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The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » So- you want to open a magic shop (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

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jay leslie
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Here are some of the responses myself and the staff have been overheard giving to customers (In some cases, multiple times.
- - - - - - - -

If you needed it today- why didn't you order it last week?

No... there is no correct order to store the "In and out boxes".

I’m sorry we don’t carry a stage size Dime & Penny.

It’s a trick! Here is the gimmick. It's not real... You don’t really read someone's mind.

Yes you can perform Snowstorm From China at a party but you better take a sweeper.

No... Stage Blood is not supposed to make the stage look like it’s bleeding.

Let me get this straight - You want a discount & you don’t want to pay sales tax & you absolutely need this prop today - OR - you’ll order it from the internet from another time zone which will take two days and double the cost... Is that correct?

So, you want me to drop my price by five cents, on these sponge balls because you can get them elsewhere for five cents less? ... even though the other guy doesn't have them in stock.

And you want free overnight shipping overseas, is that correct?

I understand you have a grandson that you want to show the magic shop to, but we have a policy - If you have two dollars and two hours please don't.

Sir you can take my word for it... that Zombie Ball did not have a dent when we sold it to you yesterday.

This is an antique... There is no way I can get you a “fresh one” from the back because They Don’t Make Them Anymore.

Yes, I know the trick your looking for... but describing it ten different ways... and who performs it... and what color it is... doesn't mean we have it in stock.

I’m sure your version is better then the instructions - that you didn’t read.

I don’t know how people on the chat sites say it works... because we haven't released it yet.

How can you claim to have invented this trick when it’s published in Tarbell since before you were born?

Yes we said this DVD would teach you card tricks but you still have to practice.

I’m sorry you used your Miracle Money for bus fare but we can’t replace it for free.

I understand your three year old is very smart but I still think this Lennart Green DVD is beyond their skill level.

I understand you’ve been sitting here, waiting for me for an hour, because I’m the only person who could help you... when the counterman was to one who invented the handling.

But really sir, anyone can demonstrate this Nickel To Dimes as good as anyone else.

So... because you know how the trick works it should sell for less?

I know that you want to see what's in that box on the top shelve. I also know your allowance is twenty dollars a week, That’s why I’m not dragging the box down from there.

Why do you continue to come here when you constantly whisper, to your friends, that you can get it
somewhere else for less?
JamesTong
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Eternal Order
Malaysia
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Jay, from the responses, I can imagine you really have weird non-magician or magic newbies customers.
Dynamike
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I bet it is both.
jay leslie
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Just regular people who ask questions. We just try to feed the question back to them so they can hear themselves... The guy with the Zombie Ball was a real winner and the guy who insisted I check stock for another antique should have been on TV. He kept accusing me of me not trying to help him because I wouldn't look for a new one.
Dynamike
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I want to purchase the Zombie ball from. But leave out that funny stick.
jay leslie
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Southern California
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We also sold costumes and I remember telling a lady that she could not take the pilgrim costume out of the bag to see how it was made... She said that she wanted to buy it and I told her that she was wasting my time because she just wanted to see the patten... Then I asked her to show me the money because she didn't have a purse. Then she said she would go to the car and get the money but if it didn't fit, could she bring it back... Then I told here that she just wanted to see it for the pattern and to please leave. Then she challenged me. So I told her that her top was made from $1.69 flat-fold material using a single zig-zag stitch which no clothing manufacturer, in the world, ever does so it was obvious that she sewed her own clothes and all she wanted to do was "Mess-up" my package and not buy it.

She turned beet red and left. Not funny then but funny now
Dynamike
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Why want sponge balls without the tiny holes in them.
kihei kid
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Quote:
On 2009-08-19 13:44, jay leslie wrote:
Let me get this straight - You want a discount & you don’t want to pay sales tax & you absolutely need this prop today - OR - you’ll order it from the internet from another time zone which will take two days and double the cost... Is that correct?

So, you want me to drop my price by five cents, on these sponge balls because you can get them elsewhere for five cents less? ... even though the other guy doesn't have them in stock.

And you want free overnight shipping overseas, is that correct?

So... because you know how the trick works it should sell for less?

Why do you continue to come here when you constantly whisper, to your friends, that you can get it
somewhere else for less?

Love it.

Some (most?) magicians can be notoriously cheap.

Every so often I’ll sell something on here and the responses I get are more fascinating to me then some of the magic I see out there.

