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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
A man is sitting on the train to New York when he says Einstein. He says "Excuse me, does New York stop at this train?"
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. |
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puppeterry Regular user Sanger, CA 114 Posts |
The university departments had a flower show and my friend said, "That one must be the entry from the math department."
"How can you tell?" "It's the one with square roots." They don't get better--only faster TV Mc Arthur Fresno County Public Library The Librician
TV Mc Arthur
The Librician Fresno (CA) County Public Library "They don't get better.....just faster." |
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ClintonMagus Inner circle Southwestern Southeast 3997 Posts |
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt! Theorem. A cat has nine tails. Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails. Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four... A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?" "Of course not, dear - I love you much more!" Happy, although skeptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!" Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok... Let epsilon be greater than zero..." Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
Things are more like they are today than they've ever been before...
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Magnus Eisengrim Inner circle Sulla placed heads on 1053 Posts |
Induction proof that all men are bald.
1. If a man has zero hairs he is bald. 2. Assume that a man with k hairs is bald. 3. Assign k+1 hairs to the man in 2. If the man in 2 is bald, then with only one more hair he would still be bald, since everyone gains and sheds more than that every day, and it has no effect on their baldness. Therefore all men are bald.
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity.--Yeats |
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Nosher Loyal user 261 Posts |
Plaque over a hotel bed in Des Moines : Heisenberg might have slept here.
Escapemaster-in-chief from all sorts of houdingplaces - Finnegans Wake
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
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Nosher Loyal user 261 Posts |
Q. How can you tell the difference between and introverted mathematician* and an extroverted mathematician?
A. The extroverted mathematician* is staring at the other guy's shoes... *flavour to taste.
Escapemaster-in-chief from all sorts of houdingplaces - Finnegans Wake
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
It's only a REAL nerdy joke if only a few people get them!
The Dennis Miller Ratio! Quote:
Comic Book Guy: I am hardly a nerd. Would a nerd have an irreverant t-shirt like this |
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NJJ Inner circle 6437 Posts |
Asexual reproduction is for pansies.
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