You visit Hawaii to see if they sell color changing leis...

It embarrasses you if you are NOT asked to do a trick.

Your Trans Am has a dove decal on the hood...

You do three shows only to come back and post here... even before you visit the little boys room.

Be back in a minute.

You inspect all salt shakers.

You drive your riding mower blindfolded...

You look at a package of M&Ms and wonder whether they are left over from halloween or the ones that came with your Juan Tamariz book.

You even carry a Sharpie Pen fishing.

You have a kit containing: deck of cards, sharpie pen, two gaffed coins, 4 silver dollars, package of IT loops, and 4 sponge balls that is the first thing you pack for any convention.

Some funny stuff!!!

You never shower without rubber bands on your arm.

All your fingers are purple from the rubber bands around your wrists...

Waiters and waitresses watch you to be sure that you don't steal their tips.

You just realize your family has left you 10 years ago

Your friends refuse to come within 5 feet of you without holding onto their watch and belt.

You don't walk anymore, you levitate from place to place

You are certain that you can sweeten the coffee by adding salt

You think you can walk on the street naked by turning invisible

When you get arrested for being a pick pocket because a policeman finds three wallets on you.

When you pay your bill in the restaruant with a piece of blank paper

You've been on stage so long that you need to wear a diaper.

You first thing you reach out for in the morning is the wand and not the toothbrush