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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Not very magical, still... » » What does a tennis teacher look like? (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Vandy Grift
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I just chalk this one up under "bizzare conversations", but it made me wonder.

I ran into a lady from my condo complex and we had the following discussion.

Lady: Did you teach much tennis today?

Me (offguard): Im sorry?

Her (enunciating each word): Did you teach much tennis today?

Me (perplexed): Teach tennis?

Her: Yes. You're a tennis teacher aren't you?

Me: No ma'am. I don't even play tennis.

Her: Oh. Well you look like a tennis teacher.

Mind you. It's not like I'm standing there in white short-shorts, a Fila shirt, and wearing head and wristbands. I'm wearing my middle aged white unifrom of kahaki pants and an oxford shirt or whatever.

What would make someone say that? What would make you assume that someone teaches tennis of all things? Is that weird or is it just me?
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
Dannydoyle
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Vandy now that I think of it, if I had to try to picture a tennis teacher, you are pretty much exactly the OPPOSITE of what comes to mind.

I never tried to picture one before, but really man, you are not what I am imagining.

But in all fairness the tennis teacher I am thinking of has boobs, so that lets you right out.
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Vandy Grift
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Lol!

I would think you could ask 10,000 people to guess what I did for a living and not one of them would guess "tennis teacher". Who would guess that for anybody if they weren't wearing the aforementioned, sterotypical, tennis outfit?

It's one of the strangest conversations I've ever had. I don't think she was drunk or anything, but I gotta wonder. lol!

Maybe she is an amatuer mentalist who isn't very good at cold reading? Or just takes wild stabs looking for that one big hit?
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
Eddie Garland
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I've seen this before...the lonely Condo Lady and the Tennis instructor.
Perhaps she wants you to teach her to play Tennis...nudge nudge wink wink.
The game of Love?
Chessmann
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This was my first thought, too.
My ex-cat was named "Muffin". "Vomit" would be a better name for her. AKA "The Evil Ball of Fur".
Jimeh
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Quote:
On 2008-12-10 18:25, Eddie Garland wrote:
I've seen this before...the lonely Condo Lady and the Tennis instructor.
Perhaps she wants you to teach her to play Tennis...nudge nudge wink wink.
The game of Love?


((MUSIC SLOWLY CREEPS IN))

Bow wow wah chicka chicka wah wah chicka wowwwwww
Chicka bow chicka wow wow bow chicka wah chicka wowwwwww.
Vandy Grift
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OMG! Are you telling me I could have tapped that but I was too clueless to read the signs? Story of my life.

It takes balls to play tennis. Takes even more balls to go knee deep on an elderly woman who may or may not be borderline delusional. I'll not only teach tennis, I'll PLAY at Wimbelton before I'd go there.

If it was a come on, it was a creative one. Never heard that one before. lol!
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
Eddie Garland
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Put down that Racquet you big lob and jump over the net.
stoneunhinged
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Vandy, there is no other explanation. She wanted a private lesson, and you failed to give it to her.

Have you never seen a porno movie in your entire life?

I suppose you've never played with yourself either.

I mean, never played tennis with yourself. Playing tennis with yourself is hard to do.
Justin Style
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Boy Vandy, I know you mid-western'ers are slow but COME ON! Sounds like she served you a lob over the net and you let it fly right by!


Next time buddy...next time.
Vandy Grift
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Ha! Not an option. There isn't enough beer, pot, heroin, and/or cough medicine in the world.

Besides she screwed up the play. She could ahve asked me if I was a cage fighter, or a Drill Instructor, or even a Bull Rider. But she tries to butter me up by asking if I'm a tennis teacher? A tennis teacher?

Now that I think about, I don't think she was coming on to me at all. I think she was trying to find out if I'm gay. Why else would you ask someone that? Wow, now I'm really confused.
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
MAKMagic
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Justin - EXACTLY! Vandy - she just wanted to play with your balls.

Danny D! I am RIGHT with you bro!!! Here is my tennis instructor...

Image


She's so hot it makes me want to cry
.:Michael Kelley
On the Level, By the Square
Lyndel
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Vandy,

I see a letter coming on... It starts with: Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, but the other day...
Image
Vandy Grift
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You know what? Screw it, next time I'm taking a shot. You only live once right? I'm pretty sure she has full dentures, not a real tooth in her head I'll bet. I've always wondered...
"Get a life dude." -some guy in a magic forum
Doug Higley
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What heppened to not an option?
Higley's Giant Flea Pocket Zibit
Jimeh
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Apparently he's found enough beer, pot, heroin, and/or cough medicine.
Dannydoyle
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Quote:
On 2008-12-10 19:30, MAKMagic wrote:
Justin - EXACTLY! Vandy - she just wanted to play with your balls.

Danny D! I am RIGHT with you bro!!! Here is my tennis instructor...

Image


She's so hot it makes me want to cry


Now were talking tennis!
Danny Doyle
<BR>Semper Occultus
<BR>In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act....George Orwell
Destiny
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What a coincidence - Sarah Silverman hit me up for a ----, but it turned out she just wanted a tennis lesson.

Destiny
kregg
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"Yes. You're a tennis teacher aren't you?"

No mam but I do have fuzzy balls.
POOF!
Matt Watts
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That tennis instructor makes me want to learn to play...I just don't think I could focus on the tennis though.
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