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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » New to magic? » » My parents are a sucky audience. (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
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Olaf911, its good to know that no money changes hand. I am glad he is of great help to you. Kids can see things we are not aware of. And they can help improve our performances in many ways.
Matt101
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It really depands, my mother supports me in my hobby but it is sometimes very difficult to perform for her, because she knows how the trick is done so she is watching the other hand which shouldn't be watched:-) but it helps me to improve!
marty.sasaki
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One thing that should be mentioned is often when we show things to loved ones they really aren't ready for "prime" time. We still need to tighten things up, and smooth out the presentation. They don't know how to be critical in a useful way. They don't say, you flashed in the Ramsey subtlety after the second vanish. They will say, you suck, I saw how you did it.

I have friends who are bored by magic, but I have gotten them to sit up and pay attention when I've done something well.
Marty Sasaki
Arlington, Massachusetts, USA

Standard disclaimer: I'm just a hobbyist who enjoys occasionally mystifying friends and family, so my opinions should be viewed with this in mind.
funsway
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old things in new ways - new things in old ways
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My 88 year old parents love every magic effect I do for them, but I don't expect any critical evalaution from them. So, don't allow the fact that you don't like their comments divert you from any higher calling. To not perform for my parents would be an insult. My wife, on the othe rhand, is a most caluable resource. being very visually impaired she cannot see most of what I am doing and misses out on the 'magic' -- but she instantly knows when I am doing a sleight or fumbling a misdirection. So. I practice until she cannot 'know' or 'sense' my lack of confidence or that I am unintentionally telegraphing my 'dirty work'.

the mother who claims to see the flash of the palmed ball may be telling you that "you see the palmed ball" and therefor need more work. Honor the intuition if not the words.
"the more one pretends at magic, the more awe and wonder will be found in real life." Arnold Furst



ShareBooks at www.eversway.com * questions at funsway@eversway.com
Ronald72
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Holland
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My wife is a great help to give feedback on my magic. My parnts do not understand and I have a twinbrother who like it and just came up with a thumb tip. He was thinking that permorming was easy so he did on a family reunion. His performances was so bad that from embarresment he begins to explain how the trick worked. That get him either in more problems because the family did not like the fact that he was telling the secret and guving my business away.

I stopped like 3 years ago to perform for family and friends. And that works great! Smile
guitarmagic
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Magic is an opinionated product much like Music. There are those that like it, those that don't, those that like only certain types, etc. We must respect those that do not like magic, our magic nor our performance of magic.

It would be appropriate to remind them that you are not interested in their interests as well, and case not to see or hear about them. It is not a one-sided-world.

Do I have kindred spirited, like-minded performers with me? What are your thoughts?
Why is it that on one side of the world a person looks at a picture of the Grand Canyon and says, "it looks so real." At the same time on the other side of the world a person looks at the Grand Canyon and says, "it looks like a picture."
funsway
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Quote:
On 2009-07-31 23:16, guitarmagic wrote:
It would be appropriate to remind them that you are not interested in their interests as well, and case not to see or hear about them. It is not a one-sided-world.


Since this thread is about parents, and possibly other relatives, it is hard to tell if you are asking about that situation, or performing in general. IMHO very little is gained in life by playing any tit for tat game. Trying to get others to conform to your particular view of living and interpersonal is saying "It's all about me!" -- and very "one sided." Try walking up to someone looking sad, or vexed or blank and say, "YOu seem in need of a friend -- home might I help?" Then be prepared to play your guitar or tell a story or do magic or just sit and listen. If another person is laughing or looking like the cat that ate the canary ask, "What do you know that I don't?" -- or just sit and listen and learn.

Your suggested approach sounds like the kid saying, "If you won't play by my rules I'll take my ball and go home." There are billions of people out there. Why waste any energy on those who don't wish to deal with you at the moment? Keep your focus on finding those who do wish to be with you.

if you are speaking of family only -- well, you chose 'em ;-)

Not what you wanted to hear, I am sure.
"the more one pretends at magic, the more awe and wonder will be found in real life." Arnold Furst



ShareBooks at www.eversway.com * questions at funsway@eversway.com
55john55
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Some people make a great audience and some don't. My view is that we are all different. We have to accept the people we care about for who they are, not who we wish they were. I try not to do magic for people unless two things are true. 1. They enjoy it and 2. I enjoy it. Is there anything else that you both have some interest in? You are in a tough position but if it had an easy solution you would have found it by now.
scaevola
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My parents are VERY supportive of my magic. Almost to the point of nagging me when I don't practice enough or when I haven't booked enough shows. But they are a terrible audience. Its pretty impossible to get them interested in something or to really fool them. I am lucky if they pay attention for the whole trick. I think the people who raised you know that you don't have powers and so everything is a trick to them.

My ex girlfriend LOVES magic but she is a terrible audience. If she thinks she knows how it is done she will just blurt it out and grin. She is almost always right. She sees right through things, and it's not just me, other magicians too. I show her stuff when I want to be sure that it is totally bulletproof.

