As opposed to NOT spending too much time... because you have-to-read DMs, over 13,000 posts?

Now you tell me....I was at 12,134...

When you are trying to meditate (even though you do not know how) so you can levitate yourself.

When you think you saw JamesTong levitate himself; no, you're sure you saw James levitate.

I never read his post.

When you carry a 3 lb. coffee can for tips, and expect to fill it...

When you start contacting everyone at the Café to send you a postcard so you can start a postcard collection hobby.

When you drive around to a dozen magazine racks and insert a business card in every free copy and pay the price to open the machines and insert cards in the regular newspapers too.

((That tip should make it in the gorilla handbook of how to best waste your time. Almost as wasteful as putting 600 flyers under windshield wipers, at the mall - but Hay! you got to try it to know if it works.... and it didn't..... twice..... Questions? Don't do it.)

I have just provided a free public-service-announcement (PSA) that was worth 200 of the "other brands" advice. Do I get extra points, or is the one on my head enough?

When you found out why no one has sent you a postcard yet? (Those guys don't have an address to send the cards to)

When you try to medicate so you can levitate!

When, during my meditation, I thought I was already levitating. That is because I could not feel my bottom touching the ground I am sitting on. But I was disappointed because I found out that my entire bum and legs are numb from sitting to long. So I decided to buy and perform one of those ready made self levitation effect.

When you think good about the masked moron.

When I get so excited during my meditation I think two of my toes may have started levitating.

When you try and put together a magic web forum to compete against the Café.

When you dreaming that you are still having a good time posting at the Café.

If you reach 20,000 post on the Café.

When you only eat your grits in a bowl shaped like a top hat.

When you are so proud to own so many top hat shaped containers.

When you know 5 ways to produce a rabbit from a top hat, 40 ways from boxes and 100 ways, when they're not looking.

When you can read the same catalog 100 times and do not get tired of it.