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Decomposed
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Eternal Order
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"Hello, may I speak to the Owner of the business?"

Your answer options:

1) "The owner told me to tell you he isn't taking any calls."

2) "The owner is in jail"

3) "He just went through a bitter divorce and will only take calls from men"


The marketers are getting very clever. One called me the other day and ask how I was doing, this is Clay or something from a close town. He caught me off guard.

I used one this one the other morning:

Maam this is the scene of a homicide. I need to know how you know Mr ******* and your DOB, address and other pertinent information.

That was a pretty good one but this woman was super calm and collected.
Steve_Mollett
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Eh, so I've made
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Never mind that, let me tell you about The Great Old Ones...

Posted: Jan 14, 2009 7:04pm
Never mind that, let me tell you about Scientology...
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
TheDean
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I'll listen to YOUR Pitch if you listen to MINE... I'll start; Maybe you have heard of Amway Products... (Hehehehe…)

Funny thing is... true story, I actually have listen to them (not for too long and when I have the time) and see if there is anything I can LEARN from them (about marketing... with-out letting them know) and then I have actually pitch them (asking for their boss) on a sales training... I have gotten a few, (3) not a LOT, but definitely worth investing the time to date for me anyway.

I am at your service and in HIS Service,
Deano in Reno
<><
Dean Hankey, *M.D. - The Dean of Success Solutions!
Serving & Supporting YOU and Your Success!
"Book More Shows... Make More Money... SERVE MORE PEOPLE! - Not Necessarily In That Order…"

(*Marketing Doctor) Smile
Lyndel
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I absolutely LOVE telemarketers!

I come up with things that are so outlandish for my responses. My ultimate goal is to get THEM to hang up on ME!

It has the side benefit of keeping my ad-libbing skills sharp too!


Lyndel
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Circus Bambouk
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From what I understand, the telemarketers can get penalized for hanging up on a prospective customer, unless you get rude, vulgar or too outlandish. So, walk the line, and see what happens.

If you have the time, see how long you can drag it out. The longer they're on with you, the less they make in commissions.

Or you can always just be honest: Once I asked a telemarketer how her job made her feel as a human; did she feel she was contributing positively or negatively to society, and I listed off all the ways she was ruining my day. I told her that I tried to make people laugh and smile when I'm at work, and to be non-intrusive, respectful of others' time and space.

She began to cry. Not one of my prouder moments, but I wasn't really in a good place that day.
Paddy
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I have asked women telemarketers very embarrassing questions hopeing to get them to hang up. A couple of times I had my questions answered, then they went right into the pitch again. I still had to hang up on them so now I just hang up.
Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis

I reject your reality & substitute my own

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montymagi
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I tell them something like "dude I hear ya but before we can talk I need you to get on the phone with my wife and tell her that you were there last night and I was not with anyone. Man you do this for me and I will listen to whatever you want just help me out....come on...hello?"
RJE
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So what do you do if the telemarketer is selling tickets to the touring magic show that is raising funds for the firefighters (ala Murray Hatfield)?

Or if they're selling tickets to the variety extravaganca that features a magician and is raising funds for some other charity?

Both of these are quite common in my neck of the woods. And, as to the latter example, I perform in these quite frequently.
mrmagic9112
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I usually give some fake sobbing noises and then tell them I can't believe they would call on a day like today when mybusiness just burned down last night! They usually say I am sorry and hang up!
James Munton
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I can't believe some of the replies here.

Some of you have way too much time on your hands and some of you are just unfunny jerks.

These are just people trying to earn a living. Usually they are not the brightest and best. But they are working crappy hours for crappy pay and doing the best they can.

We are all sales people in one form or another. When I phone a potential customer I hate it when they are rude to me. It is so unnecessary.

If you politely say you are not interested and they continue talking, they are not being rude. That is just what they are trained to do. Just say "thank you' and hang up.