What I do is keep track of people who are GREAT to show tricks too. I have friends who love my magic, are always fooled and these are the people that I share my magic with first when I am figuring out if it is ready or if I just want an ego boost. One friend in particular always seems to make magic performances better. When I do a trick for her she reacts so well that other people become more amazed. Of course you can't use people like this as a crutch for bad magic. But it is good to know who is going to be a fun audience.
bodybyfood
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Get this one: I was showing my sister OOTW after I had just learned it (she was probably my second performance infront of a spectator) and she smiled and started naming every single card the same color! I didn't know what to do, so I just picked up the cards and left.
GamingNinja
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My mother is a terrible person to show magic to, and you can add my aunt, grandma, and one of my cousins to that list. They think I should be a housewife, no hobbies, just go to work and take care of my 4 year old. So when I come up with a sponge ball or a deck of cards I get, 'Aren't you too old for that?' Lame. My cousin is the worst, she'll do everything in her power to make you fail. You tell her to cut the deck, she'll shuffle the crap out of them. I even got tackled one day for a coin in bottle so she could get the bottle and see how it was done. She HATES to be fooled. I don't perform for her anymore, I might have had to resort to using the taser on her if I kept on.

My ex-husband is my best audience. He enjoys magic, he comes with me to the store to check out new things, and if he sees anything, he lets me know politely and I can work on it from there. He can't wait to see something new I learned, so it gives me a bit of confidence when my family is busy kicking me down. -_-

My 4 year old is getting into it now too, he got a little coin vanish box in his kids meal and runs around showing everyone. I see potential in him, he's so bright and picks things up with insane ease.

Its odd though, the females in my family are vicious, but the males really enjoy it. I can perform for my male cousins all night and we all have a ball, my female relatives give me the look of death if anyone even mentions the word 'magic'.
Darth_Prime
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I think me dad is the ultimate heckler.. ever!

He just yells random stuff sometimes that has nothing to do with the trick.
Irfaan Kahan
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I was performing Bill Malone's Leap of Faith at a table one night. At the end, everybody seemed suitably impressed at the effect, but one woman at the table, all the while that I was revealing the final effect (which takes a while, as 2 spectators have to count cards) kept saying: "It must have something to do with that funny count."

She kept saying this over and over, annoying EVERYBODY - I just ignored her. The lesson I took from this is to really sell the fact (?) that this is the way they count cards in Vegas casinos. I even demonstrate the count these days by using a few cards, as I share all the virtues (?) of counting cards this way. Nobody has ever questioned the count since I started doing this.
I'm a Magician playing the part of an Actor
Jia Truong
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The one person that I can never trick in the world is my little sister. Whenever I asks her, she says that when I look her in the eye, it means I am hiding something. All my other family members are easy to trick. Weird, isn't it?
55john55
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I don't know if this will help or not. When I take our daughter's dog for a walk she tries to greet every person along the way as though they should be as excited to see her as she is to see them. I pull the dog as far away from the person as possible and tell the dog, "Stay back, not everyone likes dogs." The dog doesn't understand a word I say, but the people do. I'm telling them it's ok with me if they don't like dogs.
I'm suggesting that you somehow tell your relatives that it is ok if they don't like magic. You'll try not to do it in front of them. But if once in awhile you do, to give you a break and realize that it is one of the passions in your life. Why would they take your joy out of it? Odds are they will still give you a hard time. You have to decide if it is worth the pain. I don't think it is. I say save the tricks for when they aren't there. There is too much pleasure in doing magic for people who like it to have it stolen by people who don't.
Keep a short leash on your dog.
Does this help or is it stupid?
scaevola
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No that is smart. It's important to have critical audiences so that we improve but it is also very important to share our magic with people who are going to help us be better magicians, either with helpful criticism or confidence-boosting praise. Do NOT share your magic with people who aren't going to like it or say anything helpful. Close relatives are often the worst audience because, as it has been pointed out before, they KNOW that you don't have "powers," they can tell when you are trying to hide something, etc.

Don't worry if your close relatives are a poor audience. Try the tricks for strangers.
Darth_Prime
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Just wanted to update

I finally got me dad speechless by doing déjà vu by D&D
magicbobc
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My family has rarely seen me perform, they get to see me practice all the time, so they get tired of it. 10 years ago when I began learning magic my father was really dissapointed, and my brothers actually bothered me and thought I was lame haha!
But after I payed for my college tuitions, my father agreed to come see one of my shows. Now he loves to watch me perform. So be patient and don't desist. You can go far with magic!
BobC
tjaymagic
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I can't perform in front of my parents, after performing a trick with a deck of cards, she said straight away, 'I suppose that wouldn't work with another card would it?' - She also knows if I'm lying.

My father will take the cards away from me and shuffle them like mad, and will posbbilby resort to the 52 card pick up.

Cups and balls and rope....Don't even get me on that topic!

Acting is OK for my parents to watch...magic...NAH!!
hey... Smile Smile Smile ... what is this signature saying about me?!
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