This is "Cate Blanchett Wants To Be My Friend on Facebook", a short play by Alex Broun, hand selected by yours truly and presented for my drama class . I'm Barry, the guy in the tacky suit. Please enjoy and share your thoughts!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/video......2&ref=mf

Michael Kras

Cue MagicSanta in 5...4...3...2...1...

I couldn't make it through the whole thing. What is it with those kids? Why can't they stand with their feet pointing forward? That is the problem with small populations, the family trees stop forking if ya know what I mean. Now excuse me I have to go poke my wife with a coat hanger just to be sure.

I'm afraid I do not understand what you mean.

It is, after all, a grade 10 drama class.

I've heard the name Cate Blanchett before, why would someone pick her as the subject of a face book play? Why would someone do a face book play? I'd think a grade tener, or what we in the tropics call 10th grade or Sophmore year, would want that Myli (sp?) girl or Britneys little sister or maybe the Jonas Brothers as their love interest, but Cate Blanchett? Why not the woman from Murder She Wrote? Here, I'll write a play for you:

Sibling Rivalry: A playette by Magic Santa, performance rights granted to grade 10 drama at whatever school Michael attends.

Characters:

Michael will play:

Rush: A grade ten student struggling with his parents not getting along

Raoul as:

Ricky Triumph: A grade ten student who is close, very close, I'm talking VERY close to Rush

Any girl as:

Brandi Whine: A grade ten drama student who can't wait to move to downtown Van Cover, or what they call 'Little Hollywood', so she can begin her career as an actress, typically for $60 Canadian a night.

Scene: A table in the Caféteria off from the rest of the students and behind a pole reducing the chance of objects being thrown and hitting them.

Rush: (leaning back in his chair, his raspberry beret tilted in a manner similar to how the lead star in Legally Blond wore it) Dudes, I'm so bummed oot, eh

Ricky: (holding a loaf of french bread, absent mindedly rubbing it just to feel the texture of the crust) What is wrong Rush? I knew there was something a'boot you today that was....distressing....I know you so well! (giggles)

Rush: (Pulls out a deck of cards and practices his double lift) Yes, you do know me (a quick smile crosses Rush' face, then returns to a pout), it's my parents, they are disagreeing a'boot the same old thing.....sometimes they elevate their voices a bit in an aggressive manner, that could result in them being sent for reprogramming. I don't know what to do.

Ricky: (leaning forward and banging the table with his french bread for emphasis) It isn't about you Rush! Darn them any hoo! Oh, here comes Brandi! He's cool! No wait, I mean she's cool!

Brandi (arrives at the table in a new bright red pancho) Hi guys! Are you ready for drama class? Today we get to try out for Grease! (looking at Rush) Who you going to try oot for loverboy?

Rush: (snorting in disgust) I'm Rush not loverboy, I'm not trying oot, I've problems and don't know what to do (fans cards and directs them toward Brandi) Say, wanna see something that will trancend your mind?

Brandi (leaning back and doing her best head wag that she learned at cultural awareness training) No girlfriend, and I am not going to 'look look' or 'watch watch' either....I'm leaving! (departs in a huff to hang out with dorky home economics girls)

Ricky: (Watching her leave) I'm glad she is gone, I do love that pancho though! (picks card and returns it to deck after memorizing it) Tell me Rush, is there anything I can do to make you feel....better?

Rush: (pulls out selected card and shows Ricky) Here is your card, I know, you are discongombulated. They'll get over it, they always do, I have to leave, my class on pointing my toes forward is about to start.

Ricky: (looking up puzzled) Okay...what is the fight about anyway?

Rush: (turning back to Ricky) Oh you know, which one their mom liked best....

I don't belong to facebook. A lack of membership has it's advantages. I don't know why I click on those links anyway.

I had to register to see the video, I'm not real bright you know. I noticed when I signed up with just my name and email a boat load of people came up and it said they might be people I'd want to be in contact with, some were people I know in magic. How is it they knew those people since I never put anything else down?

I have to go and cancel my account now.

I think soon after you sign up, facebook sends friend suggestions to you based on common interests and pages visited or something like that. I don't think the people were contacting you themselves. So I wouldn't be too concerned about this if I were you. Probably since you visited Michael's video page, facebook figured that some of Michael's 'friends' might be people you know.

Intersting, the contacts came up prior to his little video though. Might be an email scan and comparison. I don't like it whatever it is.

Well, it's too late to worry about it. By now, Facebook knows who you are, where you live, what your credit history is, what you hold dear in life, and so on.

MagicSatan, there are much better ways to check than scraping with a coat hanger!

Best,

Doug L.

Thank you Dougster...I'm accepting ideas now.

Also, to get the full effect, please watch the video at full screen size. To do so, click on the rectangular icon at the bottom right corner of the video player.

And I have no idea why my face looks so deeply blotchy red in the video... that's very odd!

Cuz you are blotchy?

No!!! That's the weird thing.

I'll be honest with you, when I look in the mirror I don't see blotchy but when I see a photo I see blotchy on myself. It is a curse we fat boys have to deal with.

I sometimes, on occasion, do have a red face, but it is unclear why.

The redness could be a result of nerves... Or the "rush" of performing.

When I was in a grade 10 drama class, I qualified for the state championship numerous times in drama with my performance from Amadeus, as well as semi-finals for nationals. Don't use age as an excuse. I saw and worked with some highly talented people in the 10th grade and some not so talented...(and some that are doing it professionally and making it very well).

Excuse? It wasn't an excuse.