When you realized that the oldies are valuable gems you now spend more time looking for anything old.

When you have a Houdini King of Cards bedspread...

I don't have a heart it say it but I guess you lay on your Ace. You are now in the club, If you keep up with these puns you're going to die-man. So pack it in and hit the deck, I'm sure someone else will wand-er in with another quip, be it sooo sleight.

I apologize in advance for the dicey stuff you just read.

When you don't care about losing your marbles, but worry about losing your gaffed coins and cards.

When you've lost your marbles and agree with Father Photius' quips

When you own a top hat, cape, and cane and never go to the opera.

When you nudge your wife in bed late at night only to ask her to hand you the copy of The Vernon Touch on the night stand next to her side of the bed.

When you are always invited to attend your magicians' friends' birthday party but only with a condition that you don't perform the 30 minutes ACR trick.

When you sit in the dark to practice controlling cards, just to make sure you don't look at your hands.

So far that's the funniest one you've come up with

Or you own all that stuff and it's not a Halloween costume.
- - - - -

I was walking up a driveway for a Halloween show, and a lady looked at me with a puzzled look then a crooked smile. (try it) I barked in the affirmative "I can read your mind!!!... You are thinking that you are only wearing your costume today but that I were mine all year long". She was amazed, said "How did you know?". I responded "You couldn't be thinking anything else."

I learned in a psychology class that if you make the same face someone else is making (this is subjectively cultural) that you can experience the same emotion they are feeling. This bit of cold-reading technique is worth it's weight in platinum. Some hypnotists use this technique to mirror weather a subject is under and some clinical psychologists use it to better understand the patient when they speak.

When you start collecting magic costumes and accessories.

When you doubt most of what you see and all of what you hear.

In this case it's true.

When the waistband on your underwear says "Allakazam" instead of "jockey jr."

When you loose your wallet and tell yourself you made it vanish, but your just not good enough to bring it back yet...

When you have secret pockets sewen into the tops of your socks.

Our tv recently expired and we "had" to buy another so my ex-ballerina wife could watch "so you think you can dance". In the store they had a promotion where, after a customer committed to buying a set, he (or she) got to pop a balloon inside of which was a rolled-up paper with a numerical figure between 5 and 25, this figure being the per cent discount they would subtract from the price. My wife popped the balloon and the paper hit the floor and rolled under the counter. As soon as the paper rolled under the counter, out of sight, my spidy-sense began to tingle and it occurred to me that the salesman could easily have switched the paper. I kept my mouth shut, though (it was 15%).

You have all 52 cards tattooed somewhere on your person...

When money vanishing isn't money spent.

When you order woofle dust by the carload.