And like Dean says, it is sometimes possible to learn something. Even if it is what NOT to do!
Dan Paulus
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When I'm in the mood for a laugh, My favorite is to wait until they get to the price then respond with shock!

"...and today only we're offering a special introductory price of only $49.99.."
.."OH MY GOD!!"

They will pause here, because how they should respond to this isn't in their script. Often, I'll hear them laugh at this point, then calmly say, "Well, thank you for your time. Have a nice day sir."
They get a laugh, and I don't have to hear the rest of their pitch!

When I was about 20 I lived in an apartment complex that was frequently approached by vacuum salesmen. Usually I would tell them that I owned an Industrial Strength Ride-On Vaccume Cleaner and doubted that they could beat the cleaning power.

Once, a particularly persistent vacuum cleaner salesman still wanted to test his vacuum against my ride-on and showed me a free steak knife that I could have just for watching his demonstration.
... I asked him to wait by the door a moment, then went in to my magic room and retrieved the large blade from my French Arm Chopper. I opened the door and said, "THIS! is what I received for testing the ride-on vacuum!"
The guys mouth dropped!

I wasn't rude, just humorous, and I gave him a great story to recant at the end of his day.
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. - Aristotle
Aristotle

www.danscomedymagic.com
RJE
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As I mentioned James, this is the way a lot of my shows are sold. These particular shows have also provided and continue to provide income for dozens of performers. Not to mention the hundred's of thousands, or more, of dollars raised for the various charities the shows were held for over the years.

It bothers me as well that some people choose to think another person's job should be subject to ridicule. The person on the phone is trying to make a living. How difficult is it to say, "No thank you," at any time and just hang up.

I believe in Canada there is a "No phone list" that will take you off most telemarketer's call lists. I believe charities are excempt from this list. I do not know how the system works in other countries. But, if the calls bother you, change the system. The person on the other end of the line has nothing to do with it.
TrickyRicky
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Quote:
On 2009-01-15 07:08, Lyndel wrote:
I absolutely LOVE telemarketers!

I come up with things that are so outlandish for my responses. My ultimate goal is to get THEM to hang up on ME!
It has the side benefit of keeping my ad-libbing skills sharp too!
Lyndel


Great stuff Lyndel.
I never thought of it that way ---to get them to hang up.
I should try that next time.
TrickyRicky
martin king
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Go here... http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=oTugjssqOT0 and look how he suggests to deal with telemarketers. (It's at 34.07!)
TomBoleware
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"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, are you a stranger?"
Let em laugh and after a bit start shouting, "I got a stranger on the phone." Hang up.


Actually I try to be nice, but it's very hard when you get several calls every single day. The no call thing doesn't apply to business phones, only home phones. Most are jerks that's been told to not take no for an answer. If I bought half of the pitches I would be broke and out of business in a month.

Tom
Do What Others Do And You Will Become Average

The Daycare Magician Book
www.amazekids.com/magic-downloads/childrens-magic-ebooks/the-daycare-magician/

Tom Boleware
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Cody Moynihan
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Take a look at what this guy did to a telemarketers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI
Cody
TheDean
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Dude... that was funny!




WARNING, OPINION & EXPERIANCE AHEAD:
Unsolicited Sales Calls are Tantamount to Phone SPAM! Like it or not!

Believe me, I UNDERSTAND the phone-room (boiler-room, if you like) business. I have several incredibly successful phone rooms and phone-room show tours over the early years.

I will say that the REASON we were so successful was because we trained our people to be highly respectful and ask for permission all along the process... after that we worked almost exclusively from the proven taps, but make mo mistake about it... even if you make money with a phone room show, IT IS PHONE SPAM and “most of the time” it is all but an annoying interruption.

…and YES, even in Canada! I was on the tour with Murray the year BEFORE he actually GOT the tour himself when he was a guest act with Brenda Fox 20 something years ago… I GET IT!

That was NOT one of MY tours or operations, but it was a phoned show regardless… as it is to this very day.

