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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Cowboy Logic (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

Neznarf
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Inner circle
NY then AZ now
1818 Posts

Profile of Neznarf
Cowboy Logic . . . . . .

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.

If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It doesn't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be
suprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around
by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important
to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in
your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.
"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain."
nathanallen
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Special user
Des Moines, Iowa, USA
522 Posts

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Bravo. Sure beats Foxworthy.
Nathan Allen, The Maniac of Magic
www.maniacofmagic.com

To buy a prop is nothing.
To write a good routine is something.
To really entertain an audience is everything.
Mr. Mystoffelees
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Inner circle
I haven't changed anyone's opinion in
3615 Posts

Profile of Mr. Mystoffelees
If there's 3 in the truck, take the middle seat. You don't have to drive, you don't have to get the gates, and you control the radio.

Don't get into a mud fight with a pig - you both get dirty, but the pig likes it.

Never look back- 'less that's where you want to go.

Never argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there.

If your mouth is shut, there is never a reason for your feet to leave the ground.
Also known, when doing rope magic, as "Cordini"
Father Photius
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Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17197 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
Don't squat with your spurs on.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
nathanallen
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Special user
Des Moines, Iowa, USA
522 Posts

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Brokeback Mountain ain't funny.
Nathan Allen, The Maniac of Magic
www.maniacofmagic.com

To buy a prop is nothing.
To write a good routine is something.
To really entertain an audience is everything.
joseph
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Eternal Order
Please ignore my
16998 Posts

Profile of joseph
It's all very simple, keep your mind in the middle while your butt spins round and round.
Skate boards are cool, but bulls are better...
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler." (Einstein)...
Southwest Sam
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New user
Indiana
59 Posts

Profile of Southwest Sam
Don't Drop Y'er Gun To Hug A Grizzly

Trust Everyone In The Game, But Always Cut The Deck

and

When The Chips Are Down....The Buffalo's Empty

~Sam
Now performing as...
-Suitcase Sam
& his Ukulele
Music ~ Comedy ~ Magic
www.facebook.com/SuitcaseSam
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
11208 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
Being in a country where we do not have any cowboys, I wouldn't know how to contribute to this thread. However I find this thread hilarious. Thanks for the good laugh.
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