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samslaven New user I only have... 28 Posts |
I was just wondering what the funniest, meanest & rudest comments anyone has ever received after a performance were. Also what's the funniest, meanest & rudest heckling lines anyone has recieved?
I distinguish these (comments & hecklings) as seperate entities simply because of the differing ways this may psychologically affect the performer. Obviously hecklers are doing it for the attention, but the after show comments seem to be intended to be a little more sincere - good or bad. Anyhow, what are they? |
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Father Photius Grammar Host El Paso, TX (Formerly Amarillo) 17161 Posts |
"I know how you did that making the lady float, because I saw you fill her with hot air before the show".
"Now here's the man with the 25 cent hands, that two bit magician..."
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Floyd Collins Inner circle Ohio 1633 Posts |
A college girl "I know you didn't really burn my bill, that was fake fire wasn't it"
A husband standing next to his wife "If your so good at reading MY mind, then tell me what my wife is thinking right now" A young man after a show "That was really good but I have to tell you the mask magician tells all your secrets." My Reply; "that's because I am the mask magician!" The guy replied "I KNEW IT!"
No one said it would be easy, or did they?
Check out my all new book "Chicken Scratches" visit my lulu store for more information. http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/thecenterstage http://www.collinscomedymagic.com |
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JamesTong Eternal Order Malaysia 11213 Posts |
"I saw the masking tape lines that are on the newspaper you just restored. The funny movements you made indicated that you were taping up the torn pieces."
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts |
Not a verbal comment, but once I did the effect with the plastic jeweled cube that changes to a disc and a sphere (whatever the name is, I forget). A spectator grabbed the sphere and began pressing on the jewels trying to make the solid plastic change shape! "It's gotta be one of these jewels!"
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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JamesTong Eternal Order Malaysia 11213 Posts |
There was a time where I took out a set of linking rings and some audience members shouted and said, " I know how you do it. There's a hole in it!"
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Dynamike Eternal Order FullTimer 24148 Posts |
I was cutting a parent with Visible Sawing. I little was crying saying "You cut my mommy." The girl was mad at me after the show.
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JamesTong Eternal Order Malaysia 11213 Posts |
Before I was even begin my sponge balls trick, one person shouted, "Open your hands to show us they are empty!".
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Ronald72 Loyal user Holland 249 Posts |
In my kid show there will always be a child no matter what I am going to do (sponsball, cardtrick, rope etc) yells: I know how that works!! When I choose not to ignore (as general advice from lot of books) but put my finger to my mouth and say, sssst don't tell because they don't. Always fun!!
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts |
Years (and years and years) ago, when I was a teenager, I did a show at a mental hospital. Being a young kid and not thinking things out, I did a rope escape. Suddenly I was rushed and surrounded by a large number of patients grabbing me and insisting that I teach them how to get out of hospital restraints! I had to be rescued by the medical staff. Needless to say, the show ended there.
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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harris Inner circle Harris Deutsch 8812 Posts |
1. "Your Magic"
2. "Is that supposed to be funny" 3. "What's your real job". (said more when I was doing the entertainment gig full time then I hear these days) 4. "Can I have that?"
Harris Deutsch aka dr laugh
drlaugh4u@gmail.com music, magic and marvelous toys http://magician.org/member/drlaugh4u |
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55john55 Regular user 137 Posts |
I took out a deck of cards and a kid said, "I've seen this one before".
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MagicBus Inner circle Kalamazoo, Michigan 2869 Posts |
Someone read my posts and asked if I bought Obsession perfume to go with it...
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MagicBus Inner circle Kalamazoo, Michigan 2869 Posts |
Do the balloons break often? Answer: Only once.
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JamesTong Eternal Order Malaysia 11213 Posts |
When I was bringing out a pack of cards, someone shouted, "Not another card trick again".
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Bill Ligon Inner circle A sure sign of a misspent youth: 6437 Posts |
"Please name any card in the deck."
"Ok. I'll name this one George."
Author of THE HOLY ART: Bizarre Magick From Naljorpa's Cave. NOW IN HARDCOVER! VIEW: <BR>www.lulu.com/content/1399405 ORDER: http://stores.lulu.com/naljorpa
<BR>A TASSEL ON THE LUNATIC FRINGE |
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Stanyon Inner circle Landrum, S.C. by way of Chicago 3433 Posts |
Typical audience response:
"You really fooled us. We thought you were going to be good!"
Stanyon
aka Steve Taylor "Every move a move!" "If you've enjoyed my performance half as much as I've enjoyed performing for you, then you've enjoyed it twice as much as me!" |
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JamesTong Eternal Order Malaysia 11213 Posts |
Another typical and common response when they walk pass you after the show:
"Good Show!" ... as they walk pass you without even looking at you. |
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Bill Palmer Eternal Order Only Jonathan Townsend has more than 24312 Posts |
Quote:
On 2009-09-04 00:04, MagicBus wrote: A direct quote from Van Cleve's "Miracle of the Little Orange Mouse," published in the 1960's. Are the lines funny? Only once.
"The Swatter"
Founder of CODBAMMC My Chickasaw name is "Throws Money at Cups." www.cupsandballsmuseum.com |
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Sealegs Inner circle The UK, Portsmouth 2596 Posts |
I did a show recently where there was a man sat right in my eye line and right up close to the stage who didn't so much as hint that he might crack the slightest smile during the entire time I was doing my stuff.
Later that evening I saw him talking to the Cruise Director (I was working on a ship) and shortly after that the Cruise Director collared me to have a word. He said the man in question, who was a seasoned cruiser with over 100 cruises under his belt just with that cruise line, had told him that I was the best and funniest act he'd ever seen on a cruise ship. Now it might well be that the man in question, even with all the cruising he does, doesn't bother going to see many shows, ..... or it maybe that up until recently he'd been both blind and deaf.... but either way it's a true story I get a kick out of telling it. Hopefully it'll make the 'Heckle stopper'; "Am I facing the right way?"; "Is this thing on?"; "Is this your first time as an audience?" performer stop ... think ..... and realise, that sometimes it's better to just get on doing your job rather than berating your audience for not giving you the response you feel you deserve. Neal.
Neal Austin
"The golden rule is that there are no golden rules." G.B. Shaw |
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