YES, I understand that the laws that follow us here in the USA have not caught up with our Northern friends and so they still rely heavily on the old boiler-room system still… a bit archaic as far as I’m concerned and still just as annoying for most receivers as is demonstrated by the fun some like to have at their expense, but interrupting people at home is just as annoying and obnoxious.

Understand, I 'get' that we were one of those JERKS (well over 20 years ago now…) that would interrupt you at dinner time (Even if we did it nicely…) cuz we were on a mission to help raise money for a worthy organization and cause and the show tour, BUT we were clear, it was inevitably an intrusion and interruption at best and in most cases, especially if it was the FIRST TIME!

Sad but true!

I eventually stopped and moved to a more effective, less obnoxious, obtrusive, invasive system, but I was just as guilty as every other phone sales-person.

I am NOT saying this a license to be mean to people trying to f other job, but truth be told… it is a crappy job if your job is to bug and annoy people at home during the personal time!

Sorry… my opinion. (Certainly on that I am NOT alone in ether…) Some may not LIKE it, but it IS the most commonly held perception.

Frankly as professional performers, WE CAN DO BETTER! We are in the creative arts, so why do we still apply the old, interruptive phone room strategies long since we understand how many people we pull out of their personal lives for an Obnoxious SALES CALL… we should know better by now!

There are a TON of even more effective and powerful ways to get the job done with-out having to annoy people with-out their permission and with-out interrupting their personal lives at home.

I could no longer selfishly rationalize that what we were doing (no matter how respectfully) was right… it wasn’t! I instantly closed all of my VERY Profitable operations working (over 20-25 years ago now…) at the height of their success (just missing the phone room crash here in the U.S. – Lucked out there… I had no idea that was going to happen either) because I came to the unadulterated realization that it was wrong. – Again, for ME.

I forced myself to develop other ways to accomplish the same outcome… and I did!

The delightfully surprising and funny-thing is, the NEW systems worked MUCH better that all the phoning put together and with-out having to annoy and interrupt people at home while they are simply trying to live their lives, quietly, at home.

Win, Win, Win… and MORE!

I sleep better at night knowing I am helping more people by being less intrusive and generating bigger, better RESULTS for all parties involved.

I think is way past ‘high-time’ that others do the same, but that is MY opinion! I can assume that others here would appreciate a little creative application to this problem as well…

NO MORE ANNOYING PHONE SPAM Please!

There ARE other ways… lots of them.

Just my .02cents worth

I am at your serviced and in HIS Service,
Deano (dislikes Phone Spam) in Reno
<><
Dean Hankey, *M.D. - The Dean of Success Solutions!
Serving & Supporting YOU and Your Success!
"Book More Shows... Make More Money... SERVE MORE PEOPLE! - Not Necessarily In That Order…"

(*Marketing Doctor) Smile
jlibby
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And now my 2 cents (which is the current value of my 401K):

I've politely told telemarketers I wasn't interested and hung up, ONLY TO HAVE THEM CALL BACK IMMEDIATELY AND START PITCHING AGAIN! This has happened to me a couple of times.

With all due respect to any dissenting opinions, that crosses the line from sales call to harrassment and makes them fair game, in my book. Time to make them regret your number ever came up on the autodialer.

Joe Libby
San Antonio, TX
International Motivational Speaker & Entertainer; Helps you get ROCK-STAR RESULTS for your event!

For your gifts and free trainings, visit:
https://JoeLibbySeminars.com
montymagi
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My problem is I don't have a home phone so anytime a telemarketer calls me it cost me cell phone min.
Steve_Mollett
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Quote:
On 2009-01-16 13:03, James Munton wrote:
Some of you have way too much time on your hands and some of you are just unfunny jerks.


And some have avatars that look like Elwood Blues trying to do high-pressure encyclopedia sales.

Life's a bear.
Author of: GARROTE ESCAPES
The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.
- Albert Camus
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