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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Closing Lines (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Daniel Faith
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Neenah, Wisconsin
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I like to leave them with a thought and a challenge to "Be a miracle to someone". It's the last words they hear.
Daniel Faith
CWMoss
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"The show's over....stop looking at me!"
magicgeorge
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Belfast
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"You've been a great audience give yourselves a standing ovation" Not sure who said that.

My favourite ever ending to a show was not a magician but a comedian from Scotland called Phil Kay.
He's quite a physical comic and very funny to watch. He stated that although the old showbiz rule is to leave 'em laughing his granny always said "never leave them laughing" because she was a bit mad. He then told everyone that he wanted complete silence to leave to and tried to get everyone to stop laughing. This took about 5 minutes. Every time he got close to silence someone would giggle and his looks of desperation, sighs and shhhs set everyone off again. When he finally managed complete silence he just hared off stage as fast as his legs could carry him and everyone fell about.
Unfortunately physical comedy doesn't translate well into written form but watching him do this was just pure genius. Honestly, pure genius, trust me.
themagicofjoseph
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Oh my...a standing ovulation!
prospero
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Elsewhere
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Yeah, I agree with a lot of the people here. Finish on a laugh, comedy-perfect trick, make a one-liner, and leave the stage. Torn and restored newspaper is great for comedy--heck, the Deputy Director of the CIA did it at a lecture and HE got a laugh. So there ya go.
avimagic
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Hollywood, Florida
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I once saw a juggler who ended by saying "I'd like to thank my parents for making this possible and my children for making it necessary."
Ron Reid
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Phoenix, Arizona
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I had a show Saturday night, and used Cody's ending. Thanks for sharing, Cody; it worked out real nice for me.

ron
Jimmy Vee
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Jimmy Vee
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Whisper into the mic... When the end of the show comes... I'll let you all know, OK??? Try and get a reaction... Keep saying Ok until they all say Ok or nod. Then say... Ok... that's the end. Good Night... You can clap now!

Haven't used this... but I just came up with it...

Could be funny... but I like really stupid comedy.
John Breeds
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England
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For adults:

I'd like to thank you for having me. But for those of you who haven't had me yet I'll be out in the car park for the next 20 minutes!

For children (at Christmas time or Thanksgiving):

It just remains for me to wish you lots of lovely presents. But much more than lovely presents, lots of presence of love.

Cheers
John Breeds
Count Zapik
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UK
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I use some of the old great ones because they are still the best.

There's a good line in Toy Story:

"Back to your lives citizens the show's over."

But here are a couple of new ones, they're a bit screwy and smarmy, and have been used in a two person act.

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight you have seen standing ovation material, don't be shy we seek your approval."

"If you would like to see us again just dial in 'Pink Dreams to remember' as you go off to sleep tonight." [Bow]

I have used them because I just find them so sickly amusing, and I deliver them with a dry, ironic look. For gods sake don't pretend you really mean the sentiment, especially for a UK audience, (they often go for irony in a big way, Brits seem to know how to warp humour to an extreme, I reckon).

Count Zapiko
I feel as if I have been whisked here from another life....it may even have been my own!
Bill Palmer
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Eternal Order
Only Jonathan Townsend has more than
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Quote:
On 2003-04-27 01:38, Andrew E. Miller wrote:
Magicians are using other magicians' prized lines now? Whoa. I have seen SO many magicians say that line and it is only funny when Greg Wilson does it. Most likely because he is the creator of that line.

Andrew

Back during the Great Folk Scare of the 1960's, my group, the Bayou City Boys was working at the Jester Lounge in Houston (where John Denver was discovered) and the Kingston Trio came in after a show at the Shamrock Hotel.

I closed our act with, "Thank you very much—remember, if you liked our act, we are the Bayou City Boys. And if you didn't like our act... we are the Kingston Trio!"

The guys thought that was very funny.

I thought I had originated the line. Found out later that it had been used in vaudeville.

So, unless Greg Wilson is 90 years old, he did not originate that line.

One of my favorite closers, if I am the last act on the bill is this (and you may use it, if you wish, because I don't know where it came from), "When you leave tonight, remember there are people on the road who have been drinking. Some of you, may, in fact, be intoxicated. It is far more difficult to hit a fast-moving target, so drive like a bat out of Hell and get home safe!"
"The Swatter"

Founder of CODBAMMC

My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups."

www.cupsandballsmuseum.com
The Mighty Fool
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I feel like a big-top tent having
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"Goodnight folks, and remember, no matter where you go...there you are!"

"If you enjoyed my performance, please tip generously! If you did NOT enjoy the performance, tip generously anyway...no point in BOTH of us leaving disappointed!"

"Please enjoy your evening, and remember, appreciate us street-magicians...we're the only thing that keeps the mimes off the streets!"
Everybody wants to beleive.....we just help them along.
Smudge
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I end by saying, "Thanks for laughing at me tonight, because I laughed at you when you walked in."

The other line I use just before that one is, "To us entertainers your laughter and applause is like food, and I'd like to thank you for that mini sausage roll."
cpatchett
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My current prediction is that I have
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"Thanks, you guys have been a great audience. You girls have been even better!"

Craig
Magician: Someone willing to spend $15 to learn how to make $1 disappear.
Smudge
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I've got to as I have another show in December.

You've been a challenge and you've won.

Thanks for being a great crowd, I just wish I had a better act.
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