, but if you start looking into how and why McWilliams died it'll really make you mad...

It does me, anyway.

You may be able to get all his books online for free. He was generous that way.
Justin Style
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Quote:

Chicks!?

Kay guys can be mean-spirited too... my ex boyfriend informed me that I was *this close* to being perfect enough to marry (picture a guy holding his hand up with thumb and forefinger an inch apart), but that if I'd just wait around for him while he went off to sleep with 5 other girls, he'd excuse my short comings. That was after 6 1/2 years of being together. And that's ONE example of the things he'd tell me. I loved him with all my heart... was very hard when I realized he loved himself too much for there to be any left for me.

Looking back, I guess he was kind of abusive.


Okay (not Kay), Chicks, dudes, life mates, partners and cohabitators...

Happy?


Silverfox is usually a MANS monicor, no? I never heard of a woman being refered to as "Silverfox" but then again, I don't get out much...
SillverFoxx
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Hmmm...
'Silver fox' might apply to men, but 'SillverFoxx' is definitely me! Smile
Justin Style
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Maybe it should be SilverFoxy?
SillverFoxx
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On 2008-10-19 07:17, Justin Style wrote:
Maybe it should be SilverFoxy?

Hmmm... that would probably work! Smile
Bill Nuvo
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The breaking down of a relationship can follow along the same path as being with someone who is on their deathbed. Of course they are not the same level, but both have similar steps like anger, denial, blame...This type of event hurts and it sucks. And at this point in your life it probably feels like the worst thing that can happen.

Unlike some of the others who are saying your girlfriend is garbage or baggage, I will say this. Talk to her about your concerns and feelings. Communication is key.

You shouldn't hate her for it, but you definately can be dissappointed. You love her and that love does not end abruptly. In fact you can still carry that love with you for the rest of your life, albeit in a different form/level. All of my ex girlfriends/wife I still care for. 2 of them are actively still in my life. We had a history together, and you cannot escape that history.

So, your choices are to try to communicate with her and see if she will talk about things. You must also realize that even if she is up to communicating about this she may still never tell you why she did it. You then have a choice to try to work with her on improving your relationship or you can choose to end the relationship. Either way you will have learned something.

Don't forget that it is alright to grieve the "death" of a relationship. It is also alright to grieve at the loss of trust.
Dr. Delusion
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Hey Francis. I hope things are getting better for you. I was married for a tad over 5 years and found out my wife was fooling around with a guy at work. We had a 8 month old boy with Autism at the time. We ended up getting a divorce and I ended up with sole custody of our son Chris, mainly because she diden't have time for him. About a year later we tried getting together again, but no luck. With me, once the trust is gone, it's hard to make things work. The good thing is we remained friends. Like Bill said, don't hate her or wish for anything bad to happen to her, it'll just make it harder to get over it. I know it took me a long time to recover, but trust me, things will get better for you. I know now I'm very happy, raising my son and having my magic show and friends, speaking of friends, you have a lot of them here at the Café.
Take care and the best of luck to you.
Bob.
Carrie Sue
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If she can't keep herself pure before marriage, she more likely won't be faithful to you after marriage.

Drop her now and find a respectable girl.

Carrie
www.proximityillusions.com

ASLAN IS ON THE MOVE!
christiancagigal
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Quote:
On 2008-10-20 01:31, SillverFoxx wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-10-19 07:17, Justin Style wrote:
Maybe it should be SilverFoxy?

Hmmm... that would probably work! Smile


Do I sense a Love Connection...?

C

"I'll be back in Two n' Two."



ps
I second all that was said above, especially the book, it helped me too.
"Besides the known and the unknown, what else is there?"-Harold Pinter
www.christiancagigal.com
SillverFoxx
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Quote:
On 2008-10-20 13:15, christiancagigal wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-10-20 01:31, SillverFoxx wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-10-19 07:17, Justin Style wrote:
Maybe it should be SilverFoxy?

Hmmm... that would probably work! Smile


Do I sense a Love Connection...?

C

"I'll be back in Two n' Two."


Ummm... no chance.


Francis:
I'm really sorry your girlfriend did that to you. I think it is one of the worst kinds of betrayal. It doesn't help to have people call her names and tell you to move on... cause you still care for her. Just give yourself time to heal, but don't go back to her; she doesn't deserve a second chance.

Carrie:
You said: "If she can't keep herself pure before marriage, she more likely won't be faithful to you after marriage.

Drop her now and find a respectable girl."

It sounds like you're saying if a person has sex before they're married, that means they'll cheat after they are married. That's a pretty ignorant statement, and one that I would vehemently disagree with.
SillverFoxx
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Quote:
On 2008-10-20 13:15, christiancagigal wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-10-20 01:31, SillverFoxx wrote:
Quote:
On 2008-10-19 07:17, Justin Style wrote:
Maybe it should be SilverFoxy?

Hmmm... that would probably work! Smile


Do I sense a Love Connection...?

C

"I'll be back in Two n' Two."


Ummm... no chance.


Francis:
I'm really sorry your girlfriend did that to you. I think it is one of the worst kinds of betrayal. It doesn't help to have people call her names and tell you to move on... cause you still care for her. Just give yourself time to heal, but don't go back to her; she doesn't deserve a second chance.

Carrie:
You said: "If she can't keep herself pure before marriage, she more likely won't be faithful to you after marriage.

Drop her now and find a respectable girl."

It sounds like you're saying if a person has sex before they're married, that means they'll cheat after they are married. That's a pretty ignorant statement, and one that I would vehemently disagree with.
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