I was selling a DVD one time CHEAP and had a guy PM me and asked if I would sell it for a dollar less.

As in… 4 quarters.

YHGTBFKM!!!

4 quarters?!

It truly boggles the imagination.

Then there’s the other side of it.

I recently purchased a suitcase table from a relatively big time magician that builds them along with other props.

When it arrived it was nothing like we agreed upon and the casters on it where so incredibly cheap they would just drag along the floor.

Yeah, I’ll be buying from you again pal and/or recommending you in the future.
In loving memory of Hughie Thomasson 1952-2007.

You brought something beautiful to this world, you touched my heart, my soul and my life. You will be greatly missed.

Until we meet again “my old friend”.
Dynamike
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I want to purchase a Square Circle. Why would I need a middle cylinder? Can I get a discount without it?
TheAmbitiousCard
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Finally, something funny in the "Now that's funny" forum.
Thanks Jay.

Sounds like a great day at the office.
www.theambitiouscard.com Hand Crafted Magic
Trophy Husband, Father of the Year Candidate,
Chippendale's Dancer applicant, Unofficial World Record Holder.
tabman
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USA
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Is this from the House of Enchantment days???

-=tab
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
jay leslie
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Yes and I'm reopening the retail shop so I was just looking at some of the old stuff laying around. Wait till I find the "Aggravation" list... It's a sign we post that lists the 12 things that will get 10 percent (or more) added to the cost. One of them is making me watch your routine. I charge for that. I have degree in theatre and if someone isn't there to learn then unless they are VERY good.... we (you and me including Dynamike) has seen it before, James has made it before, magicbus has patented it before, Joseph has it in a drawer, Bill is wondering when it will come back dressed up as something new, Frank has performed it forwards and backwards and tabman has bought and sold a dozen of them over time) YOU GET THE IDEA.

Here is a call I just got today. "I'm pretty good at card tricks, have been doing them for 6 years if you're going to be around Sunday I'll come by and show you some".

My answer. Thank you, I'm sure that I've never seen them again, but every minute I watch you do tricks, I'm going to put you you work for seven. Are you allergic to dust?

- - -

Here is another classic
A nice gentleman was sitting at the counter insisting on showing a salesperson the kini-tkey. He moved something in the wrong position making the "bit" look funny, all the time telling the clerk that he could probably do it better the the guy who invented it.... Finally the clerk took it from the man showed him the right way to do it, The man agreed that it looked better then his way and the clerk said... Do you know how I know to do the trick as good as the man who invented it? No... because the man who invented it is sitting behind the cash register and he taught me.

The nice man got up and said he had to get something from the car, we never saw him again.

- - - -

Hear ye hear ye... all magic shop owners are invited to post their best stories.
jay leslie
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Here is another one

After taking 20 minutes to explain what sales tax is used for and figuring out how many Puff Cigarettes a kid could buy for 7 dollars he informed me that he had to wait 3 weeks until he had enough money.

To quote a movie line 3 kids send the clerk up the ladder three times so he asks the forth kid "And I suppose you also want 5 cents of candy?"... "NO" says the kid...(man climbs down the ladder for the third time) Kid again "I want 10 cents worth!"
TheAmbitiousCard
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You should have a little book with all the standard questions with all the standard responses. When you get one of those pesky questions asked, look it up on the sheet and just point to the appropriate question/answer pair and say nothing.

Q:
A:

Q:
A:

Q:
A:
www.theambitiouscard.com Hand Crafted Magic
Trophy Husband, Father of the Year Candidate,
Chippendale's Dancer applicant, Unofficial World Record Holder.
tabman
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USA
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Quote:
On 2009-08-19 18:43, jay leslie wrote:
Yes and I'm reopening the retail shop so I was just looking at some of the old stuff laying around.


Good luck with the new shop. If I lived around the corner, I'd germ you for a job.

-=tab
...Your professional woodworking and "tender" loving care in the products you make, make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for all you do...

http://Sefalaljia.com
Dynamike
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Quote:
On 2009-08-19 18:43, jay leslie wrote:
Yes and I'm reopening the retail shop

It is going to be magic tricks inside of it?
jay leslie
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Southern California
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No. I thought I'd try something different and put them outside along with the cash register, then go to lunch.
Father Photius
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El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
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By George, I think you've got it, Jay.
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Dynamike
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What kind of magic tricks are you going to sell?
jay leslie
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Mostly plastic and water repellant because they will be outside.
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