Let me preface this post by saying that this isn't intended as a rant.

I ran into a serious problem at my gig this weekend. I know that there are many professionals here who make their living off magic. I would covet your suggestions and advice.

I performed at a local camp ground's indoor, air conditioned, activity center. My act is a family act. It engages younger audience members, but is designed to appeal to a wide age range.

In the third row there was this lady with a little boy on her lap. I'd say he was around three year old.

He screeched incessantly throughout my entire show.

I'm not talking about soft babbling or moaning. This was ear bleeding, hair raising screeching.

I've been taping my live gigs (with the venue's permission) so I can critique myself and improve. This kid was so loud that in many parts he drowned out my Fender Passport 250...

It was disruptive to say the least...

At first I tried to acknowledge the screeching with cute comments like:

"Oh! Apparently we have a critic in the back! It's cool bro, they'll refund your cover fee at the door!" (It was a free show for the camp ground patrons)

Eventually I realized that if I kept doing that my 45 minute show would turn into 3 hours. I finally gave up and just plowed through, screeching and all.

There were two results:

1.) I'm sure the rest of the audience was frustrated with this situation too... They were very gracious to me and seemed to really enjoy the show otherwise.

2.) Apparently screeching children are my Kryptonite on stage... As I watched the tape I noticed a billion problems with my performance that would never have happened otherwise. I still got tons of complements, but I have higher standards.

So here's my question...

How do I professionally handle this situation?

Being blunt, the child either needed to be quiet or removed from the group. It wasn't fair to the rest of the audience (or me) to be inflicted with this kid's incessant screeching.

The thing is, dealing with people's kids is a touchy subject. They're kind of like "little saints".

If I handle the situation wrong I'll lose the good will of my audience.

If I tick off the parent, they'll complain to the venue.

If the venue hears complaints, they won't hire me back...

Not getting hired back is bad since almost all businesses rely on repeat customers...

I truly would appreciate any constructive suggestions.

I hate to say it but if she is making the rest of the audience VERY uncomportable by having this happen then as a performer you hate to but you have to come out and ask for the rest of the people ... it's not a win win but unless she's the one that actually is paying you then its a no choice issue. Great subject though

"Oh! Apparently we have a critic in the back! It's cool bro, they'll refund your cover fee at the door!"

Polite, but far too indirect to really work (Mom had to be utterly oblivious to veiled hints).

"Ma'am, I see and hear that he's really unhappy being here - let me suggest that you take him somewhere he can have a better time, and we can all relax and enjoy the show." If she doesn't like it, too bad.

Matthew, I have, on occasions, given a disclaimer, so to speak, at the beginning of my show. I would request that anyone with children, who seem disinterested in the show, and tends to make noise, please take them out so the others are not disturbed.

In some shows, I have made the sponsor responsible for handling such problems.

If all else fails, pepper gas works great (lol). Seriousliy, this is a problem in some shows, just like adults in the back of the room who talk and their voice bleeds over yours.

This may not be the best advice for you, but it has worked for me these past several years. In my early years of magic, I did have a child being real loud. I stopped the show until the problem was taken care of. Sometimes their peers will come to your aid when it affects them. Good luck.

Glenn

Glenn! You are right on the money.
Prevention is worth its weight in gold as a cure.

Always speak with your venue/hosts ahead, and see if they can help with any distractions that may come up, it’s a professional thing to do, they realize it is for the sake of a majority of their guests, and they can generally help out when you are on stage in “performance mode”.

Your idea of a subtle/short disclaimer can also work, just as the “cell phone” speech is getting to be the curtain raiser of choice in most live performances.

Also, when booking a show, let the client know the age-range your act is realistically suited to. If you don’t “do” the under five crowd, let them know so they can let the parents/guests know.

As the last resort, the polite straightforward approach from stage is better than ruining your act and the experience for everyone: “I’m sorry but it seems your child is too young to appreciate this entertainment, would you mind taking him outside, so the rest of our guests are not disturbed? Thank you!”

Best of luck next time,
Walt

Gentlemen, thank you so much for your advice! With your helpful words of wisdom I've come up with a few action points that I am going to implement.

1.) I have a pre-recorded track that plays right before the show beings reminding everyone to silence their cell phones. I'm going to modify it to include a disclaimer regarding disruptive children.

2.) You're correct, I don't "do" the five and under crowd. The show is truthfully aimed at pre-teens through adults, but I've discovered that children six and up seem to enjoy it (Nickelodeon looks a lot like MTV these days... My show has that vibe). I'll emphasize this more to the clients and ask them to support me in taking care of disruptions.

3.) If all else fails I need to address the situation directly. I actually made a bigger mistake by letting the needs of the screecher and his mother outweigh the other 99 people in the room. I REALLY like the verbiage "Your child doesn't seem to be enjoying this entertainment"... It gets the point across without appearing judgmental.

Thanks again to all of you for your advice!!!