You Know You're Spending Too Much Time w/Magic When

- when you wonder if the communion server may be trying to force a communion element on you.
- when your wife says the baby has a load, and you think "was he watching my Cups & Ball routine?
- you think your printer did a double lift of the paper through its feed
- its time to be romantic, and you think: Vernet or soft?
- your wife says she just loves the spring flowers, and you wonder "when did she start liking my magic?"
- your wife says you're good at manipulating, and you think she's complimenting you

When you should be on the phone but you're busy reading this stuff.

You check every coin you get to see if maybe it was a gaffed coin some magician accidentally spent.
You can't walk past a deck of cards with out doing a fan and a back palm.
When standing in line to pay for something you keep back palming and front palming your credit card.
You sit down in a restaraunt and while waiting on your food start doing french drops and retention vanishes with the sugar packets.
Someone asks you if this is your key ring and you don't feel your pockets.

When you should be on the phone but you're busy reading this stuff....... again

The real idea is figuring out how to have your world turn around magic. Shouldn't be too hard. Magicians are smarter than everybody else anyway.

-=tabman

When you see "it" you think of something other than an pronoun.
When you hear "Mark Wilson" you don't think of a race car driver.
When no one had to explain Judge Harry Stone's "Thank you Nani Darnell" comment to you.
Someone asks you to envision a beautiful woman and you think of Nani Darnell.
When you hear someone at work talking about seeing a great pass and you think he is talking about a card move.
You can't look at a bag full of baloons without thinking about making balloon animals.
You are surprised when you cut into a lemon and don't find a signed bill inside of it.
When you think of silks and eggs like other people think of bacon and eggs.
You are surprised when someone takes a coin with their left hand and the coin is really in their left hand.

Every bill in your wallet shows creases from practicing your bill switch.

When you hand anyone a bill or piece of paper of any kind and without thinking hand them a sharpy to sign it.
When the word "soft" makes you think of coins.
When you walk through a Hobby Lobby and immediately start dreaming up new tricks.
When your in church and realize you just let out a groan when the preacher said "Angel".
When you look at a pretty girl and immediately start figuring out whether or not she will fit into your illusion.
(man, could I be spending too much time with magic?)

When you go to a shopping mall, you'll look around to see whether there is something you can use for your shows.

When you own 6 change bags.
When you own 25 thumb tips.
When you are the only man in town who owns more than a dozen silk scarves.
When people talk about doves you think of loads and not hunting.
When you own more than one rubber chicken.
When you are not a gambler but have at least 50 decks of cards in your house.

All of the above and 10 times more

When you are not satisfied with your ACR routine and want to improve on it again.
When you are not happy with the last 25 chop cup purchases and wants more.
When you are showing off how smart you are with a 100 rings routine.

When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Nani Darnell.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Pam Thompson.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Trixe Bond.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Celeste Evans.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Debbie Leifer.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Tina Lenert.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Gay Blackstone.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Juliana Chen.
When you have 4,000 autographed pictures of Abbi Spinner.

(Hmmmm, maybe my problem isn't magic at all...)

- When most rooms of your home have at least one deck of cards lying somewhere. (this bugs my wife to death!)

- When the number of red and blue bicycle decks is too many to recall which are real, what are gaffed, which ones are full, and which ones have cards missing because you needed a dupe for another routine.

When you don't know how to organise your house any more with all those props lying everywhere.

When your pencil holders are full of magic wands.

When you wake up in a room full of magic then get in your car which has tricks in every pocket and finally get to the shop where you are sitting in your office that has 800 catalogs and 4 display cabinets that hold 1500 small tricks - forget about the rest of the place, it's full too.

and

When you get a fire inspection and they call all the guys in, from the truck, to look at all your stuff....... and you think they are admiring it....... but..... they are trying to figure out how to tell you to throw 50 percent of it away............. and................. you tell them that you're getting more! ! !

(OK, Jay, stop spying on me!)

When you have doctorates in psychology and theology and every bookcase in your house is full of magic books.

Not to mention the storage unit down the street, the old microwave oven & also the new microwave oven and half the steps to the second floor. What's a book case? They stack higher by themselves and make a nice obstacle course.

(WOW! You really are spying on me. I gotta look for those cameras!)

When you leave $40,000 worth of automobiles in your driveway so you can keep $2,000 worth of magic junk in your garage.