You don't even have a real wallet.

... you want your "Broken Wand " ceremony b4 you cash in.

You cannot even differentiate whether your items are real or gaffed.

...and you don't even know what "differentiate" means...

You like collecting the same items in different versions.

You say, "Would you like that with or without whiffle dust?"

You spend hundreds of hours trying to develop a new act.

Another magician asked you how to do something and you say, "I forgot!"

You send to all your magician friends a photo of you to be placed as a wall paper for their PC.

Your shower curtain has lights and plays music.

You have a different business card designs printed on different T-shirts.

You sleep in your refrigerator or stove because you are trying to invent "My Instant Magician" and can't decide weather you should be freeze dried or steamed.

Other magicians are telling you that you are re-inventing stuffs.

I can't imagine why Alabama lets you even live there. That's some funny stuff!!

You build a 1600sq ft theater in the barnyard

... you build a magic prop shop in a cotton field.

... you compete with Tabman on outdoor stages out in the country

... you start making all kinds of storage boxes to put your props in.

You are looking forward to using spring credit cards with your spring bills.

... when you use cotton bolls instead of balls in your C&B routine (for the Cotton Council).