The employees at the hardware store require that they pick your order for you so you don't touch it before you pay.

You only eat the elephant and rabbit animal crackers...

You have two shows... one for kids and one for old age homes.... and they're both the same.

You dream about Rosanne stalking you at WMS.

You wear coin earrings...

When you market an A show, B show, C show, D show, F show and G show and the only real difference between them is how long you drag it out and how much you charge.

You tell people the more expensive show costs more because they can see it better....... so you hold all the props a little higher.

You stay awake at night trying to anticipate Jay Leslie's next great escape.

You only take your best doves to your best paying shows.

The term Dove Bar does not invoke a mental picture of ice cream

You like using Bic pens because you can do the practice the old "snapper" move with the round shaped top... You know where the Conjuring Arts Research Center is...

You only buy bic pens because they levitate the best.

Most of your fishing tackle is in your magic gear.

You are already packed for the next three magic conventions you are attending.

Family events during magic conventions are rescheduled.

You are on five boards and you don't surf.

You use your $6 income tax return to buy magic...

All of your family vacations involve cities and dates of magic conventions.

Before your wife sets the table she says, "Vanish that!"

You can make money disappear faster than you can make anything else disappear.