You try sawing yourself in half.

Waiting for Father Photius to correct the spelling of his name

When you use a vulture in your act.

Going to the toy isle and squeezing every ball they have.

NOW LOOK
Either I'm speeding up or everyone else is slowing down.
Make your mind up.
Either everyone needs to post nonsensical jokes or were all going to make Frank very happy and quit.
What say you?
Yes you...

You are speeding up in this thread.

You take your socks off, and 3 gimmicked
coins fall out...

When you start trying to figure out how to make use of used political posters in your act.

There goes half of Bob’s posts

Where is the young man? Did he decide to join the 25 avid readers of these joke threads or did he just leave all the rest of us to die a slow death.

When you can't remember hearing a Bob Sanders political joke.

When you go to a strippers convention and do card tricks.

The Café goes down for a couple of days, and you go through serious withdrawl!

You make the same trick from Mahogany, Walnut, Wenge, Lacewood, Paduke, and Teak.

Why?

Because you can.

You ask which one of your $2,000 illusions they want to see,
and they tell you 'that rubber band trick' ...

Your kid gets more entertainment out of playing in the box your trick came in than the audience did from you preforming it.

I think I'm posting this while I'm sleeping.

You practice card throwing until you
can hit the dog's ear every time...

Does that mean the card is dog eared and you nail that corner every time or you make that small leg biting, shoe ****in, non stop yappin Chihuahua go back under the couch where it belongs.

Not that I have anything against cards!

No, my dog is an 'eardale' ...

And the cards, Aviator or Bee?