When you can quote Tarbell's by chapter and verse.

You only dress in primary colors that match your show.

When you consider your money for magic to be more sacred than your money for beer.

When you ain't got no beer money because it's all tied up in paddles.

You notice 3 coins under your wristwatch...

When you post for absolutely no reason

After three weeks you finally realize your wife left you and that you didn't make her just disappear at your last practice session.

Your orthopedist tells to to stop jumping off those boxes

When the mail man hands you the mail and you start to shuffle it.

Your Magic Live photo shows you thumbing your nose at those who can’t attend.

You teach your dog to fetch your
deck of cards and your slippers...

Your morning alarm goes off before you master that new card move.

All your posts are after dark

When your wife, when making a honey do request, starts with "When you get through messing with that trick..."

You do the 1 to 100 for the bank teller then get locked in the vestibule.

The first thing you do when going on an out of town trip is look to see if there are any magic shops at your destination.

You paint the telephone pole, outside your house, to look like a wand.

You won't go to sleep unless your wife reads you the
next chapter of the Houdini biography...

How does it end?

The answer is in the appendix...