The Magic Caf
Username:
Password:
[ Lost Password ]
  [ Forgot Username ]
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Audience comments... (0 Likes) Printer Friendly Version

 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
samslaven
View Profile
New user
I only have...
28 Posts

Profile of samslaven
I was just wondering what the funniest, meanest & rudest comments anyone has ever received after a performance were. Also what's the funniest, meanest & rudest heckling lines anyone has recieved?

I distinguish these (comments & hecklings) as seperate entities simply because of the differing ways this may psychologically affect the performer. Obviously hecklers are doing it for the attention, but the after show comments seem to be intended to be a little more sincere - good or bad.

Anyhow, what are they?
Father Photius
View Profile
Grammar Host
El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo)
17198 Posts

Profile of Father Photius
"I know how you did that making the lady float, because I saw you fill her with hot air before the show".
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
Floyd Collins
View Profile
Inner circle
Ohio
1633 Posts

Profile of Floyd Collins
A college girl "I know you didn't really burn my bill, that was fake fire wasn't it"

A husband standing next to his wife "If your so good at reading MY mind, then tell me what my wife is thinking right now"

A young man after a show "That was really good but I have to tell you the mask magician tells all your secrets." My Reply; "that's because I am the mask magician!" The guy replied "I KNEW IT!"
No one said it would be easy, or did they?

Check out my all new book "Chicken Scratches" visit my lulu store for more information.

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/thecenterstage

http://www.collinscomedymagic.com
JamesTong
View Profile
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11213 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
"I saw the masking tape lines that are on the newspaper you just restored. The funny movements you made indicated that you were taping up the torn pieces."
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
Not a verbal comment, but once I did the effect with the plastic jeweled cube that changes to a disc and a sphere (whatever the name is, I forget). A spectator grabbed the sphere and began pressing on the jewels trying to make the solid plastic change shape! "It's gotta be one of these jewels!"
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
JamesTong
View Profile
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11213 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
There was a time where I took out a set of linking rings and some audience members shouted and said, " I know how you do it. There's a hole in it!"
Dynamike
View Profile
Eternal Order
FullTimer
24148 Posts

Profile of Dynamike
I was cutting a parent with Visible Sawing. I little was crying saying "You cut my mommy." The girl was mad at me after the show.
JamesTong
View Profile
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11213 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
Before I was even begin my sponge balls trick, one person shouted, "Open your hands to show us they are empty!".
Ronald72
View Profile
Loyal user
Holland
249 Posts

Profile of Ronald72
In my kid show there will always be a child no matter what I am going to do (sponsball, cardtrick, rope etc) yells: I know how that works!! When I choose not to ignore (as general advice from lot of books) but put my finger to my mouth and say, sssst don't tell because they don't. Always fun!!
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
Years (and years and years) ago, when I was a teenager, I did a show at a mental hospital. Being a young kid and not thinking things out, I did a rope escape. Suddenly I was rushed and surrounded by a large number of patients grabbing me and insisting that I teach them how to get out of hospital restraints! I had to be rescued by the medical staff. Needless to say, the show ended there. Smile
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
harris
View Profile
Inner circle
Harris Deutsch
8746 Posts

Profile of harris
1. "Your Magic"
2. "Is that supposed to be funny"
3. "What's your real job". (said more when I was doing the entertainment gig full time then I hear these days)
4. "Can I have that?"
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com
music, magic and marvelous toys
http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u
55john55
View Profile
Regular user
136 Posts

Profile of 55john55
I took out a deck of cards and a kid said, "I've seen this one before".
MagicBus
View Profile
Inner circle
Kalamazoo, Michigan
2869 Posts

Profile of MagicBus
Someone read my posts and asked if I bought Obsession perfume to go with it...
MagicBus
View Profile
Inner circle
Kalamazoo, Michigan
2869 Posts

Profile of MagicBus
Do the balloons break often? Answer: Only once.
JamesTong
View Profile
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11213 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
When I was bringing out a pack of cards, someone shouted, "Not another card trick again".
Bill Ligon
View Profile
Inner circle
A sure sign of a misspent youth:
6437 Posts

Profile of Bill Ligon
"Please name any card in the deck."

"Ok. I'll name this one George."
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE
Stanyon
View Profile
Inner circle
Landrum, S.C. by way of Chicago
3419 Posts

Profile of Stanyon
Typical audience response:

"You really fooled us. We thought you were going to be good!"
Stanyon

aka Steve Taylor

"Every move a move!"

"If you've enjoyed my performance half as much as I've enjoyed performing for you, then you've enjoyed it twice as much as me!"
JamesTong
View Profile
Eternal Order
Malaysia
11213 Posts

Profile of JamesTong
Another typical and common response when they walk pass you after the show:

"Good Show!" ... as they walk pass you without even looking at you.
Bill Palmer
View Profile
Eternal Order
Only Jonathan Townsend has more than
24306 Posts

Profile of Bill Palmer
Quote:
On 2009-09-04 00:04, MagicBus wrote:
Do the balloons break often? Answer: Only once.


A direct quote from Van Cleve's "Miracle of the Little Orange Mouse," published in the 1960's.

Are the lines funny?

Only once.
"The Swatter"

Founder of CODBAMMC

My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups."

www.cupsandballsmuseum.com
Sealegs
View Profile
Inner circle
The UK, Portsmouth
2611 Posts

Profile of Sealegs
I did a show recently where there was a man sat right in my eye line and right up close to the stage who didn't so much as hint that he might crack the slightest smile during the entire time I was doing my stuff.

Later that evening I saw him talking to the Cruise Director (I was working on a ship) and shortly after that the Cruise Director collared me to have a word. He said the man in question, who was a seasoned cruiser with over 100 cruises under his belt just with that cruise line, had told him that I was the best and funniest act he'd ever seen on a cruise ship.

Now it might well be that the man in question, even with all the cruising he does, doesn't bother going to see many shows, ..... or it maybe that up until recently he'd been both blind and deaf.... but either way it's a true story I get a kick out of telling it.

Hopefully it'll make the 'Heckle stopper'; "Am I facing the right way?"; "Is this thing on?"; "Is this your first time as an audience?" performer stop ... think ..... and realise, that sometimes it's better to just get on doing your job rather than berating your audience for not giving you the response you feel you deserve.

Neal. Smile
Neal Austin

"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw
The Magic Cafe Forum Index » » Now that’s funny! » » Audience comments... (0 Likes)
 Go to page 1~2 [Next]
[ Top of Page ]
All content & postings Copyright © 2001-2023 Steve Brooks. All Rights Reserved.
This page was created in 0.03 seconds requiring 5 database queries.
The views and comments expressed on The Magic Café
are not necessarily those of The Magic Café, Steve Brooks, or Steve Brooks Magic.
> Privacy Statement <

ROTFL Billions and billions served! ROTFL