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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Comedy fill-ins or funny one-liners (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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Harry the Clown
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Smile In your magic show it's always great to say a funny joke, one-liner or a fill-in. Here's one I use and I hope you can share one with us!

At the beginning of your show you say,
"someone tried breaking into my car." You wait a second, then you say "that's all right, I caught them RED Handed" as you pull out a red plastic hand—its funny!

Hope to hear from you
:kermit:
Cabrera
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Seattle
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Walk out onto the stage with a bag of sunflower seeds, have one already in your mouth. Take it out and say, "In high school I was voted most likely to succeed!" Hope you get it.
"The quilt of life is woven with many different threads"
Shadow Dancer
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Melbourne, Australia
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There are some really good one liners if you do a general search on Google for "magicness". The web site has a really bad pic on the front, but inside has a whole page of one-liners. Enjoy!
'The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.'
<br> AlbertEinstein
The Donster
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Dancer what is the web site for Magicness? I tried searching but I'm not sure what site it is out of 300. Don,
Andini
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Columbus, OH
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I have a couple of little magic booklets that are devoted to one-liners. Here are the ones I've got:

Make 'Em Laugh by Aldo Colombini
and
Sleight of Foot In Mouth by Harry Allen.

I like Harry Allen's better but both of them have some good stuff!

-Andini Smile Smile
cardfreakhk
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Hong Kong SAR
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I live in Hong Kong. So, are those books suitable for me?

I would like to see some one-liner books.
Please recommend some to me, thanks a lot for the time.

Michael Lam
Don't just dream, stay awake and action!
Jim Snack
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For a downloadable ebook of one-liners for magicians, check out

http://chiccaneryoneliners.com

It's brand new.

Jim Snack

"Helping Magicians Succeed"
http://success-in-magic.com
Jim Snack

"Helping Magicians Succeed with Downloadable Resources"
www.success-in-magic.com
Harry the Clown
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Try http://www.lotsofjokes.com
Lots of good stuff here!
naturalturn
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Heard this one the other day that I thought was quite funny if delivered correctly, tho not sure of its origin...

"I performed this card trick for the President of the United States.... (pause)

Actually,... he SAID he was the President of the United States.... (pause) well, no, that wasn't quite right either... to tell you the TRUTH... his exact words were...

IF YOU'RE A MAGICIAN!?... then... (let audience or spectator fill in the rest of the line in his/her mind)"

Cheers!

naturalturn (Ray)

http://www.raywongmagic.com
When Magic Went WONG!
www.facebook.com/RayWongMagic
When Magic Went WONG!
Bananafish
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Simon Shaw, Suffolk, England
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I sometimes use a line I read in (I think) Linking Rings magazine.

"Did you think that last trick was good?"
"But did you think it was great?"
"Well what I am going to show you next is a little greater".

At which point I pull out of my pocket my miniture garlic grater. It looks like a regular cheese grater, only its about an inch tall.

I'm pretty sure that it was Peter Marucci's idea, but I'll have to check on that.
Peter Marucci
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"I'm pretty sure that (the little grater) was Peter Marucci's idea, but I'll have to check on that."

Bananafish,
Thanks for remembering! It appeared in my September, 1999 Showtime column in the Linking Ring magazine.

And I still use it!

But, as I said then, it's not original with me; I gave credit then (and now) to Gary Purdue of New Mexico. The concept appeared in a December, 1997, Ring report from Rind 90 out of Albuquerque, N.M.

cheers,
Peter Marucci
majorshaw
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Randy Shaw
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Remember just saying lines doen't make it funny. it's timing, where to put it, (fron-middle or at the end) then you should be that same person
R.Shaw

AIMC with Silver Star
illuzns
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My Room in Va.
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One of my personal favorites to use during a show while doing a sucker effect where the trick seems to not work is...
"It's like my dad use to always say... If at first you don't succeed,(Pause)... Then failure just might be your thing..."

I also have a line that I use when I have a spectator sign a card with a Shapie marker. I generally will have my back facing them and say "Be sure to let me know when you are done, (Pause) Or this could be a really long trick..." Then I turn around and say
"It's very important I get my marker back...(Pause)
You know why???(pause)... because it's my magic marker."
This never fails to get a laugh.
Have fun with it.
Your friend in magic,
Illuzns
sweiss
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I hope that I'm not taking you in a lame direction, but I think it is funny when the magician says "According to my wife's husband ....."
Stephen Weiss, owner
New Planet Online Magic Shop
http://www.newplanetmagic.com
procy
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Don,

The site for Magicness one liners is

http://www.members.tripod.com/cheelman/minky.html

Just managed to find it with a bit of searching hope this helps

simon
Daniel Faith
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Magicness is a joke. I saw nothing usable.
Daniel Faith
JesterMan
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Maryland, USA
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Before we really get started on my finale, I have begun to do a little hit and run line on the kids, to some pretty good response.

I build up that we are going to practice this last thing so that we can get it right... it is a bit bigger than the others, and it is important to finish well. We are doing this FOR the birthday child... So, I tell them that it is something we must practice, kind of like a fire drill (They can relate to that, as they do it in school). I repeat, so remember, this is only a drill, and again... "This is only a drill", at which point I pull out a small wind-up drill, timing it so that they realize what I have in my hand on the word, "drill". Buh dump bump... I know, a groaner to be sure, but they laugh.
JM Smile Smile

Balloons, Magic, Mayhem & More!
www.AArdvarkEntertainers.com
www.JesterMan.com

"... destined to take the place of the MudShark in your mythology... " FZ
jkvand
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Quote:
On 2004-02-22 07:16, Peter Marucci wrote:
"I'm pretty sure that (the little grater) was Peter Marucci's idea, but I'll have to check on that."

Bananafish,
Thanks for remembering! It appeared in my September, 1999 Showtime column in the Linking Ring magazine.

And I still use it!

But, as I said then, it's not original with me; I gave credit then (and now) to Gary Purdue of New Mexico. The concept appeared in a December, 1997, Ring report from Rind 90 out of Albuquerque, N.M.

cheers,
Peter Marucci
showtimecol@aol.com


Hi Peter,
I'm hoping you can clear something up for me - I enjoy your Linking Ring columns as well as the posts you have here. I often see little quips and one liners in your patter (the vindshield viper, the cheese grater, etc.), and I think they're funny in the right setting and if they're presented right. BUT, I also have often seen you post in these forums about the evils of using 'canned' patter, and I remember you saying that canned patter always sounds canned, and should be avoided at all costs. So, what is the deal? All of these one liners you use (some of which are probably yours, but as in the quote above, you also borrow from others) sound pretty canned to me, but I think they can be funny. To use canned patter, or not to use it? You seem to contradict yourself on this matter. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding you, though. Please let me know your thoughts. Respectfully, Jeff
NJJ
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What is our obsession with PUNS!?

Where is the satire? The observation humour? The wit?

There is many type of humour, must we focus on the cheeseiest?

:)
Trois
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Myrtle Beach
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Yes magicness was pretty weak. Doesn't quite get it, or am I just getting too old ?
Not clever enough to come up with something orginal, or did I.
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