You go to a magic convention with a huge pocket full of money and come home with a pocket full of crap you probably will never use.

You dry the dishes with a foulard...

Your spare time is spent hunting space to store the magic props you'll never use but won't give up.

You run your clothes through a soft soap box...

You know two dozen old names for the "NEWEST" effect and buy it anyway.

It takes one moving van to move your furniture and 3 moving vans to move your magic collection.

You have more thumb tips than socks.

Your will contains 24 pages of magic tricks and the balance of one small bank account bequeathed to your children.

The clarifying question you frequently asks is "Is that the appearing or the vanishing ...?"

You sit around trying to quantify how many magicians it takes to float a lightbulb.

You carry a 4-Color Double Changing Silk to the ball game so you are always showing the winning team colors.

You are trying to get by on 3 hrs sleep because you stayed up most of the night playing with your TUC

When you know what a TUC, tt, rs, dst, or df is...

The body armor manufacturers comes to you when their supply of kevlar runs low

You realize that some of the props in your show are older than your children.

Your boss asks you to send your magic mail order deliveries to your house instead of the office because the mail room can not keep up with the volume.

You have more storage for boxes of cards than clothes.

After three days of working on that coin move you realize that your weakness is due to not having eaten or slept for three days.

You always give whole dollars in the hopes of getting change and finding that mag. quarter you lost about 10 years ago.

You are asked not to levitate the body when you attend a funeral.